Am I always going to be alone?

LegacyUser

Hey people,

Basically i am nineteen,nearly twenty and i have absolutely NO love life.(and i never have had for that matter) I have never been in a relationship, never had sex and its really staring to get me down. I know that im young and i should be enjoying single life but it seems like all of my friends are in relationship-im always the third wheel to everybody, and even though im pretty good looking ( not to be vain) i can never meet a nice guy!

No, im not a lesbian (my friends ask me) and yes i have scored lots of people but it never goes beyond a random score in a nightclub. What can i do to attract a genuine guy, and where can i meet a guy who isnt just chatting me up coz im in a short skirt and he wants to sleep with me!?

star-pants

I didn't have my first kiss/boyfriend until I was nearly 19, and I didn't sleep with one until I was 23. (I'm 25 now) So don't worry about all that. My friends (even the really quiet ones) had all had bfs before me etc and I always wondered what was wrong with me?
Turns out I hadn't met the right guy - and even when I did start dating, I was dating a lot of the wrong ones!! Didn't date a decent one until I was 24.

As regards meeting a guy who wants more than a night with you, I would try within less drink related environments. Perhaps a club or a dance class or something in your social circle. That way you get to know them a bit first.

Overheal

It happens when you arent thinking about it. When you're worried about it, it comes off in your behavior around other people and it can sabotage you. Better not to think about why and just carry on... usually the most attractive people are the ones driving forward with self motivation, goals and ambitions. The ones sitting around wondering why they havent met anyone or accomplished anything usally get left behind.

Geranium

I know it's easy to just dish out this advice, but really do just relax and enjoy your life. These are some of the best years of your life when you should be going out, meeting new people and trying new things.

Meeting someone is really more down to chance than anything else, don't worry, it will happen. Make the most of the free time not having a partner will give you, go out with friends, try new things. As another poster said, it'll come along when you're not looking!

easyeason3

Maybe your desperation to have an active love life is what is hindering it?
Guys do pick up on that kind of thing & just count yourself lucky that you haven't met anyone nasty enough to exploit that.
I wouldn't put a time frame on it but I would suggest that you relax a bit. Also you could take up a hobby which would put you in contact with males who have a similar interest which in turn will make it easier to start a friendship/ relationship.
I know it must be very frustrating for you but a watched kettle never boils so if you can put it out of your mind chances are you will find what you are after.

cltt97

Don't worry. I was 19 first time I had sex and first half decent relationship I was around 22. Decent guys seem to come around when you expect it the least and hardly ever when you go looking for one.

Webmonkey

Don't worry about it, I'm 22, coming towards 23 and I still havn't had a love life. You're only ~19/20 - even though you feel you're getting old, you really arn't - plenty time ahead.

Your friends asking if you are a lesbian certainly doesn't help at all, I wouldn't take any notice of this! Just go out enjoy yourself and don't feel pressured having to find someone, they'll find you alright don't worry.

CelticDemon

aww dont worry about this problem that you have.

It will happen to you when you least expect it.Meeting guys in clubs??

Well nobody goes out on the town looking for love in a club.hehe.
I would love to know if you would share whats your insight with your approach?
Do you wait for a man to talk to you or do you talk to them first?
do you get wasted in a club and just shift fellas,you know just go wild kinda thingy lol?
Never compare your life to others as you say ohh my friends are in relationships all happy go lucky.
things arnt always what they seem and please dont feel like a third wheel around them.
Have you tried going to other places, you would be surprised where you could find a nice man.
Is there any guys working somewhere that you fancy?
Get talking to them and Bite the bullet and ask them to go on a date.

Hope you really find someone

Kevster

I'm 26, male, and haven't been with a girl for nearly 5 years now. I've little interest in sex too. There are many people out there like you and I, I can assure you. What I'm trying to say is: You're not alone in having this feeling of loneliness. However, the mere fact that you are worrying about being lonely should spur you on to do everything you can not to be alone in the future.

Take care my dear,
Kevin

pikachucheeks

I used to feel the same way you do, OP!

I think it's all about knowing what you want and being wise;

If you meet a guy in a club, don't expect it to turn into anything serious - it often isn't. Sometimes, it's just a drunken hook-up and you don't hear anymore from them, regardless of how attractive you are

So, if you want a cheeky pull, go to a club!

If you're after something more serious, try joining a local club or society. No alcohol involved, so people are likely to take a more genuine interest.

Something I did to help myself and possibly the best advice I can give is to love yourself. Look at yourself in a mirror, embrace yourself for who and what you are! No one's perfect ... but highlight what you like about yourself and know you're fabulous!

Guys dig confidence - being happy with yourself and secure in who you are can be very attractive and can help you big time on your way to meeting Mr Right!

But since you are young, chill out - there's plenty of time! Don't rush around looking for a man, enjoy being young and single and wait until someone good enough for you comes along and makes up for all your bad experiences!

LegacyUser

I'm 30 and in the same boat.

Its not easy but enjoy spending time with your friends and hopefully things will happen fro you.

LegacyUser

OP I think things will happen for you in its own good time.
The time when you aren't consciously looking to meet someone will hopefully be the time that you will.
Don't wish away some of the best years of your life!
Get out there and enjoy your youth. All the trials and tribulations of relationships are further down the road.
It's probably quite rare to develop a proper relationship from someone you meet in the pub anyway!