"In this world of loneliness I see no face"

LegacyUser

I'm really struggling with life and I don' know where to turn. Firstly I have been suffering from depression I think for the last 6 months. I haven't gone to any doctor because I don't see how they can help, I hate been judged and being a student I can't afford to throw 50e away for bad advice off a doctor! I can suddenly go from happy to sad in minutes for no apparent reason and sometimes it feels like life is just too much, and over time I have noticed a progressive worsening of the problem. I am not close to my family and wouldn't confide in my friends so I feel really lost, I don't really feel good about talking to people over the phone that I don't know either, like the Samaritans. It's all getting intolerable and I really don't think I can last much longer

My other problem is my love life. I was in a long term relationship and we broke up a year or so ago, I was devastated. We recently got back in touch and started hanging out again, we kinda got close and she broke it off with her then boyfriend to get back with me. She said she loved me and all that but then the very next day got together with this fairly random guy and said she still loves me but just doesn't want to be with me! It has destroyed me, I don't eat or sleep and I struggle to get up and go to college anymore and I just wonder why. I gave her nothing but my heart and she knew I would walk off a cliff for her and she just throws it back at me in such a cold manner. It has left me with zero confidence in myself.

I go out but my heart isn't in it. I've been told I am good looking but I have been left in pieces by this girl so I feel worthless. I know there is a lot of issues in there but I would be really grateful for advice or an opinion, anything really. Thank you.

Nervous Wreck

Lifeisbad wrote: »

Firstly I have been suffering from depression I think for the last 6 months. I haven't gone to any doctor because I don't see how they can help, I hate been judged and being a student I can't afford to throw 50e away for bad advice off a doctor! I can suddenly go from happy to sad in minutes for no apparent reason and sometimes it feels like life is just too much, and over time I have noticed a progressive worsening of the problem.

Well a doctor can refer you to a good counselor to help sort this out with you. Also, if needed, a doc can prescribe you some medication to help you relax. Depending on your college, shouldn't there be a student doctor that's cheap or free to go to?

I'm not much help, I apologise, but that bit kinda jumped at me so.... Good luck....

star-pants

You do sound like you might benefit from counselling. Even just to work through some of your problems. Can you arrange to see the student doctor? (Assumidly that's cheaper/free) or even a counsellor in college who might refer you to some one. It's very easy to get into the loop of feeling bad and not wanting to continue.
Regarding the ex gf, I suggest you steer clear of her, no offence meant to her as I don't know her, but that's pretty crappy behaviour if you 'love' someone. She broke up with a bf to be with you and said she loved you but then was with someone else and said she doesn't acutally want to be with you?
She either hasn't a clue, or knew well what she was doing. Using you as support when she broke up from the other guy, and then ditched you once she found someone else. It's her who's not worth it, not you mister. You're far from worthless (Although I do understand how you feel that way) and you deserve someone better. Cut contact and move on from her, she'll only bring you back down.

Overheal

If you're a student, presumably, your college or institution keeps a counselor on staff, who is available to you by an appointment free of charge. Check their website and schedule via webmail.