Getting mixed (no) signals from a girl

LegacyUser

Ok folks, would rather go anonymous for this one if possible. This problems being causing me some anguish for the last week and a half. Its a really long winded story but I'll try cut it as short as possible. Any help is much appreciated.

About four years ago I went out drinking with my cousin (lets call him Mick), his boss (lets call him Frank) and his bosses niece (lets call her Stacey). I obviously knew my cousin before that night and his boss also (although not very well) but not his niece. Got chatting to her for a while... all grand and hunkey dorey. We all had a good enough night. I was driving, dropped them all home, all fine and well and was on my way home after when I got a buzz from my cousin saying his bosses niece texted him and asked him would he pass on my number to her. Being quite honest didn't think a hell of a lot of it and was tired also so said yeah whatever. Had being talking to her about music and was telling her the names of some albums I had which she liked, and which I said I'd burn for her and try to get to her at some point so assumed it may have being something to do with that.

Howsever, although quite innocent at first it turned out from the texts that she was pretty interested me and being honest I was totally flattered but all the same didn't put too much pass on it. Reason being, I knew that she was young and she had only being drinking 7up that night, which was kind of a give away. Told Mick the next day and he moreless politely told me it would be best not to text her as she was only 16, me being 24 odd at the time. I said to myself oh my God and told Stacey that nothing would happen under the circumstances.

That was grand, she kind of accepted it at first but soon enough it was clear that her agenda involved hooking up. I repeatedly told her we could never happen but she didn't really take much heed. I did tell her too that she was a very nice girl and she should have no problem finding a fella her own age, which I suppose was a bad idea on my part. Howsever, then her texts got fairly suggestive, which I did not entertain in any regard. Then in the meantime her uncle found out and the sh!t really hit the fan. He relayed the message back through Mick to tell me to stop texting Stacey. At this point I was telling her the texting seriously needed to stop as I was getting serious grief from her uncle through my cousin. He would ring me every half an hour pleading with me to stop texting Stacey due to the backlash he was getting from Frank and for peace sake and she was texting me every 10 minutes. Eventually (after a few days of it) I bit the bullet and stopped texting her full stop, although I didn't like the thought of hurting her feelings. After a few texts from her for the following few days to which I didn't reply the texting stopped for about six months. Then one day she texted me and I replied. We have being texting pretty much since, sometimes frequently, other times not, sometimes her texts would be suggestive, other times not.

In the meantime also (about 2 years ago) there was a serious bust up between my cousin and her uncle. He doesn't work for him since and they don't speak. In fact fair to say theres no love lost whatsever.

A few weeks back I was out drinking and met Stacey. She was saying how the fella shes going with is treating her really bad and she wished things could have being different between us and how she always had really strong feelings for me. Didn't make a move or anything but she said she'd dump her boyfriend straight away if there was a chance of something happening between us. Call it stupid on my part if you will but I agreed. We met up the following weekend (about 10 days ago). Were chatting and getting on great, even one of her friends said to me, will you make a move with Stacey for godsake. In the meantime who came into the niteclub but her uncle. Was chatting away to him for a while and he seemed alright with me. Stacey told me then that she mentioned to him if it was alright if I stay in her and her friends company as my friend had met a girl and I was at a loose end to which she said he didn't have a problem with as long as she didn't talk to Mick. Was walking up the street after alone with her and made a move. Although she did kiss me back it was half heartdly in case her boyfriend or one of his friends (who she hadn't broke up with since) seen her. She was kind of withdrawn after but chatting away all the same. I flagged down a taxi for her and gave her a peck in the cheek and said night. Got a text a while later that night saying what happened shouldn't have happened as she could have got in serious trouble if she was seen and that she'd text me tomorrow. Never heard from her since though. Sent her a text or 2 asking her what the story was, I'd like to maybe make a go of it and to let me know one way or another but no reply.

So what happened? I'm half thinking her uncle told her something about me or made up something about me. Although I was out drinking with him a few times since and even after the bust up with my cousin he would have no real dirt on me. Contact between us had moreless completely petered out in the last year if not more. Otherwise did she realise she wanted to stay with her boyfriend maybe. Or maybe its simply because unknown to me I have really bad butt breath? Maybe its all or none of the above. Anyone got any pointers?

I understand also that her being nearly 21 and me being 28 is not ideal, almost perverted I'm sometimes telling myself. The fact that there is now such bad blood between my cousin and her unce makes it difficult also.

Otis Driftwood

First off,its not perverted in the slightest,ye are both adults.

What I will say is that she sounds like a confused little girl and I would avoid her like the plague.Telling you she would dump her boyfriend for you then behaving coyly smacks of an attention seeker.If I was you I would delete her number and forget about her,this has trouble written all over it.

easyeason3

It's a small age difference within reason. If she was a few years older then I'd say there would be no problem but at 21 I have a funny feeling she doesn't know what she wants.
From what you have said I would nearly put money on her either moving on or the uncle running you & your cousin into the ground. Which basically means move on.
For something that never really happened you seem to be putting an awful lot of thought & worry into this.

star-pants

I'm afraid I have to agree with the other posters,
she seems very unsure of what she wants. She's perhaps had this image of you built up from when she first got to know you, and maybe when she finally kissed you it wasn't what she thought (no offence meant to you in the slightest btw). If she was having a bad time with her boyfriend & thought you might be her knight to rescue her.
But as you said, maybe she's decided to give things a go.

Personally if someone said they'd leave their OH for me if I gave them the go ahead -- I would run away. I don't do cheating on either side, and a good majority of the time it's a bad way to start a relationship. If she wanted out, she should have just dumped him, not ony thought about it once she'd her foot on the next guy.

She *is* young, in the sense she's a lot of emotional growing to do by the sounds of it. And it might just be pure drama for you at this point. If she's let the texts/contact fizzle out, just go with it, and find another lady who know's what she wants.

Kimia

She's a drama queen.

Move on - you will do much better. Why are you entertaining this nutter?

LegacyUser

Em your first mistake was entertaining her texts when she was 16....what 24 year old does that!!! Anyway, as others have said she sounds like an insecure attention seeker who hasnt a clue what she wants and the fact she was so easily willing to dump her boyfriend for you was a big red flag in my opinion. Maybe she was just all games and talk and when it actually came down to it and you kissed her she was really just a scared little girl. Get over her and move on.