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He's not texting!!

  • 22-04-2009 9:04am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    A question for all the men out there...

    I kissed a guy last week, we really hit it off and we have mutual friends. However, he has not texted in a couple days now and I don't know where I stand! We did text a little (maybe 8 texts) over the weekend which I initiated and there was good banter but he didn't really ask me anything in the texts...even the last time I texted him he simply replied to it but didn't ask me how I was...

    So now I don't know if I have blown it or not. Was i being too forward in texting him first?Should I have played it cooler and not have contacted him at all????

    Is it just a case of me panicking and not taking into consideration that guys HATE texting or is he just not that into me???? :-)

    I have deleted his number to stop me from texting him in a moment of madness again :-)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Maybe he is just not that into you?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    I have deleted his number to stop me from texting him in a moment of madness again :-)

    Um... since when is it madness to text someone you like? Surely that's what you'd want to be doing, no?

    OP, just call him and ask him out for a drink. Failing that, text him and ask him. At least then you'll know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 65 ✭✭Private Dancer


    Yeah maybe he's not a big texter, give him a call and ask him out.
    At least you will know where you stand then


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    either something is up, or he is just not that into you


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Jaysus, just give the man a text and ask him what the craic is with the both of you ! It's isn't that hard.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Personally, i'd be of the thinking that if he wanted to talk to you, he'd be texting you himself.

    You initiated all the texts. He didn't try to keep the conversation going.

    You didn't 'blow' it. Maybe for whatever reason, he's 'just not that into you'.

    However, your head will prob be wrecked waiting to hear from him. That's human nature.

    I personally wouldn't text him again.. Let him make the move now if he wants.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 343 ✭✭Amy33


    He probably has a girlfriend.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    Hes either a crap texter or he isnt interested tbh.

    You initiated the texting so youv made a move , its now time for him to step up.

    You could text again but why should you? Youv made the move and he hasnt so its his turn , He needs to show some interest. I think anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again.

    He is definitely single. I really don't want to ask him out in case he says no!

    We have mutual friends so it would become very awkward if that happened!!!

    I think it might be best to let it lie and not stir any scandal!

    He is younger than me by 2/3 years so maybe he feels intimated by me...I dunno!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well he said in the texts that he thought I was very pretty and cool. I'm in such a tizzy over it! But the guessing is all part of the fun ! :-)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭sardineta


    Texting is crap. It's impersonal and inconsiderate (and by that I mean people don't consider what they write as carefully as they would speak).

    If you like someone, you call. Unfortunately, you deleted his number, but then if he doesn't call you, he's not interested.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Most normal people cant be bothered texting - it is an added stress that people dont need or want in their life. if i ever meet the person who invented text messages, i will beat them to death with my mobile

    JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND RING HIM


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 343 ✭✭Amy33


    Most normal people cant be bothered texting - it is an added stress that people dont need or want in their life. if i ever meet the person who invented text messages, i will beat them to death with my mobile

    JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND RING HIM

    I agree 100%.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 565 ✭✭✭Millie


    Defo not what you want to hear but if he hasn't texted or engaged in the messages you did send him then I don't he's that interested.

    Believe me I've been there & I do believe if a guy wants you he will make the effort.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    I watched the movie "he's just not that into you" and I really think everyone should be made watch it. Maybe he doesnt like texts, maybe he's shy or maybe .... well .... you know ...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 343 ✭✭Amy33


    6th wrote: »
    I watched the movie "he's just not that into you" and I really think everyone should be made watch it. Maybe he doesnt like texts, maybe he's shy or maybe .... well .... you know ...

    I read that book and thought it was a load of crap.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    I've neither read the book nor seen the film but I long for the day when that phrase "he's just not that into you" will be decommissioned and put beyond use.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    I'm not a big texter at all. Drives the gf mad. Could be the same with you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Chillax and don't text him for a while. If he has told you in the texts that he thinks you are "very pretty and cool", then he means it. Men do what they say on the tin generally and no point in second guessing it or looking for some hidden meaning.The way he sees it, you were in touch only a few days ago. Give the man a chance. Leave it until after this weekend and then call him asking if he fancies going for a drink. I'd be surprised if he hasn't contacted you before then.:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Are you both old enough to go out for a drink? Maybe ask him to go to the movies.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 334 ✭✭Elbi


    Most normal people cant be bothered texting - it is an added stress that people dont need or want in their life. if i ever meet the person who invented text messages, i will beat them to death with my mobile

    JUST PICK UP THE PHONE AND RING HIM


    I really dont agree with this. If I were you I would not ring him or text him again.
    You initiated the last few textes so thats really enough, he must know you are interested now, He has your number if he wants to text he will text.

    Maybe this isnt good advice (i am single after all:p) but its just my opinion.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    Elbi wrote: »
    I really dont agree with this. If I were you I would not ring him or text him again.
    You initiated the last few textes so thats really enough, he must know you are interested now, He has your number if he wants to text he will text.

    Maybe this isnt good advice (i am single after all:p) but its just my opinion.

    No I agree with you!!
    Theres no point in running after him


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 334 ✭✭Elbi


    6th wrote: »
    I watched the movie "he's just not that into you" and I really think everyone should be made watch it. Maybe he doesnt like texts, maybe he's shy or maybe .... well .... you know ...


    Totally agree

    Saw that film too, its great, straight to the point.

    Are you "the Rule" or "The exception"...........
    Most likely We're the bloody rule


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again - ok...I'm going to sit tight and not text, besides I no longer have his number which makes it easy!!!! And anyhow I don't believe in chasing a man. If he wants it, he will come running and will walk on fire to catch me! And if he doesn't there are plently of other hotties in the sea!!!

    Thanks guys! Will keep you updated.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 603 ✭✭✭metalgear2k2


    If he wants it, he will come running and will walk on fire to catch me!

    That's why he hasn't contacted you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    That's why he hasn't contacted you.

    OP here again - explain what you mean? Surely men like the chase?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm in the opposite situation to you. I'm a girl, I kissed a guy twice very recently. He seems really into me, asking me to meet etc. He instigated any texting that went on, and he was the one asking me to meet again etc. He's nice, but I'm not that into him, so I haven't instigated any texting, and I haven't been in contact with him for a few days. If I liked him more, I definitely would.

    I finally understand what goes through guys' heads when they're not that into a girl they've just met. If he likes you, he will contact you, soon.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Tbh, if I was up for something happening, I'd text the girl.... But just cos he hasn't texted doesn't mean he doesn't like you... Maybe he's just not on for a relationship and doesn't wanna have the awkward conversation saying that....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Tbh, if I was up for something happening, I'd text the girl.... But just cos he hasn't texted doesn't mean he doesn't like you... Maybe he's just not on for a relationship and doesn't wanna have the awkward conversation saying that....

    OP here again...gut feeling tells me this might be the case...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,126 ✭✭✭3DataModem


    He is definitely single. I really don't want to ask him out in case he says no!

    I'm starting to see the problem here.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Is it just a case of me panicking and not taking into consideration that guys HATE texting or is he just not that into me???? :-)

    I have deleted his number to stop me from texting him in a moment of madness again :-)

    Bit drastic to delete the number. I don't mind the odd few texts, but some people COMPLETELY overdo it....that BEEP BEEP can make it exciting if you want to know someone's thinking of you, but can quickly get very irritating, especially since some people seem to NEED an immediate text back.

    I wonder how people had relationships before the pesky text message was invented ? How are we (this generation) here at all, I wonder ? :rolleyes:

    And why waste money with loads of texting when you could meet up and spend the time and money having fun ?

    The odd text or flirt during the week is fine, but full-blown conversations ?

    You can't have a relationship via text. See how he is in person before jumping to conclusions.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Id say he just isnt that interested. Anyone that knows me will tell you how shy I can be when it comes to women I like but if I was interested I would definetly make the effort. The fact you initated also should have given him the hint, if he aint following it up id call it a day OP and move on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 75 ✭✭d6


    i think he doesnt want to be an asshole not texting back when you text him as you have mutual friends but he probably feels 'we had fun but I dont really want it to go anywhere' thats why he may not be first to text


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    A question for all the men out there...

    I kissed a guy last week, we really hit it off and we have mutual friends. However, he has not texted in a couple days now and I don't know where I stand! We did text a little (maybe 8 texts) over the weekend which I initiated and there was good banter but he didn't really ask me anything in the texts...even the last time I texted him he simply replied to it but didn't ask me how I was...

    So now I don't know if I have blown it or not. Was i being too forward in texting him first?Should I have played it cooler and not have contacted him at all????

    Is it just a case of me panicking and not taking into consideration that guys HATE texting or is he just not that into me???? :-)

    I have deleted his number to stop me from texting him in a moment of madness again :-)

    Girls do this, guys do this
    Unfortunately, this is the way things go, deleting his number is the right thing to do!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 Nightsky


    Im sorry to say the truth but he really is not that into you.If a guy is interested in you they will keep texting or ringing.He is not bothered.My bf told me this about guys.He may text you again but he is just doing it out of boredom.Sorry to be brutal!!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here - HE TEXTED!!!! :-)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 145 ✭✭sardineta


    Have you called back?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    OP here - HE TEXTED!!!! :-)

    :P haha thats great! after all of us saying he probably wasnt interested he proved us all wrong! good for you OP! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 Nightsky


    Well Op am happy for you,I think.What did he say in the text?Was there an indication that he would like to meet up with you again?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭bubblewrap


    Gyalist wrote: »
    I've neither read the book nor seen the film but I long for the day when that phrase "he's just not that into you" will be decommissioned and put beyond use.

    Me too, it makes me cringe. I read the book and it is just typical american cheese.

    What did he text? Hope it is all good! :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 468 ✭✭snowy2008


    op, an update please?!!! hope it all works out chicks :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 350 ✭✭b28


    thank god i've gone past this stage in my life

    He may not be interested, and next time, play it cooler. This comes with experience also


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 bergdorf


    I'm in a very similar boat to you OP, what did he text you back?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here - he asked me out on a date and it went really well. Said he wasn't great at texting and apologised. At least I know this now and I don't panick if I haven't heard from him. Meeting him this weekend again - he asked. Thanks everyone and it is very good advice to play it cool!!!!! :-)


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