Funny fixie article

white apples

"Fixed-gear bicycles are the scourge of modern bike fashion. Actually, fixies are almost nothing but fashion. If you took a swaying, brainless, gazelle-like catwalk model and turned her into a bike, a fixie is what you’d get.
It’s not enough that these cred-machines don’t even work well as city bikes — their track-bike heritage means that they have but one gear, no freewheel and no brakes — no, the riders have to take things even further and load up their rides with all manner of style-mandated extras. In fact, so much like a cult is the fixie "movement" that we wouldn’t be surprised to see the FBI get involved, right before the whole fixie underground goes up in flames, barricaded into a San Fransisco coffee shop and dressed in ironic T-shirts. Here is a list of the five worst fixie fashion faux pas:"

Full Article

Raam

He says this about top tube pads...

For a fixie, though, it is nothing more than posing — if the riders were that worried about safety, they’d buy a front brake.

Then shows a bike with a top tube pad and a front brake. :rolleyes:

Chips Lovell

It's gas seeing top tube pads on fixies without drops.

lukester

My pet peeve du jour is spoke cards.

If you're a courier and/or you've ridden a few alleycats, and really want to advertise that, fair enough I guess.

Otherwise it just reeks of desperation.

Ghost Rider

Part of me spurns the whole plethora of fixie fashion acoutrements. But then I think about certain other, long-accepted fashion appendages of our culture e.g. neck ties, which are no more functional and arguably at least as ridiculous as spoke cards. And I wonder if these sorts of debates are not best understood as debates between conformists and non-conformists but between people who accept fashion trends as small opportunities to individuate yourself within broadly accepted conventions and those who wait for others to accept these trends before they too, begrudgingly and embarassedly, join in.

But I'm not sure.

DirkVoodoo

That's the Felt curbside, the poser version of the dispatch...still a good bike and not based on a track frame so it's pretty agile around town.

blorg

El Tonto wrote: »

It's gas seeing top tube pads on fixies without drops.

As far as I am aware the main excuse for them is that it protects the top tube when you lock the bike (why you would be locking it there I don't know, through the back wheel would be the primary place.)

There is another excuse that it somehow protects you when you are testicle to the bar doing a skid but to be honest in my own experience skidding I don't see how it would be much help there, some sort of padding around the headset would be more to the point.

Where do you figure the drops come in to the equation?

Bikesnob has a piece where he traces the evolution from BMX, would make sense, I do actually clip my knees off the top tube on my MTB.

At the end of the day I reckon top tube pads on a street bike are simply a fashion statement and they have no useful purpose.

In fairness to fixies they are actually pretty ideal for city bikes, especially in flat cities, there is a lot less to go wrong and they work well with less maintenance. A lot of fun too. Wired article was pretty reasonable as to the fashions though

Raam

blorg wrote: »

Wired article was pretty reasonable as to the fashions though

They nailed you with the Brooks part. You still rocking one of them on the fixie?

rottenhat

blorg wrote: »

Where do you figure the drops come in to the equation?

Without brake cables, there's nothing to stop drop handlebars from swinging round and smacking into your top tube when you're wheeling the bike or lifting it or whatever. You can get these plastic rings that fit onto the top tube at the appropriate point which are a rather more elegant solution than a big ugly pad but since they're basically keirin gear they're ludicrously expensive.

rottenhat

Raam wrote: »

They nailed you with the Brooks part. You still rocking one of them on the fixie?

A big springer on a fixie is ludicrous and I find it hard to believe that anyone really does that. A Swallow, on the other hand, is classy. It's all in the detail

blorg

Raam wrote: »

They nailed you with the Brooks part. You still rocking one of them on the fixie?

I am rocking two of them on both my fixies Given that I use them on my other bikes too I think it is acceptable. All unsprung thank you. Thinking of a new fixie, although the Swallow will be going on the Litespeed soon I reckon...

Chips Lovell

rottenhat wrote: »

Without brake cables, there's nothing to stop drop handlebars from swinging round and smacking into your top tube when you're wheeling the bike or lifting it or whatever.

That's the reason that has traditionally been cited, but I've noticed more and more the 'it protects yer bike when it's locked to a post' excuse used recently. It would make you wonder what non-fixie owners ever do to survive all this paint damage.

On the subject of bizarre fixie fashions, I saw a courier earlier this week who had his flat bars chopped so short he could barely fit his hands on them. Needless to say, steering the bike looked like a bit of a chore for him.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

My Name is Mario wrote: »

On the subject of bizarre fixie fashions, I saw a courier earlier this week who had his flat bars chopped so short he could barely fit his hands on them. Needless to say, steering the bike looked like a bit of a chore for him.

Necessary evil for squeezing between busses.

Chips Lovell

Sean_K wrote: »

Necessary evil for squeezing between busses.

The guy's hips were probably about four times the width of his bars. If he managed to squeeze the handlbars through, his arse would be jammed between the busses.

lukester

Sean_K wrote: »

Necessary evil for squeezing between busses.

Bruno says 'Ich don't think so'. Not unless your shoulders or hips measure only 4 inches across.

The uber narrow bars are a fashion statement, nothing else.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

My Name is Mario wrote: »

The guy's hips were probably about four times the width of his bars. If he managed to squeeze the handlbars through, his arse would be jammed between the busses.

lol, I was joking.

Ultimately I think the 2 primary subsections of amateur (non-POB) cycling boil down to two things with a common aspiration: to be like the professionals.

On one side you've got the Euro-saps in Lycra aspiring to be Eddy Merckx and on the other side you've got the fashion victims who just want be like the couriers.

The sides are irreconcilable.

Raam

Sean_K wrote: »

lol, I was joking.

Ultimately I think the 2 primary subsections of amateur (non-POB) cycling boil down to two things with a common aspiration: to be like the professionals.

On one side you've got the Euro-saps in Lycra aspiring to be Eddy Merckx and on the other side you've got the fashion victims who just want be like the couriers.

The sides are irreconcilable.

Eddie Merckx is a very handsome man.

Chips Lovell

Sean_K wrote: »

...to be like the professionals...

He was a professional. Unless there are some sort of professional fixie riders that aren't couriers.

rottenhat

If a man can't aspire to be Eddy Merckx, what is there left to live for?

Thomas_S_Hunterson

My Name is Mario wrote: »

He was a professional. Unless there are some sort of professional fixie riders that aren't couriers.

Then maybe he knows something you don't:p

Nah lines get blurred here and there.

copacetic

It's a good article and I agree with a lot of it, however this fixie/fashion craze seems to be building an interest in cycling as 'cool' with like the kids again, so no harm there.

A few friends who used to give me a hard time back in the day when I cycled everywhere are now into fixies/single speeds. They now give me a hard time that my bikes aren't cool enough! I give them a hard time about being fashion/fad victims, but it's good to seem them out on bikes.

flickerx

white apples wrote: »

"Fixed-gear bicycles are the scourge of modern bike fashion. Actually, fixies are almost nothing but fashion. If you took a swaying, brainless, gazelle-like catwalk model and turned her into a bike, a fixie is what you’d get.
It’s not enough that these cred-machines don’t even work well as city bikes — their track-bike heritage means that they have but one gear, no freewheel and no brakes — no, the riders have to take things even further and load up their rides with all manner of style-mandated extras. In fact, so much like a cult is the fixie "movement" that we wouldn’t be surprised to see the FBI get involved, right before the whole fixie underground goes up in flames, barricaded into a San Fransisco coffee shop and dressed in ironic T-shirts. Here is a list of the five worst fixie fashion faux pas:"

Full Article

Ha! Then the very next day the sap posts up an article with questions on how to build one. Moron.

niceonetom

Am I the only one who found the article very unoriginal and derivative?

Sean_K wrote: »

lOn one side you've got the Euro-saps in Lycra aspiring to be Eddy Merckx and on the other side you've got the fashion victims who just want be like the couriers.

The sides are irreconcilable.

Au contraire, mon frere. The 'sides' overlap significantly (and locally too), I could easily be confused for a hipster douchtard on my (toptubepadless) fixie and am proud to be a euro-sap in lycra while out in the hills.

I'm just glad I'm out there riding my bike tbh.

blorg

niceonetom wrote: »

Au contraire, mon frere. The 'sides' overlap significantly (and locally too), I could easily be confused for a hipster douchtard on my (toptubeless) fixie and am proud to be a euro-sap in lycra while out in the hills.

?

Raam

ha ha, Tom rides a girls bike.

blorg

flickerx wrote: »

Ha! Then the very next day the sap posts up an article with questions on how to build one. Moron.

I think the first one was tongue-in-cheek... You have been in North America too long

niceonetom

d'oh

NeilMcEoigheann

Big Dick wrote: »

It's gas seeing top tube pads on fixies without drops.

i always thought they were for making your top tube more comfortable to sit/lean against when your chilling about with your other fashionable fixie friends...

flickerx

blorg wrote: »

I think the first one was tongue-in-cheek... You have been in North America too long

I didnt think Americans were able to do tongue in cheek.

flickerx

Oh, he says his town is Barcelona.

Makes no odds. The original article was pretty stupid, tongue in cheek or not. Big deal, people put things on their bikes to personalise them.

blorg

flickerx wrote: »

The original article was pretty stupid, tongue in cheek or not. Big deal, people put things on their bikes to personalise them.

I think part of the point was that people all put the same things on their bikes to personalise them Things which may have had some practical use in the past but which are now adopted blindly for reasons of fashion. You can hardly argue that Deep Vs or a front aerospoke is adding to your individuality.

I personalised mine with a rack, mudguards and a bar bag- now that is something quite rare yet practical (look away now if you are of a sensitive disposition or have any aesthetic sensibilities.)



Will you admit that the sight of these bikes evokes a visceral reaction in your stomach? A sense of deep WRONGness?

TinyExplosions

flickerx wrote: »

I didnt think Americans were able to do tongue in cheek.

They can, but I think they prefer foot in mouth

Lumen

flickerx wrote: »

Ha! Then the very next day the sap posts up an article with questions on how to build one. Moron.

As usual, Bike Snob NYC has it covered :-)