My dad is looking at porn

LegacyUser

Okay, I just want to see if I'm being a prude about this or if i'm right to feel uncomfortable about this.

I'm temporarily staying with my parents while i look for a job etc. and I haven't lived at home long-term for a very long time. I don't feel completely comfortable with this situation as it is but this morning I was messing around with his laptop and found porn videos saved. It's only my parents living at home and as he is the only man living here, it's definitely his (some of it was downloaded in the past few days). I wanted to vomit when i saw it. My dad is not a young man...he's almost 70 and the stuff he was looking at was fairly disgusting. I don't want to go into too much detail because although i'm not registered, I still feel very embarassed by this. I have my own personal views on porn i.e: boyfriends and friends can look at what they like but I don't want to know about it. It's one thing finding porn on your brother's laptop but your dad!! My dad is so far from a creepy, sleazy old man that this situation is almost comical...but it's not. I don't think I can ever feel comfortable around him again knowing what he looks at and does when we're gone to bed. This situation makes me feel sick to the stomach and slightly confused. Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

I'm curious to know how others would others feel about this?

Thanks lads.

Nevyn

Firstly why were you messing about on his laptop?
Why would he have to hide what he has been downloading on his laptop?

If you have permission to use his laptop set up a seperate profile, be gratefull you have been allowed use it and respect his privacy.

Just beacuse your dad is a certain age and is a dad does not mean he has stopped being a man.

cowzerp

He's a Man with interests and that did not change when he became a dad.
leave it out, im sure he does not know everything about your sexual likes/dislikes etc..

MissFlitworth

Could be your mam's either...

I had a similar situation when I moved home for a while after college, my mam's partner didn't realise that when he was looking at porn online his history was saved for all the world to see, wouldn't have occurred to him to clean up his tracks cos he didn't realise there were any there. It squicked me out something rotten. In fairness though- it was his home and his laptop and none of my business. Best plan is to keep away from it and respect your parent's privacy. Pretend that your parents don't have a sex life or any interest in anything bold, like they do for you!

LegacyUser

It's a communal laptop and it's also the house computer. This is not about privacy...this computer is sitting there for EVERYONE to use...including his wife. I was saving a video of me and a friend on our holidays and came upon the videos, which were not in a private folder, just in the general videos folder. If it was a seperate folder for his stuff, then I wouldn't have touched it. I'm not the prying type but I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from?

Stop going through someone's personal belongings just to be disgusted at what you find. I would be annoyed if my privacy was invaded that way.
Why should he have to "hide his tracks" on HIS laptop ??
Cop on and grow up and mind your own business in future
:mad:

brendansmith

oh Jesus.... wrote: »

.he's almost 70 = Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

Older people dont usually know how to delete cookies etc, id say he also has no idea that people can look at what he has been looking at on his computer.

Leave him at it and dont go saying it to him or anyone for that matter, men like porn. Hes not hurting anyone.

Mountjoy Mugger

I applaud the man for being so knowledgeable on the use of a laptop and the use of the internet to find such stuff.

Give him a break ffs, as Thaedydal said "Why were you messing about on his laptop?" ,

How did you find it exactly? Was it all over the desktop or did you have a rummage on the hard drive to see what was there?

Serves you right!

LegacyUser

Firstly I have one word for you, but it's an important one:

CURIOSITY

If you find a link to menstural dwarf sex (or whatever) in your o/h's history folder, this doesn't necessarily mean he is really getting off on it.

Secondly, I would say that the vast majority of lads like watching pr0n, or at the very least do not dislike it. Your dad has, after seventy years, just realised the main reason why we all love the internet so much . Back in the day you'd be lucky to catch a glimpse of a petticoat or whatever.

While thinking about this is as nasty as thinking about your parents doing it, I really don't see the harm.

I bet he watches bravo as well.

Creamy Goodness

you've a very distorted view of porn in my opinion.

it's ok for boyfriends and friends to look at it, but a 70 year old man? is a no no.

plus i absolutely agree with Thaed, be grateful he's allowing you to use his laptop and respect his privacy.

would you like it if he picked up your mobile and searched through your messages? i don't think so, yet it's the same principle.

Beruthiel

oh Jesus.... wrote: »

It's one thing finding porn on your brother's laptop but your dad!! My dad is so far from a creepy, sleazy old man that this situation is almost comical...but it's not. I don't think I can ever feel comfortable around him again knowing what he looks at and does when we're gone to bed. This situation makes me feel sick to the stomach and slightly confused. Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

Welcome to the world of finding out that your father is a sexual human being like the rest of us. He's 70, he's not dead. And if you didn't want to know about his sexual needs, you shouldn't have went looking.

You feeling sick about it says more about you than it does your father.
Also, how does looking at porn equate to being creepy and sleazy?
Might I suggest you look at your own attitudes and tolerances.
You don't have the right to judge your father. Take a look at yourself instead.

LegacyUser

It was NOT in the internet history, it was in the videos folder. And it wasn't so much the porn itself, if he was looking at normal, run of the mill stuff, grand but it wasn't. My mother HATES porn, she has very strong feelings on it..i'm moving out in a while but how do i know she won't find it? It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

Dravokivich

brendansmith wrote: »

Older people dont usually know how to delete Leave him at it and dont go saying it to him or anyone for that matter, men like porn. Hes not hurting anyone.

d'pends on the content of the porn, OP did state that they saw something they thought was digusting so my mind is trailing along the idea that their fathers porn collection is not just sex.

wandatowell

Man + Computer + Internet = skank

Its a fact of life.

MissFlitworth

Unregistered wrote: »

nMy mother HATES porn, she has very strong feelings on it..i'm moving out in a while but how do i know she won't find it? It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

It's absolutely none of your business, not your relationship to worry about.

Slow Motion

OP if it was child pron or snuff movies or videos depicting actual crimes then report it to the Gards, if it wasn't then ignore it. If you are worried about your mother finding it, sign him up for a course in how to use the internet, ECDL for example, that way he can learn how to use the internet without leaving embaressing data on the laptop, also if it is a communal laptop you might explain how to use folders, profiles etc without referring to what he might use them for, it is simple houskeeping when more than one user uses a computer! OR else just pretend it never happened!

LegacyUser

In all fairness it would be a bit of a shock to find this stuff on your older parents computer if you were just saving something.. If your looking through histories, emails, personal folders etc. you dont have a right to be shocked but i mean, come on. The OP knows her motherd feelings on porn and might be a little hurt for her knowing her afther is looking it up on the family computer regardless and leaving the evidence for her to see.

What your views on porn are you've got to understand that every person is a sexual being(excuse that awful phrase including (and most obviously) parents. That doesnt turn off when you hit a certain age, your still an individual first, parent second, grandfather whatever...

I can understand the issues with it being so accessable for your mother to see, if there was a way to let him know it was so findable on the computer without an embarrassing situation maybe..

delly

OP, I'm sorry to tell you this, but 97% of men from teenage years upwards look at and enjoy porn. Men who are single, men who are married, men who are grandparents.

Its unfortunate for you that this man happens to be your father, but I think he's earned the right to check out some porn what with his 70 years of life experience. For all you know your parents might not be able to have sex and he's venting his sexual frustrations in this way. But then again why should you know anything about your parents sex life, its there personal business.

At the end of the day OP, unless your talking necrophilia or bestiality, then I think you should put this out of your mind. If your mother discovers the files and wants to confront your father then its up to her. There big and bold enough to discuss there relationship between themselves I think.

Oh The Humanity

It's a communal laptop and it's also the house computer. This is not about privacy...this computer is sitting there for EVERYONE to use

Well then, you dont know who downloaded it!

Look, anyway it doesn't really matter. Its his puter and his house, he's been good enough to let you stay there so do the decent thing and pretend you never saw it.

As for your Mam, she is a big girl now and Im sure she will cope!

LegacyUser

In fairness, to say i have a very distorted view of porn is a bit of a contradiction in my opinion...some porn leaves some men with a distorted view of sex but this is a debate that's been done to death here. Not everybody thinks looking at this type of porn is completely normal and I am entitled to feel this way. Regardless of my own personal feminist issues with THIS type of porn (no, not child or snuff porn)...and if i'm to be honest, i've looked at porn in the past (and saved it to my own personal folder on my own personal computer) but nothing as hardcore as what my dad is looking at...I still feel uncomfortable that he's not more private about it. He's on the internet in the bleedin' kitchen for crying out loud! My mother OR myself could walk in on him. I'm well aware my dad is human and a man (duh!) but Jesus, i can't get the images out of my head!

As well as this, my brother lived in the house 'till about 5 years ago and was downloading porn and the computer kept getting infected with viruses....there was a huge deal made about it by both my mother AND father and my brother was mortified by the idea of his parents knowing he was looking at porn. This is hypocritical. I know it sounds like i'm exaggerating but I still feel sickened by what I saw today and the images that spring to mind. Bluh!

Dublin_Gunner

You said only your mam & dad lived there before you moved back home - hardly a communal setting.

How about he had a look through your closet and found kinky outfits and arm sized dildo's? How would you feel (or him)?

I know what I stated may not be the case, but you get the idea. Its invasion of privacy, end of, and you should treat it as such - regardless of what idea's you had of your father being all angelic and not like every other man around.

Its his laptop, his porn. Let it be. Your dad was probably looking at porn before you were even a stain on the bed sheet.

It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

How do you know your mum even uses the laptop that much? If it was that easy to find, I'm pretty sure she would have seen it there before, as I doubt he's only recently started to download it.

Hell, your mam might even like it

You don't know what they get up to when you're not there, and you shouldn't. Thats their private life. They could be up to all sorts and you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

Get over it, and pretend it never happened.

LegacyUser

No, i've no intention of tellling my mother, she'd be devastated. They're an old-fashioned pair (or so I thought!). I'll try and get it out of my head but it'll be difficult to feel comfortable around him from now on...

nomorebadtown

I only hope i can handle teh P0rn at 70! leave your da alone ffs

calex71

As said if its Kiddy porn or something along those lines report him,

If it was gay porn he might have just been curious.

How many videos are we talking about OP???

Many have bashed you about snooping but im with you on the fact that it is a shared pc and if he's watching porn on it, it really should be hidden away so grand kids/wife/you etc cant see it.

At the end of the day that aside, i really dont see anything wrong with watching porn, unless it was two girls and one cup that was quite disturbing :eek:

CaptainSkidmark

finding out your dad is watching porn is like finding out your little sister is having sex with her boyfriend.

Not nice to know but thats life

sam34

as long as it doesnt involve kids or non-consenting adults, then it's not up to you to judge how "hardcore" his choice of porn is. people get off on different things, end of.

it's not nice to think of one's parents having sexual desires and drives, but really, tough luck OP.

you have no right to judge and certainly no right to confront him on it.

LegacyUser

You're going to have come right out & tell us exactly what type of porn your dad was looking at. Without the full details it's hard to make an impartial prognosis.

LegacyUser

If one finds out one's dad is looking at porn, it is a bit weird.

If he's looking at stuff that you find "bad" then surely that's weirder.

How many of those commenting here have found porn on the pc in their folks house?

Having found porn stuff on the communal pc in my folks house, I wasn't disgusted but like the OP, I was a bit put out that the history had not been deleted as my younger sisters use the computer and it would freak them out if they found out...

As for what to do, well, I did nothing other than delete the history and changed the settings so that the history would only last a day or whatever. I had thought about marking his cards as my mother would hit the roof if she found out (cos I remember when she caught him with a mag when I was younger), but decided to leave it as was.

aare

Look I totally understand that you must be squirming with discomfort after finding this, and you have all my sympathy...

But it still isn't any of your business, and you have to learn to let it go, without letting it affect your relationship with your parents too much.

Pity you can't just "unsee" it really?

Firetrap

OP, you're as well to stay out of it and say nothing. What good will it do? Your dad will feel embarrassed if he finds out that you know what he's been doing. Tell your mum and you'll cause problems with her. Ultimately, it is none of your business.

How do you know your dad hasn't been looking at porno videos for decades? Perhaps he has/had a secret stash of tapes hidden somewhere. The only difference now is that you know.

It's a shock to learn that your dad is a sexual being and likes looking at porn. I don't think it's shocking many other people on this thread to be honest - the only issue here is your attitude to porn and that it's your dad. Let's say someone else posted the same problem...what would you say then?

Hagar

What exactly were you trying to achieve by intruding on his privacy?
Speaking as a father of two sons, 23 + 15, I would go apeshyte if I found them interfering with my personal stuff. Not porn, nothing like that, just my stuff, it's mine leave it alone. I don't intrude on their privacy. I don't even turn on my wife's laptop, no sniggers please, it's none of my business. How would you feel if your da poked his nose into your stuff? Grow up. Learn to respect the boundaries of privacy.