How do "go for it" with her

LegacyUser

Hi,
Over the past few years I have often been bumping into a girl on a night out, were both in our late 20s now, I mean on average about once or twice a year we'd meet, anyway she'd had a long term boyfriend over that time, I was also sometimes seeing different people so it was only a bit of flirting.

Anyway she has since broken up with him, I met her about 7 or 8 months ago out when she told me, and alas , we got on way better, went back to a party , etc but we never kissed or anything, so it was more like we were good friends.

Now 2 weeks ago I met her again, shes still single, and she was having a few people back to hers after the club so she said for me to come, we were doing a good bit of dancing and flirting before hand. Her friend told me she was into me too that night, she was slagging me too saying stuff like "are you going back with the girldfriend?" etc, so naturally thought I would we'd get together but it didnt happen. Its the kind of situation where friends (both my male and female friends) were saying to me "WHY THE FVCK DIDNT YOU GO FOR IT????"


It was strange, usually a girl that likes you (or you think likes you) will respond even if you just do stuff like put your hand slightly on her leg or around her or something, but she never really did and it made me kinda feel strange or uncomfortable. Its like she wasn't advancing herself further, but she didnt go away from me either,but I just kind of left it and we had a laugh,

Ok Im probably sounding like a childish cocky sleaze here, but in fact its the opposite, I dont often get with women and I did have an honest genuine reason to believe she liked me. I wasnt being a weirdo or anything dont worry.

But even when I was going away she kinda seemed disappointed and even a bit confused, very confusing.

Any advice from any ladies or lads here?

Am I just being childish, should I have just said "are you into me?"(cmon you have to admit thats easier to write here than do in person)

Is she just not into me maybe and im completely reading it wrongly?

Am I just bad at pulling?

Otis Driftwood

From the way your post reads she does seem interested.The fact she didnt reciprocate your advances could be to do with the fact she isnt that used to being "chatted up" (I hate that term BTW,just cant think of a better way to phrase it)
She was in a long term relationship so it unlikely she encountered much of it in the recent past and when she did she just had to say she had a fella and wasnt interested.Maybe she wasnt sure of your intentions - they were a little obtuse in fairness.
If you havnt got her number already get it off one of her buddies,call her - dont text - and ask her out for a drink.

beks101

Sounds to me like she's just shy.

Some girls are like that, myself included. It'd generally take a bit more than a brush on the knee or a casual arm thrown around my shoulder for me to get with someone and maybe as already mentioned, she's not used to someone putting the moves on her!;);)

Keep at it, it seems to me like she's interested and might just want to get to know you a little better before jumping your bones! Best of luck

star-pants

She might have just been shy / unsure if you liked her.
If she's been in a longterm relationship she might be still a bit unused to new interactions.

As someone suggested - get her number off a friend, call her & ask her out for dinner or something. See how that goes

LegacyUser

Yea I met a girl before who was out of a long term relationship and hadnt a clue whether I was coming or going with her. Like that her friend kept slagging me asking "did I love her" etc "when are you gonna have babies", just banter so I took it the girl liked me. Anyway whenever I did make a move closer just to gauge her reaction I never really got one form her but then she would follow me or only talk to me when in a group. I eventually just asked her outright was she interested and she said yes but that she hadnt been single in a long time and didnt know what to do!!

I know a few people are saying this could be the case with you but I would sort of think since she has been single around a year or so she should know the game and sure do you ever really lose it anyway. She sounds just a little shy to me and possibly unsure if you feel the same. Next time you see her just come out with it. It is easier said than done but sure nothing ventured nothing gained. If you cant ask her just ask one of her friends.

Saucey-Susie

just go for it!

Wibbs

Saucey-Susie wrote: »

just go for it!

Pretty much. Don't overthink this stuff. That way lies disaster. Ask her out on an obvious "just the two of you" date. Not the cinema, a meal or some such. The longer you leave this the less a good bet you look and friendzone beckons. Understandable too as you've dilly dallied around too long and not put yourself in the picture. And don't rely on her to sense your intentions, show her your intentions.

LegacyUser

Go for it man, it sounds like a sure thing , but you can't allow the line to get slack .You have to amp up the attraction. Do whatever you have to do to get a result.


It took a while to figure out some women don't like their friends to see them "making out" . I had the very same experience with these twin sister's in Town . The girl was totally stand offish but I went to the mens and on the way back I met her and we went into a corner, she lost her shyness pretty quick.

Do something that is fun and something that you can initiate contact like ice skating (thats just off the top of my head).

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi,
Over the past few years I have often been bumping into a girl on a night out, were both in our late 20s now, I mean on average about once or twice a year we'd meet, anyway she'd had a long term boyfriend over that time, I was also sometimes seeing different people so it was only a bit of flirting.

Anyway she has since broken up with him, I met her about 7 or 8 months ago out when she told me, and alas , we got on way better, went back to a party , etc but we never kissed or anything, so it was more like we were good friends.

Now 2 weeks ago I met her again, shes still single, and she was having a few people back to hers after the club so she said for me to come, we were doing a good bit of dancing and flirting before hand. Her friend told me she was into me too that night, she was slagging me too saying stuff like "are you going back with the girldfriend?" etc, so naturally thought I would we'd get together but it didnt happen. Its the kind of situation where friends (both my male and female friends) were saying to me "WHY THE FVCK DIDNT YOU GO FOR IT????"


It was strange, usually a girl that likes you (or you think likes you) will respond even if you just do stuff like put your hand slightly on her leg or around her or something, but she never really did and it made me kinda feel strange or uncomfortable. Its like she wasn't advancing herself further, but she didnt go away from me either,but I just kind of left it and we had a laugh,

Ok Im probably sounding like a childish cocky sleaze here, but in fact its the opposite, I dont often get with women and I did have an honest genuine reason to believe she liked me. I wasnt being a weirdo or anything dont worry.

But even when I was going away she kinda seemed disappointed and even a bit confused, very confusing.

Any advice from any ladies or lads here?

Am I just being childish, should I have just said "are you into me?"(cmon you have to admit thats easier to write here than do in person)

Is she just not into me maybe and im completely reading it wrongly?

Am I just bad at pulling?

You are probably not bad at pulling but you may not be esculating at the right moments. If you were to kiss her and she'd pull away and you would read her as not being interested and give up when in reality she might not just be ready for it. Women are crazy like that and that's why they are so fascinating and alluring.