Boyfriend problem

Bluebluesky

I know this is not the right way to go about asking a Q but I do not know how to start a thread I am new to all this can someone help me?

My question is this, I was dating a guy on and off for a few months and we are no longer seeing each other. It was in no means serious but he has an item of jewellery belonging to me, although it is not hugely expensive (in and around €200) I would like it back. There was no "break up" as such as I said it was nothing serious and I dont understand why I am having trouble from him now when I want this item back. I even went so far as to suggest that I would have a courier collect it from his work thinking that would make it convenient...

He is ignoring texts and calls from me. Is there anything I can do???

dr.bollocko

Moved from AH

star-pants

Do you know where he works/lives?

You could also get a solicitor type letter sent out to him.

Bluebluesky

Yeah I know where he lives and works and I have messages on my phone where he is admitting to having it. This was when I left it at his a few weeks ago. Then there is one from him asking me for my work address so he could courier to me. Now he is pretending he knows nothing of it. I wonder if I knocked into the cop shop on the way home would they help me. I am sure a phone call to hiim from them would do it....

star-pants

They may not get involved tbh, however there's no harm in showing them the texts, making a log of the situation.
I would suggest telling him that if he doesn't return it to you pronto that he'll be hearing from your solicitor.

Bluebluesky

Well u never know it is stealing after all. I remember years ago my boyf shared a house with a few girls and one of them stole his phone, when he discovered it he called into the garda station in Donnybrook and they were only glad to help. Thanks for your advice. I am just so angry. The only reason he is doing this is cause he knows it means alot to me. Anyhow another nutter to add to the list.

star-pants

Best of luck, he does sound like hes just being immature about it.

StormWarrior

If I was you I would send him a text along these lines:
"Look, I want my jewelry back. I still have the texts on my phone where you admit you have it, so please return it or I will have to involve the police."

SarahSassy

€200 is a lot of money...

You contact him via the small claims court which deals with cases up to c300 (I think) seeing as he is ignoring you. Do you have any mutual acquaintances who could talk sense into him.

Bluebluesky

Hmmm I tried sending a text along those lines and I got a response, not a good one, just said. "You are mad I don't know what you are talking about" Lovely! I am even angrier now and have decideded that I am no longer going to contact him but nip into the station at Ringsend on my way home from work tonight and ask for advice.

€200 is alot of money and it is prob one of the more expensive items I own. What a mess.

bluecell99

Yes stick to your plan and get the policed involved.It's called larceny by trick and the last time I heard it is a criminal offence subject to arrest and charge.Might make him see sense when he is going to get a criminal conviction.

StormWarrior

Bluebluesky, do let us know how you got on and don't forget to take your phone to the police so you can show them the texts.

Maybe he has lost or sold it and that's why he's pretending he never had it!

KildareCross

Id say he prob thinks your using this jewellery as an excuse to talk to him. Maybe he's with someone now and thats why he is pretending not to know anything. Cos the whole world revoles around him he sounds to be very immature your better off without.... I agree you should call into the gaurds on the way home and make sure they give him a call, dont let them brush you off either.

Bluebluesky

StormWarrior wrote: »

Bluebluesky, do let us know how you got on and don't forget to take your phone to the police so you can show them the texts.

Maybe he has lost or sold it and that's why he's pretending he never had it!

I will keep you guys informed

My God the bloody cheek of him I knew he was a bit odd and highly strung makes me so glad I got outta that one.

I doubt he sold or lost it he knows that it means alot to me and is trying to get to me.

Bluebluesky

KildareCross wrote: »

Id say he prob thinks your using this jewellery as an excuse to talk to him. Maybe he's with someone now and thats why he is pretending not to know anything. Cos the whole world revoles around him he sounds to be very immature your better off without.... I agree you should call into the gaurds on the way home and make sure they give him a call, dont let them brush you off either.

I was really wary that he may think that hence why I have not exactly hounded him just a few texts straight to the point. I hope he is with someone now maybe that will stop him calling me late at night by the way I NEVER answer) on those so called "booty calls" and thinking I am going to be the least bit interested

Worst comes to worst I have a cousin who is a garda and he might just make a call on my behalf. I will not let this go till I get it back!

prinz

Bluebluesky wrote: »

I will keep you guys informed

My God the bloody cheek of him I knew he was a bit odd and highly strung makes me so glad I got outta that one.

I doubt he sold or lost it he knows that it means alot to me and is trying to get to me.

Maybe he gave it to someone else? I know one chimp who gave something belonging to his ex, to his new gf. Classy lad that he was.

prinz

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Worst comes to worst I have a cousin who is a garda and he might just make a call on my behalf. I will not let this go till I get it back!

Please don't do that.It's inappropriate at best. It would put your cousin in an awkward situation. By all means involve the gardaí, but preferably at your local station.

Bluebluesky

prinz wrote: »

Maybe he gave it to someone else? I know one chimp who gave something belonging to his ex, to his new gf. Classy lad that he was.

Trust me this guy is not exactly a catch in any sense of the word, if he has managed in a couple of weeks to not only meet a girl but to be at present giving stage with her I will eat the pair of boxer shorts I have in the hotpress belonging to him lol!

Bluebluesky

prinz wrote: »

Please don't do that.It's inappropriate at best. It would put your cousin in an awkward situation. By all means involve the gardaí, but preferably at your local station.

Agreed apologies monent of madness clearly so inappropriate.

prinz

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Trust me this guy is not exactly a catch in any sense of the word, if he has managed in a couple of weeks to not only meet a girl but to be at present giving stage with her I will eat the pair of boxer shorts I have in the hotpress belonging to him lol!

heh :pac: fair enough.

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Agreed apologies monent of madness clearly so inappropriate.

No prob. Just know a close friend of mine has had a couple of instances of friends and family asking him to intervene in matters which do not concern him.It usually ends in hurt feelings, and bad atmosphere because he refuses.

People tend to forget, to them it's a speeding fine......... to him it would be putting his job on the line

Bluebluesky

Agreed I will never let that thought enter my head again, wish me luck am going to the station on the way home tonight!

prinz

Best of luck. Even if they can't get involved at this stage they will be able to tell you exactly the right course of action to take.

Bluebluesky

bluecell99 wrote: »

Yes stick to your plan and get the policed involved.It's called larceny by trick and the last time I heard it is a criminal offence subject to arrest and charge.Might make him see sense when he is going to get a criminal conviction.

Thanks so much Bluecell everyone I know is of the opinion that yes he is an a hole but there is not much I can do to recover it if he is unwilling. I needed that bit of back up. Appreciated.

Bluebluesky

prinz wrote: »

Best of luck. Even if they can't get involved at this stage they will be able to tell you exactly the right course of action to take.

Thanks will let you know tomorrow, altho am thinking I will give him one last chance to do the decent thing and send one more message warning him that I am going to take action on it tonight and see if that works I feel really embarassed having to go to the Garda over something that they may think is trivial.

Oryx

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Thanks will let you know tomorrow, altho am thinking I will give him one last chance to do the decent thing and send one more message warning him that I am going to take action on it tonight and see if that works I feel really embarassed having to go to the Garda over something that they may think is trivial.

I know texting is easier, but in cases like this an actual conversation can be worth ten thousand text words. It can be harder, but you might get your point across better. I always think texts are so easy to ignore or misunderstand.

Bluebluesky

Oryx wrote: »

I know texting is easier, but in cases like this an actual conversation can be worth ten thousand text words. It can be harder, but you might get your point across better. I always think texts are so easy to ignore or misunderstand.

Oryx the guy is an a hole and is ignoring all calls hence the texting

Oryx

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Oryx the guy is an a hole and is ignoring all calls hence the texting

Block your number?

Otherwise, dont be shy about involving the guards. Its not trivial to you. If someone took €200 out of your wallet, youd involve them. Good luck.

Zaph

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Thanks will let you know tomorrow, altho am thinking I will give him one last chance to do the decent thing and send one more message warning him that I am going to take action on it tonight and see if that works I feel really embarassed having to go to the Garda over something that they may think is trivial.

You've given him plenty of opportunities to return it to you and he hasn't, giving him one more chance isn't going to work either. stick to your original plan, go to the guards and ask for their help/advice. At least then you'll know where you stand.

Bluebluesky

Oryx wrote: »

Block your number?

Otherwise, dont be shy about involving the guards. Its not trivial to you. If someone took €200 out of your wallet, youd involve them. Good luck.

I am trying to contact him he is not hounding me to give it back so I don't think I need to block the number

BTW can you block a number if needed I thought it was impossible!

Bluebluesky

Ok sent a text.

"Hi ****, can you please ensure that you bring my watch to work with you to work tomorrow. I am going to send a courier to collect it after 10am. I have given the driver your name and mobile number in case he has difficulty finding it. If it is not ready for collection I will be calling to the local Garda station along with the texts on my phone where you admit to possession of it."

Bluebluesky

Ok I had a response. He says the watch will be available for collection from his work today. I have told him there will be a bike over to collect it after 10am

star-pants

Good woman -- see, he was just being a twit. Glad you're getting your watch back.

Bluebluesky

Ok not so good news. I am enraged! The courier just called to say that he went to reception at ****'s work and was told that he was away for a week. I had given his mobile number as a contact so I am not sure if the courier also talked to him but as I was on the phone to this courier guy I had a text to say. "sorry I forgot you were collecting the watch and I am home sick" That was all it said. WTF!

prinz

he's hoppin' the ball big time here. Call into the gardaí a.s.a.p., you've waisted enough time and effort and expense at this.

Bluebluesky

I know prinz thanks for all your advice, much appreciated. Thank you.

bluecell99

why did you back out of calling into the Police?you said you would.Do you want this solved or not?Can you not see he is stringing you along big time and will not respond till you act?You have been given the advice here and acknowledged it.Yet you refuse to follow through.I was just about to post when I saw your last response about backing out .

Ah well.Have a nice day.

Bluebluesky

Ok ok Ok please don't have a go at me I was giving the guy one last chance to do the right thing. Am on my way to the police station right now.

KildareCross

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Ok ok Ok please don't have a go at me I was giving the guy one last chance to do the right thing. Am on my way to the police station right now.

Well how did ye get on?? I hope you dont bak ck down

Bluebluesky

Well they suggested that I take his word for it that he is sick, they agree he is reluctant to send it back to me but had a chat and I said I will attempt one more time Monday to have it collected. If that is unsucessful they will step in.

Grand

prinz

Good stuff. tbh the next time you try i wouldnt even mention to him that you had gotten advice from the gardaí.

KildareCross

Bluebluesky wrote: »

Well they suggested that I take his word for it that he is sick, they agree he is reluctant to send it back to me but had a chat and I said I will attempt one more time Monday to have it collected. If that is unsucessful they will step in.

Grand

Good women, Best of Luck

StormWarrior

But if his work told you he's away for a week, will he be there on Monday? Can't you send the courier to his house to get it? Also, do you have to pay to hire the courier?

Bluebluesky

Yes I pay, i don't know if he will be in Monday...

star-pants

I suggest you text him and tell *him* to call the courier to collect the watch, that way if he's gonna bail ,at least you won't have the expense of the courier. If he doesnt bail, you can pay the courier.

Bluebluesky

I don't care who pays really but thanks I know what you mean. Basically the watch came from my to be husband. 4 1/2 years ago he was killed in a car accident. This guy knows the story behind the watch I wanted it back for obvious reasons but now i think that it will only ever remind me of this so it is so ruined. I luckily have many pieces of memorabilia but for now over and out and thank u so much for all ur help. xxx

star-pants

I'm sorry to hear that bbsky, and of course you want your watch back. The fact he knows how much the watch means to you also shows what a tool he's being.
I mean even if you pay for the courier, but if he calls for it, then it won't be a waste of a courier if you get me? He won't call a courier if he's not there like.

Good luck and I really hope you find someone who you deserve.

mardybum

Could you get a gang together of good freinds and descend on his doorstep? Knock on his door, say Look, enough is enough. Give my watch and Goodbye.?

Terodil

mardybum wrote: »

Could you get a gang together of good freinds and descend on his doorstep? Knock on his door, say Look, enough is enough. Give my watch and Goodbye.?

Is this a joke?! Last I looked, this was Ireland, not Sicilia.

Call the Gardai, be done with it.

mardybum

Why is that a joke? Instead of messing around with couriers, just go to the guys house. You have a couple of people with you as witnessess if he's a asshole about it. I didn't mean get the biggest badasses you know to rough him up, just some friends for moral support.

As the OP seemed so hesitant about going to the gairdai in the first place... and when she did they weren't exactly falling over themselves to help her out, maybe that's what she should have done in the first place. It seems like the most straightforward course of action.

Nickibaby*

I hope you get it back Bluebluesky. At the start I thought you were over reacting a little but it holds such sentimental value! Cannot believe this guy keeping it and him knowing the story behind it :mad:

Count your blessings you got rid of this guy! What a p***k

TheZohanS

It sounds as if the watch is just a small part of the issue here.

You say it was never serious and yet the title of the thread is "Boyfriend problem"


If you play hardball with this guy then you will have to prove tht you left your watch in his place, it will be your word against his.

Can you not just forget about it, cut your losses and move on?