Social Networking Depression

LegacyUser

Im not what you would call an extrovert,outgoing adventurous type but then Im not exactly, introverted loner type either- Im somewhere in the middle.

I have a small group of friends and go out for pints every now and again, generally go to a social event if Ive been invited out of politeness if nothing else and have been on a couple of holidays- no mad travelling tho.

It doesnt really bother me, was happy enough until I joined a well known social networking website recently- (that I'll refer to as FB incase of infractions)

Like most people (probably) Ive addded my firends and alot of other people who are more aquantances, not really people I really socialise with.

Anyway my problem is this, everytime I log into the bloody thing, my news feed list is absolutely hopping with all the great things these people are doing; travelling, nights out, dinner parties, sessions, weekends away etc etc the list goes on.

Im not begrudging, i think its great people live such interesting/outgoing lives but its made me realise how little I actually do and tbh its starting to really depress me.

Maybe this is more of a rant, is it just me or anyone else feel this way?

I wish I never signed up to the thing, its making me feel crap (maybe I should start doing more- but then I wasnt really worried about it until I signed up to FB).

Silverfish

A lot of times, people say things to make their lives seem more exciting than they are.

Any chance of you being asked along to any of these things, or tagging along - or arranging something yourself and asking people to come?

wylo

Op have you considered travelling properly? Its something you can do on your own and it gets that feeling out of you.

I was the same as you, but tbh after I came back from travelling it doesnt bother me one bit when I see nights out that im missing or the fun lives others have etc

Kalashnikov_Kid

Ehm without trying to sound unhelpful, I wouldnt worry about social networking sites too much. At the end of the day, whenever you see an update it is from someone staring into a laptop and not necessarily living life! I know people who seem to lead v. exciting lives according to their profile yet rarely get out of bed in the morning while having very few real life close friends to call for.

So alot of the stuff out there is BS. I spent today sussing out a new university and town that Ive decided to relocate to for the next two years. Have I an urge to tell everyone on facebook/twitter/whatever? No ill tell my real friends thanks very much.

A good stint of travelling would fix your mood too!

cafecolour

Well, do the math. If you have 100 friends, and each vacations a week a year, it should average out that every week there should be 2 people posting about vacations. I think it's making it seem like everyones doing more than it is.

Overall though, there will always be people partying/traveling more than you and people doing less. Just like there will always be someone with a faster computer/nicer clothes/bigger house and those with slower/cheaper/smaller. Just find the level you are happy and sustainable at.

LegacyUser

Don't worry OP the grass is not greener on the other side, people do just post up snaps of things but you can really tell if they actually enjoyed themselves or are any happier than you.....


All you have to do to feel better is see yourself for all your strengths and positives,
Everyone has them, someone might be insecure about being over weight but may have a cracking personality, someone might be a twig but have bad skin, it makes no odds what anyone looks like, overcoming insecurity starts with feeling good on the inside then you ooozze that, learn to love yourself and watch everything in your life change for the better,


Good luck.

leggo

That stuff really annoys me. I've been guilty of it in the past, but it screams of, "Oooh my life is interesting! Look at me! Please someone realise how interesting my life is!"

Think about it this way: They've their own issues if they need to do that.

Live life by your own rules. If you're not happy about the amount you socialise, do whatever you can to improve that. The same with travelling etc. If you're happy, then don't worry about other people's standards...because these same people may get on their high horse when things are going good, but you won't hear a peep from them when things aren't as exciting.

John Mason

Just stop logging on or delete your profile

LegacyUser

Why do you let it bother it you? If their life is so interesting why are they always logging on to FB. It could be that they don't have a really exciting life either. If it bothers you that much then stop logging on to it. Go out, have a drink and meet some real people.

Judes

Hey OP - so you think you need to do more in life - well do it!!! Start with some voluntary work - it's rewarding, you meet wonderful people, it's very social and it opens many doors. If you're interested in politics in any way, join your local party. If there's a theatre group nearby, offer your services, you can do behind the scenes work, front-of-house. Something sporty - helping kids in a Youth Club. Whatever you are "interested" in - get involved.
You're helping others and yourself.

Boards is the only Social Site I view/comment on because you can get really useful information from it. I refuse to become one of the Face Book/ Bebo/ Whatevers. My view is that people who spend half of their times on these sites talking about their wonderful life obviously have a lot of time to sit on their backsides doing nothing but talking of what they did do or might do. I know people who have become totally obsessed with it. Why? People need to communicate with each other face-to-face.

So go on, sign up and do something today. (Isn't there a Volunteerism section under Personal on Boards?). Good Luck. J

MeMyself&I

Holy crap, i was just thinking the same thing. I always thought my life was great, until i started reading about other people adventures.

It can be really depressing, but it has encouraged me to do more. Jan 2010 im off to oz for a year!!

LegacyUser

People who are actually out living life don't have time to be posting about how great things are on social network sites.They're too busy...living!

KadMunky

I actually had the same problem recently with a website I'll refer to as big B. If found everybody was having a good time, in new relationships, jobs etc but me, also people didn't reply to my messages and ignored me. To compound the problem I am a top graduate who is unemployed in the construction sector. My depression was sky high. The simplest solution was to delet the page. But It was addictive. I sat down and thought through all the pros of the wesites and all the cons. I realise the cons outweighed the pros and it was making me depressed, jealous, bitter and ultimately angry. So I logged on to my page and gave notice that I was deleting the page in one week. I gave the reason that I didnt agree with the idea of living my life through a computer screen and that I wanted to meet people in the flesh and have fun. The reason I gave it a week was to see peoples reactions. Of over 400 friends only 6 contacted me back. I knew who my real freinds were and forwarded my email address to keep in touch. I deleted the page and strangely enough I felt free. It sounds corny I know but it felt good not having to worry about missing out because I was out there now. Social network sites are a great idea but I think they don't always work and are too easy to abuse. hope this helps

estar

how come they have time to be constantly on the internet telling people

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

when things are too good to be true they generally are.

how insecure and immature is it to constantly need to remind people

I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN MY LIFE IS SO AMAZING

LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

perhaps you have lost your common sense on this one. stop competing.

LegacyUser

I can completely relate to what the OP is saying. It can be depressing looking at how many friends a person has got, the content of a persons conversations with their friend ("i got with this fine one last night"), a persons relationship status, the photos of them on holidays with their friends/ girlfriends.
Personally, one of the most depressing things I ever saw on a particular one of those sights was in summer 07 when loads of my school year went away on the usual LC holiday; I didnt go, and neither did my close friends, but it was depressing to see that so many went away and were probably having the time of their lives....i actualy wish those sights dint exist.

KadMunky

If something is bad for you then you have to avoid those things for the sake of yer health and mental health. Also feeling depressed about someone elses lifestyle should be a wake-up call for people. I mean are you really happy with your own life?why or why not? My personal motto is '**** it, my life, my rules'. I want to be able to grow old and look back on my life and be happy with what I achieved. What a person regards as an achievement is up to each individual. But don't regard it as an achievement by someone elses standards. I mean we would all love to get with some fine young one last night and a different one tonight but is that what really constitutes as happiness?-bragging rights about someone ya got with last night???
Also what is the deal with photo albums? I personally don't want to see some gob drunkenly fallen over in 50 pics over and over!:rolleyes:

upmeath

I'd never worry about anything anyone says on a social networking site, people give great accounts of their lives on them and I often think it's to make themselves feel better for the rather vacuous lives they're actually leading away from the computer monitor.
And as for friend count... who gives a flying fcuk? Take for example you could be a barman in rural Ireland who really only knows a few dozen people around the town or whatever, but you see them regularly and you know them relatively well. Then you have fools (and I go to college with a fair few fools) who add people because they were in the same room as them at a house party once, and end up with 600 "friends" who are actually just people they saw at a party, went home and stalked, but know absolutely nothing about. They couldn't really call them a friend away from a computer screen because they don't know them from Adam and can't confide in them or anything real friends would do.

monellia

OP - Consider that while these people look to have wild and exciting social lives, they must also spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet updating their FB accounts - kind of sad, huh? Furthermore, these are usually the type of people who are way too concerned about taking pictures whenever they go out, solely for the purpose of putting them on FB. I don't know about you or anyone else, but I find that this detracts from the enjoyment of the event.

Another thing to note is that these people only account for a percentage of your friends. What about the rest? Cool, likeable people? You shouldn't decide what defines a good social life based on the behaviour of a percentage of your friends. Instead, accept that people are different. Some are extremely sociable and find the time to do all these exciting things. Some, like yourself, are more reserved and value their close circle of friends as well as their own personal space. Both are fine. You shouldn't compare your life to anyone else's. What matters is that you are content and happy with yourself. You will never achieve this by trying to live up to what you perceive to be people's expectations of you. All people expect is that you stay true to yourself