African offering me €18m. Humourous people needed

NADA

So I got an email from a nigerian or some **** like that asking me would I like to claim 18 million dollars. So I decided to write back just for the skit. Can't find the first email I got but here's what I replied:

"Hi

My name is Jonny. I got your email about the unclaimed valuables and would be interested in claiming them. Can you give me more information?

Jonny
"

What I got back is this

Dear Mr Jonny,

     Thanks for the mail and understanding i know you are very serious with this deal like want i have said before Nobody should know i am involved in this deal in the company, and i will supply you with all the information and documents covering the Deposit of the Consignment here in this company but which of this boxes should we moved first from here, is it the one with No.1201 containing $10.3 million Dollars or the one with No.1202 containing $8 million Dollars? so that i can send you the document immediately then you write to the management.
    But before i will do this i need to know whom I'm dealing with more better like sending your ID, where from, your mobile contact for easy communication than i will send you the document covering the fund, how to write the company and the company contact.

Regards

Mr Idem J. Kama.

and

Dear Mr Jonny,
 
   How are you today i send you an email yesterday but is like somebody in my company has access to my hotmail box so want you will do is to get back to me with this box.

    I need to know whom I'm dealing with more better like sending your ID card or international passport, the country you are from, your mobile contact for easy communication than i will send you the document covering the fund, how to write the company and the company contact.

    I know you are very serious with this deal like want i have said before Nobody should know i am involved in this deal in the company, and i will supply you with all the information and documents covering the Deposit of the Consignment here in this company but which of this boxes should we moved first from here, is it the one with No.1201 containing $10.3 million Dollars or the one with No.1202 containing $8 million Dollars? so that i can send you the document immediately then you write to the management.
  
Regards

Mr Kama.

Now I am looking for ideas on how I can take this further and waste as much of this guys time as possible? I know you guys are all very capable when it comes to taking the piss and what to write back!

Insect Overlord

Sounds like Mr Kama knows you're on to him already, TBH.

TheInquisitor

Fake name ,fake number, Fake address.... He'll get in trouble then for trying to sell your information or at least waste his time making fake documents with this fake information.

Say you'll be visiting the city his in in 2 days, and have a lot of cash on you for a big business deal and can you meet him because he's the only person you know

Mr. Presentable

This was fun

http://www.mikeindustries.com/blog/archive/2005/01/playing-along-with-email-scams

Stercus Accidit

You'll get many times more spam once you go on the active e-mail list.

Well done.

Mr. Presentable

As was this

http://www.419baiter.com/games/moore.html

Dudess

So I got an email from an italian or some **** like that...

Mr.Lizard

Dudess wrote: »

So I got an email from an italian or some **** like that...

Racist.

Abi

Ya never know. He could be telling the truth. Those fancy cars dont grow on trees.

You could tell him his money is worthless here now. The country went tïts up and we've switched back to bartering. We swop live stock, fruit, veg, eggs and Africans. Then ask if he'd like to stay at yours, 'friend'.

Paddy Samurai

NADA wrote: »

I know you are very serious with this deal like want i have said before Nobody should know i am involved in this deal in the company, and i will supply you with all the information and documents covering the Deposit of the Consignment here in this company but which of this boxes should we moved first from here, is it the one with No.1201 containing $10.3 million Dollars or the one with No.1202 containing $8 million Dollars?

Ask him can he send you the box no?, for the box containing............... "The Mythical and fabulously wealthy Celtic Tiger",that you have heard about.
If he can find it,plenty of people will have the dosh to fall for this scam again and again.
Let the good times rollllll!.

My name is URL

What I do is forward all mail from addresses which I mark as (419) spam to a seperate mail account and auto-send 100 replies for every 1 I recieve.

AnonoBoy

I just got this Irish guy trying to scam me. Help me have some fun with him:

Dear Sir,

During the course of the audit of your Company’s financial statements for the year ended 31 December 2008, there were a number of issues that came to our attention that need to be reported to you as director of the company.

This report deals with the following areas

* Weaknesses in the internal controls and accounting systems
* Significant audit risks that have an impact on the audit report
* Unadjusted misstatements
* Any VAT/PAYE issues
* Qualitative aspects of the company’s accounting practices and financial reporting
* Matters specifically required by other ISAs (UK and Ireland) to be communicated to the directors’

This letter was prepared for the sole use of the company, the content must not be disclosed to any third party, without our prior written consent and we assume no responsibility to any other person.

Finally we would like to thank you and your staff for the assistance offered to us during the course of our work.

If you have any queries in relation to the above, please contact us at any time.


Yours faithfully

Auditors,
Revenue Service,
9/15 Upper O'Connell Street,
Dublin 1.

:rolleyes: Who do these clowns think they're trying to fool?

Earthhorse

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Who do these clowns think they're trying to fool?

Ask them to take a picture of themselves with a levy on top of their income to prove it's really them.

Capt'n Midnight

Tell the African you can only pay in Dollars
String him out a bit and then ask if Zimbabwean dollars are ok.

magick

say ur scared of all these fraud emails going around and as a sign of good faith, take a picture of himself with a shoe on his head and a sign saying "boards.ie FTW"

AckwelFoley

Had a look through it.

Seems legit.

Can i get some of the action?

MIN2511

Name is definitely Nigerian!
Ask him for an address, bank acct details, phone number e.t.c.
Also he should send you the legal documents, when he does pm me!
In Nigeria there's a Goverment body which 'allegedly' combats fraud. We could play a prank and tell him they are onto him, depending on his location i can get someone to pretend to be EFCC-this sounds really mean reading it

galwayrush

Only 18 Million, used to be way more, obviously the bull**** is affected by the credit crunch as well:rolleyes:

tech77

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I just got this Irish guy trying to scam me. Help me have some fun with him:




:rolleyes: Who do these clowns think they're trying to fool?

Impeccable spelling, punctuation and grammar though-
almost read like a real business letter at times.

They're getting better- you have to give them that.

tech77

Dudess wrote: »

So I got an email from an italian or some **** like that...

Yeah, those damn italian 419 scammers...

Dudess

Well I was just referring to the silly "Nigerian or some **** like that" comment. The guy most likely IS Nigerian but "or some **** like that"... LOL

Fiend-Foe

Lots of great stuff here http://www.419eater.com/.

I had a great one going for a while with a guy I worked with in on it, we were both playing the guy for ages, had him send us a passport scan. It was one he got on the web somewhere with sample written across it in big red letters.

If anybody is stupid enought to fall for this stuff they deserve to be scammed tbh

stovelid

Consider this: one day it may be a real, exiled Nigerian prince, and somewhere, a non-cynical workmate is going to become a multimillionaire while you're all laughing it up with your nerd mates over on 419eater.

galwayrush

stovelid wrote: »

Consider this: one day it may be a real, exiled Nigerian prince, and somewhere, a non-cynical workmate is going to become a multimillionaire while you're all laughing it up with your nerd mates over on 419eater.

Nope, the Irish Tax Man will be laughing.:rolleyes:

Woooly

Reminded me of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MTFauI8INY

AnonoBoy

stovelid wrote: »

Consider this: one day it may be a real, exiled Nigerian prince, and somewhere, a non-cynical workmate is going to become a multimillionaire while you're all laughing it up with your nerd mates over on 419eater.

Flight of the Conchords already did that gag!

O'Coonassa

If you're not the greedy eejit he's fishing for then really you should stay out of it (unless of course you have a clear idea of what it's like to survive in a non-welfare state on less than a couple of dollars a day with unemployment running at 30 or 40%)

stovelid

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Flight of the Conchords already did that gag!

They invented sarcasm? Good lads themselves.

shreddedloops

O'Coonassa wrote: »

If you're not the greedy eejit he's fishing for then really you should stay out of it (unless of course you have a clear idea of what it's like to survive in a non-welfare state on less than a couple of dollars a day with unemployment running at 30 or 40%)

Are you actually condoning (spelling??) these scams?? :eek:

NADA

Dear IDEM KAMA

Sorry I took so long to get back to you but for the past few days I couldn't stop choking my chicken. He was really giving me a hard time Also before I forward my details onto you I would like you to send me a photo of your passport. Just so I can who I am dealing with could you send me a photo of you with a shoe on your head holding a sign saying "boardsie ftw" also just so I know this is not some sort of automated message. If you can simply do this I will send you my phone number. Would it not be simpler if I just gave you my bank details and you transferred the money to me? Or is that not possible. Either way I am willing to pay for send you 1000€ to fly to berlin germany. A flight from your country cannot be any more than that. If it is let me know. But in order for me to send this money you need to complete that task so that I can see you and feel like I can trust you.


That is my latest reply.

Capt'n Midnight

stovelid wrote: »

Consider this: one day it may be a real, exiled Nigerian prince, and somewhere, a non-cynical workmate is going to become a multimillionaire while you're all laughing it up with your nerd mates over on 419eater.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/new_car.png

"Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers."

O'Coonassa

shreddedloops wrote: »

Are you actually condoning (spelling??) these scams?? :eek:

In general I am most certainly. Please don't be shocked I'm from a bad line. Certain ancestors of mine from Wexford were involved in misguiding and wrecking ships off the coast. Still others from a line in Limerick were deported for the crime of stealing livestock. Bad genes you see

When the Aristocrats were the only ones with Education and Money we cheated them, stole from them, and lied to them at every chance we got. Nowday's I may well spend the equivalent of a mans entire days wages on a 500ml bottle of water that I could get out of the tap; but I will never think like an Aristocrat and make sport of the poor and uneducated.

The people in Nigeria are struggling to survive as did my ancestors so how can I blame them for fishing for greedy corrupt idiots? Besides, with the help of my Government's business partner I have anyways cheated them all out of hundereds of litres of oil.

AnonoBoy

stovelid wrote: »

They invented sarcasm?

Yes. Yes they did.

Babooshka

O'Coonassa wrote: »

...but I will never think like an Aristocrat and make sport of the poor and uneducated.

The people in Nigeria are struggling to survive as did my ancestors so how can I blame them for fishing for greedy corrupt idiots? Besides, with the help of my Government's business partner I have anyways cheated them all out of hundereds of litres of oil.

Well, I get what you're saying but two wrongs don't make a right. And it's more likely to be some innocent, but gulllible (ok maybe a bit greedy too) granny who answers those things anyway.

O'Coonassa

Babooshka wrote: »

Well, I get what you're saying but two wrongs don't make a right. And it's more likely to be some innocent, but gulllible (ok maybe a bit greedy too) granny who answers those things anyway.

Age should bring wisdom at any rate but mostly the peoples from teh interwebs aren't grannies. In general only relatively rich people with too much money and too little brain get caught out by these scams. I'm not saying that it's right, just that it's entirely understandable given the shoes the scammers are standing in.

MikeC101

O'Coonassa wrote: »

If you're not the greedy eejit he's fishing for then really you should stay out of it (unless of course you have a clear idea of what it's like to survive in a non-welfare state on less than a couple of dollars a day with unemployment running at 30 or 40%)

Are you actually naive enough to believe that the people running these scams are average unemployed Nigerians and not lower level members of organised gangs that also run drug smuggling rings, are involved in human trafficking and prostitution?

upmeath

Was his name George Agdgdgwngo by any chance? Youtube "Fonejacker George"

OP, Ray Foley on Today FM rings these scammers back every week, if you can get a number for your man in Africa forward it on to Foley and get him to follow it up on national radio, then we can all share in the laughs.

As a side note, none too impressed by your introduction "Nigerian or some **** like that". It's only 30 years since Irish people, along with Africans, were compared to dogs when applying for jobs in the UK.

Purple Gorilla

O'Coonassa wrote: »

In general only relatively rich people with too much money and too little brain get caught out by these scams.

Why would a rich person, who already has millions, go for a scam like this?

leitrim lad

the recession must be hitting the nigerians aswell they emailed me last year looking to give me 110m dollars out of a will, if i said i was related to muka taka yoba who ever he was

dj barr st louis was this blokes solicitors apparently, they wanted to meet me in johanesburg and insisted i brought €35,000 cash to cover legal fees, in good faith of course

i emailed them back and told them that my own solicitors would look after it for me , but i told them thanks any way ,we were well able to read a will here in ireland we didnt need ,continental solicitors

they didnt take it too funny, infact the opposite

Capt'n Midnight

leitrim lad wrote: »

the recession must be hitting the nigerians aswell they emailed me last year looking to give me 110m dollars out of a will, if i said i was related to muka taka yoba who ever he was

Nooo !!!!!!

Please, please , please tell me that Great-Uncle Yoba is OK :eek:

galwayrush

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Nooo !!!!!!

Please, please , please tell me that Great-Uncle Yoba is OK :eek:

Oh feck, you haven't heard, afraid he died in a plane crash. Highly suspicious apparently.

leitrim lad

so it was probably you 2 that i saw at the funeral then was it ,i didnt realise i had cousins on the boards.

and i guess you got the call via email at 3.45 am about the plane crash aswell , a great way to be told your going to be on the rich list
great uncle muka taba yoba is dead and your now worth 110m dollars if you give me the other half and 35k in good faith

Jet Black

Be careful, a lot of people ignore these emails and could be losing out on millions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Br6dK5yZQk

johnathan woss

O'Coonassa wrote: »

In general I am most certainly. Please don't be shocked I'm from a bad line. Certain ancestors of mine from Wexford were involved in misguiding and wrecking ships off the coast. Still others from a line in Limerick were deported for the crime of stealing livestock. Bad genes you see

When the Aristocrats were the only ones with Education and Money we cheated them, stole from them, and lied to them at every chance we got. Nowday's I may well spend the equivalent of a mans entire days wages on a 500ml bottle of water that I could get out of the tap; but I will never think like an Aristocrat and make sport of the poor and uneducated.

The people in Nigeria are struggling to survive as did my ancestors so how can I blame them for fishing for greedy corrupt idiots? Besides, with the help of my Government's business partner I have anyways cheated them all out of hundereds of litres of oil.

Well done that's the most unintentionally funny thing I've read in ages (if you're fishing I was caught) ! :pac:

Insect Overlord

Sorry to bump an old thread, but anywho:

URGENT CALL TO SERVE‏
From: mrdmalloy054@libero.it (mrdmalloy054@libero.it)
Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: 14 May 2009 17:20:25
To: mrdmalloy054@libero.it

Greetings dearly beloved!

My name is Donald Malloy; I am 55 years old white
farmer and hold a dual Nationality as Zimbabwean and British. My wife and two
children died in a car accident two years ago while on holiday in Egypt. Since
I have no children of my own and immediate relatives, I decided to ask for your
help in this project. I have been helping orphans and children in orphanage
homes by donating money and other valuable items.

Presently, I am receiving
intensive treatment having been diagnosed of cancer of the lungs and my doctors
told me that I have few months to live. Before I became ill, I saved the sum of
(US$3,350,000) which was derived from the sales of my farm, real estates and
gulf court with a private security & deposit company. I wanted to use it for an
urgent investment requiring cash payment in Europe because of the problem white
farmers were having in Zimbabwe with the government and the black locals which
lead to the killing and destruction of properties of some unlucky once.

I am
by this letter nominating you as the new beneficiary to collect the fund from
the company. After which you will donate on my behalf part of the fund to
charity and orphanage homes of your choice around the world.

I believe you can
be trusted for this task for the service of humanity and glory to God. I
authorize you to take 20% of the total sum for you and your family and use the
rest to touch the lives of the less privilege.

If you are willing and capable
to carry out this project, please email me back with your names, address,
occupation and phone to enable me send an official notification power of
attorney to the security company notifying them of your new status as the
beneficiary/trustee of the fund.

Kindly get back to me on my email address
mrdmalloy@hotmail.com ONLY if you are able to handle this project for the
service to humanity or you may call me.

I await your urgent response

Yours
sincerely,

Mr. Donald Malloy
+44 7045702210
Email: mrdmalloy@hotmail.com

Here's a new one to watch out for.

stepbar

OP, you should tell the scammer than you got a better offer and have decided to go with him.

Capt'n Midnight

An File wrote: »

Sorry to bump an old thread, but anywho:

Here's a new one to watch out for.

You should comment on what a great idea this is and how you have a terminal disease, like Cirrhosis and would like to do the same in the time you have left and when they find someone would they like to take care of your money too

jaybee747

You should reply and tell him your having some difficulty at the moment with your bank as a Ugandan prime minister has just deposited 150million dollars into your bank and the bank are becoming suspicious,ask him for his details so you can offload it to "rest" in his account and as a good will jester he can keep the interest gained.

Then tell him to pass it on to 10 people within a second or he'll choke on the third Sunday of June whislt riding a unicycle dressed as a girl.

Kold

Don't use code tags =/

Sofiztikated

Aw, wish I was that lucky.
Seems like everyone is getting all this money, and noone is giving any to me.

O'Coonassa

Purple Gorilla wrote: »

Why would a rich person, who already has millions, go for a scam like this?

Just by virtue of the fact you're living in the west and using a PC to regularly pick up e-mail that makes you rich beyond the wildest dreams of most of your fellow humans on Earth. Poor people don't have any spare money to sling around, they need to use it right away to stop themselves from starving.