Playing games with me (or is she?)

LegacyUser

Hi,

I had been seeing a girl I work with for the past 2 months. It started off great and then about 6 weeks into it I sensed that she was losing interest. We were having sex alot less, she stopped initiating texts (whereas she always used to), if we would chat on msn she'd just seem less interested in general (she used to always msn if she was online as soon as I came on, it was then me who always had to initiate, and she'd reply with short answers etc).

I guess it's because I was a little clingy. Not in the always ringing/texting her kind of way but I always made myself available to her, and we would always go to her place etc. And I've seen this happen before where women lose interest once a man becomes too available. And the last few times I stayed at her place she seemed pretty distant and didn't seem interested in cuddling, whereas a month ago I couldn't chisel her off me in bed.

So anyway I googled it and it was pretty clear she was losing interest in things. I decided that we should take a break for 2 weeks. I did this for a number of reasons.

1. I was getting pissed off with my fondness for her not being reciprocated
2. I had taken 2 weeks off from work in order to finish a college thesis before a deadline, which would make it easy for us not to see each other.
3. To give her a chance to miss me.
4. I felt that if we didn't take a break, the way it was going we would break up anyway, so I had nothing to lose.

I told her on sunday night, that I wouldn't be working for a couple of weeks, that I was stressed about college stuff and needed to get it out of the way. i would come back in two weeks and see how we both feel. I stressed to her that I was NOT dumping her. I stayed in hers that night (where she was distant as usual), and left on the monday.

I havn't texted her or msn'd her at all. She texted me last night (for the first time in a while) saying "Hows things down in X". (X the town I live in).

I replied "Yeah good Just v busy"

She then texted me back saying "Good. Could you do me a favor and send me pauls number". Paul is a guy we both work with. Nice guy and they get along etc.

It was weird because she was in work at the time, and could have easily just asked the manager or assistant manager for his number, as they were both there, so she was obviously trying to get me jealous. I just replied with the number and nothing else, and that was that.

Now she keeps updating her facebook with stuff like "it's all lookin good yayyy ))))"

and her msn status as "yeayyyy its all good"

The thing is she only used msn to talk to me so the only person who would see it is me, as I've seen that she has no other friends who use it.


So am I reading too much into things or is she just a headfcuk and I should stay away. If we were to split it could be pretty awkward working together, as we work in a bar and I know she would try to make me jealous. I generally just act like I don't give a sh1t now though. She knows I would have no problems meeting other girls, but I actually like this girl belive it or not.

extra info:
I'm 22 and shes 24
Although we're only seeing each other 2 months, as we work together it got serious pretty quickly, and we were exclusive within 2 weeks.

Otis Driftwood

No offence mate but it sounds like both of you need to grow up.

shellyboo

Yep, she's playing games with you.

But you're also playing games with her.

So, quit it. Be upfront. Decide what you want, tell her that. Don't put up with her messing. If she can't conduct a relationship like an adult, don't be in one with her. But you have to set the pace - you're messing her around with this "break" crap, when you don't actually want a break at all, you just want her to think you do because you think you were too keen.

My head hurts even thinking about it. Really... decide what you want, and just tell her that, straight.

Oh The Humanity

is she just a headfcuk

Yep.

As for the two week break stuff, ah.....thats just silly. You cant take convenient breaks from relationships imho. Its either on or its off.

If she was acting distant/blowing hot and cold you should have confronted her about it.

All this cloak and dagger stuff, pretending to ignore her but checking her status online and her with the stupid have you got Pauls number phone call. Cringe!

LegacyUser

I talked to her about it. Turned out it was just a big misunderstanding, and we're back together.

We agreed not to play games, be honest with each other and tell each other if something is bothering us.

She also wasn't losing interest, but was pissed off with me for something I had done, and actually thought I was losing interest.

It's scary how dangerous games are and misunderstandings, as we definitely would have split if I didn't say anything to her.

So relieved and glad I posted, and feel that this has made us alot closer. I've definitely learned from this. Thanks for your advice.