My dad is looking at porn

LegacyUser

Okay, I just want to see if I'm being a prude about this or if i'm right to feel uncomfortable about this.

I'm temporarily staying with my parents while i look for a job etc. and I haven't lived at home long-term for a very long time. I don't feel completely comfortable with this situation as it is but this morning I was messing around with his laptop and found porn videos saved. It's only my parents living at home and as he is the only man living here, it's definitely his (some of it was downloaded in the past few days). I wanted to vomit when i saw it. My dad is not a young man...he's almost 70 and the stuff he was looking at was fairly disgusting. I don't want to go into too much detail because although i'm not registered, I still feel very embarassed by this. I have my own personal views on porn i.e: boyfriends and friends can look at what they like but I don't want to know about it. It's one thing finding porn on your brother's laptop but your dad!! My dad is so far from a creepy, sleazy old man that this situation is almost comical...but it's not. I don't think I can ever feel comfortable around him again knowing what he looks at and does when we're gone to bed. This situation makes me feel sick to the stomach and slightly confused. Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

I'm curious to know how others would others feel about this?

Thanks lads.

Nevyn

Firstly why were you messing about on his laptop?
Why would he have to hide what he has been downloading on his laptop?

If you have permission to use his laptop set up a seperate profile, be gratefull you have been allowed use it and respect his privacy.

Just beacuse your dad is a certain age and is a dad does not mean he has stopped being a man.

cowzerp

He's a Man with interests and that did not change when he became a dad.
leave it out, im sure he does not know everything about your sexual likes/dislikes etc..

MissFlitworth

Could be your mam's either...

I had a similar situation when I moved home for a while after college, my mam's partner didn't realise that when he was looking at porn online his history was saved for all the world to see, wouldn't have occurred to him to clean up his tracks cos he didn't realise there were any there. It squicked me out something rotten. In fairness though- it was his home and his laptop and none of my business. Best plan is to keep away from it and respect your parent's privacy. Pretend that your parents don't have a sex life or any interest in anything bold, like they do for you!

LegacyUser

It's a communal laptop and it's also the house computer. This is not about privacy...this computer is sitting there for EVERYONE to use...including his wife. I was saving a video of me and a friend on our holidays and came upon the videos, which were not in a private folder, just in the general videos folder. If it was a seperate folder for his stuff, then I wouldn't have touched it. I'm not the prying type but I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from?

Stop going through someone's personal belongings just to be disgusted at what you find. I would be annoyed if my privacy was invaded that way.
Why should he have to "hide his tracks" on HIS laptop ??
Cop on and grow up and mind your own business in future
:mad:

brendansmith

oh Jesus.... wrote: »

.he's almost 70 = Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

Older people dont usually know how to delete cookies etc, id say he also has no idea that people can look at what he has been looking at on his computer.

Leave him at it and dont go saying it to him or anyone for that matter, men like porn. Hes not hurting anyone.

Mountjoy Mugger

I applaud the man for being so knowledgeable on the use of a laptop and the use of the internet to find such stuff.

Give him a break ffs, as Thaedydal said "Why were you messing about on his laptop?" ,

How did you find it exactly? Was it all over the desktop or did you have a rummage on the hard drive to see what was there?

Serves you right!

LegacyUser

Firstly I have one word for you, but it's an important one:

CURIOSITY

If you find a link to menstural dwarf sex (or whatever) in your o/h's history folder, this doesn't necessarily mean he is really getting off on it.

Secondly, I would say that the vast majority of lads like watching pr0n, or at the very least do not dislike it. Your dad has, after seventy years, just realised the main reason why we all love the internet so much . Back in the day you'd be lucky to catch a glimpse of a petticoat or whatever.

While thinking about this is as nasty as thinking about your parents doing it, I really don't see the harm.

I bet he watches bravo as well.

Creamy Goodness

you've a very distorted view of porn in my opinion.

it's ok for boyfriends and friends to look at it, but a 70 year old man? is a no no.

plus i absolutely agree with Thaed, be grateful he's allowing you to use his laptop and respect his privacy.

would you like it if he picked up your mobile and searched through your messages? i don't think so, yet it's the same principle.

Beruthiel

oh Jesus.... wrote: »

It's one thing finding porn on your brother's laptop but your dad!! My dad is so far from a creepy, sleazy old man that this situation is almost comical...but it's not. I don't think I can ever feel comfortable around him again knowing what he looks at and does when we're gone to bed. This situation makes me feel sick to the stomach and slightly confused. Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

Welcome to the world of finding out that your father is a sexual human being like the rest of us. He's 70, he's not dead. And if you didn't want to know about his sexual needs, you shouldn't have went looking.

You feeling sick about it says more about you than it does your father.
Also, how does looking at porn equate to being creepy and sleazy?
Might I suggest you look at your own attitudes and tolerances.
You don't have the right to judge your father. Take a look at yourself instead.

LegacyUser

It was NOT in the internet history, it was in the videos folder. And it wasn't so much the porn itself, if he was looking at normal, run of the mill stuff, grand but it wasn't. My mother HATES porn, she has very strong feelings on it..i'm moving out in a while but how do i know she won't find it? It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

Dravokivich

brendansmith wrote: »

Older people dont usually know how to delete Leave him at it and dont go saying it to him or anyone for that matter, men like porn. Hes not hurting anyone.

d'pends on the content of the porn, OP did state that they saw something they thought was digusting so my mind is trailing along the idea that their fathers porn collection is not just sex.

wandatowell

Man + Computer + Internet = skank

Its a fact of life.

MissFlitworth

Unregistered wrote: »

nMy mother HATES porn, she has very strong feelings on it..i'm moving out in a while but how do i know she won't find it? It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

It's absolutely none of your business, not your relationship to worry about.

Slow Motion

OP if it was child pron or snuff movies or videos depicting actual crimes then report it to the Gards, if it wasn't then ignore it. If you are worried about your mother finding it, sign him up for a course in how to use the internet, ECDL for example, that way he can learn how to use the internet without leaving embaressing data on the laptop, also if it is a communal laptop you might explain how to use folders, profiles etc without referring to what he might use them for, it is simple houskeeping when more than one user uses a computer! OR else just pretend it never happened!

LegacyUser

In all fairness it would be a bit of a shock to find this stuff on your older parents computer if you were just saving something.. If your looking through histories, emails, personal folders etc. you dont have a right to be shocked but i mean, come on. The OP knows her motherd feelings on porn and might be a little hurt for her knowing her afther is looking it up on the family computer regardless and leaving the evidence for her to see.

What your views on porn are you've got to understand that every person is a sexual being(excuse that awful phrase including (and most obviously) parents. That doesnt turn off when you hit a certain age, your still an individual first, parent second, grandfather whatever...

I can understand the issues with it being so accessable for your mother to see, if there was a way to let him know it was so findable on the computer without an embarrassing situation maybe..

delly

OP, I'm sorry to tell you this, but 97% of men from teenage years upwards look at and enjoy porn. Men who are single, men who are married, men who are grandparents.

Its unfortunate for you that this man happens to be your father, but I think he's earned the right to check out some porn what with his 70 years of life experience. For all you know your parents might not be able to have sex and he's venting his sexual frustrations in this way. But then again why should you know anything about your parents sex life, its there personal business.

At the end of the day OP, unless your talking necrophilia or bestiality, then I think you should put this out of your mind. If your mother discovers the files and wants to confront your father then its up to her. There big and bold enough to discuss there relationship between themselves I think.

Oh The Humanity

It's a communal laptop and it's also the house computer. This is not about privacy...this computer is sitting there for EVERYONE to use

Well then, you dont know who downloaded it!

Look, anyway it doesn't really matter. Its his puter and his house, he's been good enough to let you stay there so do the decent thing and pretend you never saw it.

As for your Mam, she is a big girl now and Im sure she will cope!

LegacyUser

In fairness, to say i have a very distorted view of porn is a bit of a contradiction in my opinion...some porn leaves some men with a distorted view of sex but this is a debate that's been done to death here. Not everybody thinks looking at this type of porn is completely normal and I am entitled to feel this way. Regardless of my own personal feminist issues with THIS type of porn (no, not child or snuff porn)...and if i'm to be honest, i've looked at porn in the past (and saved it to my own personal folder on my own personal computer) but nothing as hardcore as what my dad is looking at...I still feel uncomfortable that he's not more private about it. He's on the internet in the bleedin' kitchen for crying out loud! My mother OR myself could walk in on him. I'm well aware my dad is human and a man (duh!) but Jesus, i can't get the images out of my head!

As well as this, my brother lived in the house 'till about 5 years ago and was downloading porn and the computer kept getting infected with viruses....there was a huge deal made about it by both my mother AND father and my brother was mortified by the idea of his parents knowing he was looking at porn. This is hypocritical. I know it sounds like i'm exaggerating but I still feel sickened by what I saw today and the images that spring to mind. Bluh!

Dublin_Gunner

You said only your mam & dad lived there before you moved back home - hardly a communal setting.

How about he had a look through your closet and found kinky outfits and arm sized dildo's? How would you feel (or him)?

I know what I stated may not be the case, but you get the idea. Its invasion of privacy, end of, and you should treat it as such - regardless of what idea's you had of your father being all angelic and not like every other man around.

Its his laptop, his porn. Let it be. Your dad was probably looking at porn before you were even a stain on the bed sheet.

It's very, very easy to find. Not in his own, private folder.

How do you know your mum even uses the laptop that much? If it was that easy to find, I'm pretty sure she would have seen it there before, as I doubt he's only recently started to download it.

Hell, your mam might even like it

You don't know what they get up to when you're not there, and you shouldn't. Thats their private life. They could be up to all sorts and you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

Get over it, and pretend it never happened.

LegacyUser

No, i've no intention of tellling my mother, she'd be devastated. They're an old-fashioned pair (or so I thought!). I'll try and get it out of my head but it'll be difficult to feel comfortable around him from now on...

nomorebadtown

I only hope i can handle teh P0rn at 70! leave your da alone ffs

calex71

As said if its Kiddy porn or something along those lines report him,

If it was gay porn he might have just been curious.

How many videos are we talking about OP???

Many have bashed you about snooping but im with you on the fact that it is a shared pc and if he's watching porn on it, it really should be hidden away so grand kids/wife/you etc cant see it.

At the end of the day that aside, i really dont see anything wrong with watching porn, unless it was two girls and one cup that was quite disturbing :eek:

CaptainSkidmark

finding out your dad is watching porn is like finding out your little sister is having sex with her boyfriend.

Not nice to know but thats life

sam34

as long as it doesnt involve kids or non-consenting adults, then it's not up to you to judge how "hardcore" his choice of porn is. people get off on different things, end of.

it's not nice to think of one's parents having sexual desires and drives, but really, tough luck OP.

you have no right to judge and certainly no right to confront him on it.

LegacyUser

You're going to have come right out & tell us exactly what type of porn your dad was looking at. Without the full details it's hard to make an impartial prognosis.

LegacyUser

If one finds out one's dad is looking at porn, it is a bit weird.

If he's looking at stuff that you find "bad" then surely that's weirder.

How many of those commenting here have found porn on the pc in their folks house?

Having found porn stuff on the communal pc in my folks house, I wasn't disgusted but like the OP, I was a bit put out that the history had not been deleted as my younger sisters use the computer and it would freak them out if they found out...

As for what to do, well, I did nothing other than delete the history and changed the settings so that the history would only last a day or whatever. I had thought about marking his cards as my mother would hit the roof if she found out (cos I remember when she caught him with a mag when I was younger), but decided to leave it as was.

aare

Look I totally understand that you must be squirming with discomfort after finding this, and you have all my sympathy...

But it still isn't any of your business, and you have to learn to let it go, without letting it affect your relationship with your parents too much.

Pity you can't just "unsee" it really?

Firetrap

OP, you're as well to stay out of it and say nothing. What good will it do? Your dad will feel embarrassed if he finds out that you know what he's been doing. Tell your mum and you'll cause problems with her. Ultimately, it is none of your business.

How do you know your dad hasn't been looking at porno videos for decades? Perhaps he has/had a secret stash of tapes hidden somewhere. The only difference now is that you know.

It's a shock to learn that your dad is a sexual being and likes looking at porn. I don't think it's shocking many other people on this thread to be honest - the only issue here is your attitude to porn and that it's your dad. Let's say someone else posted the same problem...what would you say then?

Hagar

What exactly were you trying to achieve by intruding on his privacy?
Speaking as a father of two sons, 23 + 15, I would go apeshyte if I found them interfering with my personal stuff. Not porn, nothing like that, just my stuff, it's mine leave it alone. I don't intrude on their privacy. I don't even turn on my wife's laptop, no sniggers please, it's none of my business. How would you feel if your da poked his nose into your stuff? Grow up. Learn to respect the boundaries of privacy.

bobcar61

What man doesn't watch porn?

You shouldn't have been so nosy to go snooping around on his laptop in the first place.

Kinetic^

Look, all men look at porn. Say it to him and tell him to put it somewhere more secluded on the laptop. He'll get embarrassed but consider it payback for having the "talk" all those years ago.

T-Square

oh Jesus.... wrote: »

Okay, I just want to see if I'm being a prude about this or if i'm right to feel uncomfortable about this.

I'm temporarily staying with my parents while i look for a job etc. and I haven't lived at home long-term for a very long time. I don't feel completely comfortable with this situation as it is but this morning I was messing around with his laptop and found porn videos saved. It's only my parents living at home and as he is the only man living here, it's definitely his (some of it was downloaded in the past few days). I wanted to vomit when i saw it. My dad is not a young man...he's almost 70 and the stuff he was looking at was fairly disgusting. I don't want to go into too much detail because although i'm not registered, I still feel very embarassed by this. I have my own personal views on porn i.e: boyfriends and friends can look at what they like but I don't want to know about it. It's one thing finding porn on your brother's laptop but your dad!! My dad is so far from a creepy, sleazy old man that this situation is almost comical...but it's not. I don't think I can ever feel comfortable around him again knowing what he looks at and does when we're gone to bed. This situation makes me feel sick to the stomach and slightly confused. Why didn't he make more of an effort to hide his tracks??

HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WERE MADE? :cool:

a stork?

LegacyUser

Right, please, less of the patronising and for those who couldn't be ar**d reading the rest of the thread...THIS IS NOT A PRIVACY ISSUE as i've stated in my other posts!! hese videos were only saved in "My videos" and not under a seperate folder. This is a communal computer, my dad has no problem if I use it, he insisted i use it to do whatever i want to do and he knew I was saving videos, downloading photos, sending and saving CVs etc (I've been away for a couple of years and I'm an amateur photographer)..privacy is not the issue...the issue is this is my dad. The issue is not the porn itself, the issue is the TYPE of porn he's looking at and the biggest issue of all is the fact that i've seen what gets him off and I have to look at him in the face afterwards (he's retired and i'm unemployed and were in the middle of nowhere...lost of time together). I have alot of respect for my dad, always did but in fairness, ask yourselves honestly how would you feel if you found at least 20 videos of girls sha**ing animals (this is as hardcore as it gets but jaysus, this is MY DAD!!).

I'm not sure what kind of relationships people have with their parents but mine is a typical, run-of-the-mill Irish one from very different generations. Not fantastic communication, respect but we never discuss feelings or (sorry, have to laugh) SEX!! I'm perfectly aware where I came from so less of the patronising...this is not a particularly serious topic but really, if you know your dad gets off on women making love to dogs or whatever, how could you look him in the eye?

If you've no constructive advice or real life experience with this situation, then vent your spleen elsewhere. Lets not pretend were from the Netherlands here....the Irish don't have an open attitude to sex just yet. I wasn't brought up in that type of household and lucky you if you were.


Thanks.

Sqaull20

Leave the man alone :pac:

He's not out drinking everynight and wrecking the place, so what if he likes weird ****, as long as its not kiddie stuff, who cares!!

Everyone's dad and mam look at porn on the net at somepoint, my dad could watch rats ****ing for all I care.Losing respect for your dad!! get a grip ffs, he's probably been a brillant father and your holding this against him

Forget about it, you never saw it

calex71

I was going to say that kind of stuff would be pretty underground stuff etc but the 1st hit on google would suggest theres a zootube :eek:

Ok as distasteful as I find that, I still say different stokes for different folks as long as its consensual adults involved.

Here though i could see where the OP is coming from and especially on a shared pc where its there for all to see

Look OP u cant unsee what you saw, and personally I wouldnt say anything to your dad. But id try and forget it to be honest, parents are as weak as the rest of us no matter how much we would like them not to be.

If you did want to give a subtle hint though, you could always just delete them. Although then it might be forever this unsaid thing between you which might not be good either.

LegacyUser

I deleted it before i had a proper look at it (i only looked for literally seconds but it was very obvious what kind of porn it was by the title and cover image...and I wasn't going looking for this, as i said in my original post, ignorance is bliss is my general attitude on this type of thing, particularly with regards to family and boyfriends, which i know might not be healthiest attitude but hey, no one is perfect. I stumbled upon this by accident....NEVER thought in a million years i'd find this crap on the computer) but i think it might have come from Zootube. I deleted it the minute i found it for my mother's sake. I'll try and get it out of my head but it's not going to be easy. Regardless of my opinions on porn, I find beastiality just pure disgusting and there was other stuff in there too that wasn't particularly pleasant (no kiddie or snuff). I don't hold this against my dad personally but my mind is scared for life.

Ickle Magoo

Unregistered wrote: »

Right, please, less of the patronising and for those who couldn't be ar**d reading the rest of the thread...THIS IS NOT A PRIVACY ISSUE as i've stated in my other posts!! hese videos were only saved in "My videos" and not under a seperate folder. This is a communal computer, my dad has no problem if I use it, he insisted i use it to do whatever i want to do and he knew I was saving videos, downloading photos, sending and saving CVs etc (I've been away for a couple of years and I'm an amateur photographer)..privacy is not the issue...the issue is this is my dad. The issue is not the porn itself, the issue is the TYPE of porn he's looking at and the biggest issue of all is the fact that i've seen what gets him off and I have to look at him in the face afterwards (he's retired and i'm unemployed and were in the middle of nowhere...lost of time together). I have alot of respect for my dad, always did but in fairness, ask yourselves honestly how would you feel if you found at least 20 videos of girls sha**ing animals (this is as hardcore as it gets but jaysus, this is MY DAD!!).

I'm not sure what kind of relationships people have with their parents but mine is a typical, run-of-the-mill Irish one from very different generations. Not fantastic communication, respect but we never discuss feelings or (sorry, have to laugh) SEX!! I'm perfectly aware where I came from so less of the patronising...this is not a particularly serious topic but really, if you know your dad gets off on women making love to dogs or whatever, how could you look him in the eye?

If you've no constructive advice or real life experience with this situation, then vent your spleen elsewhere. Lets not pretend were from the Netherlands here....the Irish don't have an open attitude to sex just yet. I wasn't brought up in that type of household and lucky you if you were.


Thanks.

You have two choices, you can try & forget about it or you can confront him with your knowledge of it.

I'd go with the former. It's a bit icky - and I don't mean to sound patronising - but at some stage we all have accept that our parents are just normal people behind the titles we have for them, sexual appetites, fetishes & masturbation included. Bestiality wouldn't rock my boat - but I'm sure many of the things that do wouldn't be my Dad's cup of tea.

I remember finding a small portion of my Dad's porn collection on the end of some unlabelled VHS way back in the day & between that & my parents relative openness with all things sexual & sexuality, it just became a bit of a nod, nod, wink running joke.

If you choose to broach the issue, try not to judge - he's let you move home & use his stuff, it's scant thanks to turn around & proclaim he's warped. Maybe show him how to set up folders & passwords so he can do whatever he wants in privacy & you don't need to worry about opening any others?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Right, please, less of the patronising and for those who couldn't be ar**d reading the rest of the thread...THIS IS NOT A PRIVACY ISSUE as i've stated in my other posts!!

That's that sorted out!!

1) I gather from the OP that you're a girl in which case the whole issue of porn is going to come as a bit of a shock to you (whether it be boyfriend, husband, dad etc). Women aren't visual like men so can get to wondering about porn and how it works - given that they view it in a completely different way than men do. A hint into this for you would be the male perspective approaching the predominantly female predeliction with soap operas: he sees crap acting and seemingly corny storylines of Eastenders and the like. But the woman isn't seeing the crap acting and the compressed, over-dramatised storylines - she's seeing something else which the guy can't really get.

2) Porn involves extremes whatever the variety and like rape-motivation, power and control over others is the issues at stake - rather than the sex itself. Thus the rather contorted and soap-opera corny storylines, with women often placed in somewhat ridiculous-yet-obviously submissive roles

3) Allied to 2) above is the descending nature of any get-off (drug, work, porn, possessions, etc). That is to say, there is only one way to go and that is downhill - in order to maintain the fix. A guy starting out with "basic" porn in his twenties isn't likely to be stimulated by the same level of porn in his thirties (assuming he's still using it). He'll be likely to have progressed to something more extreme and on and on it goes. There's worse than women-with-animals in the scheme of things.

4) As to how to deal with the fact of your dad? My advice would be to get onto a site which deals with this specific issue (I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find them) and in the meantime thread lightly on the issue. Men aren't women and it wouldnt' do to go projecting women assumptions as to what part porn plays into the equation. Let folk who are more expert inform you

LegacyUser

Thanks for the constructive advice from those who gave it. Everyone else, it's great you have that kind of openess regarding your parents sex life but i'm guessing a vast majority of Irish people don't have that (and this can't be a good thing either and is probably why i'm so freaked out about it). This is the last thing i'll say about it because this is something I have to suck up and get on with, I suppose. Not a very serious issue on the grand scale of things. I have no intention of bringing this up with my dad...we just don't have that kind of relationship at all. He'd be mortified and I wouldn't want to do that to him and my mother would know we were having "words" and she'd be equally mortified/disgusted, believe me. Not sure what kind of advice I was looking for, probably just posting it up here to normalise the issue a bit and see what everyone's reaction would be. I've no intention of going near that computer again (on my brother's old piece of crap now) for fear of finding more of the same. Some people have said it's my between my parents and has nothing to do with me but i'm from a close family and honestly, judging by what I said about the situation with my brother, i think this is an issue that could make or break them if she found it...and then it kind of is my issue just like BOTH of their happiness is my issue for the rest of their lives. I would hate to see my mother upset over this carelessness.

Thanks everyone!

LegacyUser

Op I can imagine how you feel, some people find it hard to put themselves in someone else's shoes. It would be very disturbing finding your father's porn collection...even though lots of men love it, your own dad is not a person you'd like to imagine looking at it...it's hard enough picturing your mam and dad shagging never mind that.
When I was a child, my brother was poking about in my parents bedroom and found some porn mags....we used to look at them when they were out, thought it was a great laugh but at the same time, it caused a distance to form between my father and me..I stopped giving him a goodnight kiss around that time. My sister overheard them arguing about it so it was clear they were for his benefit, my mam was heard going on about his 'filthy mags'. Once when we were in my Granny's house when I was about 14 the same (snooping) brother found a few mags belonging to my uncle. I couldn't express how horrified I felt. I'd been disgusted with my father for years then to find my uncle who I'd just idolised had similar stuff (he was single)....I was heartbroken. Now as a grown woman I understand the needs they must've had and wish I'd never known about it. I know you're an adult and can eventually rationalise it in your own mind. Just try not to dwell on it, It's easy for strangers on here to say he's doing nothing wrong etc (which he isn't) but it is perfectly normal for you to feel disturbed.
In saying that, images of people having s*x with animals could be something he's watching for amusement..not for any sexual thrills. I watched a video years ago with a few pals about this. We were all fascinated with the horribleness of it but not one of us was turned on by it.

Oh The Humanity

Bestiality, well for me that puts a whole different complexion on it.

As for this patronising cliched b0ll0x:

1) I gather from the OP that you're a girl in which case the whole issue of porn is going to come as a bit of a shock to you (whether it be boyfriend, husband, dad etc). Women aren't visual like men so can get to wondering about porn and how it works - given that they view it in a completely different way than men do. A hint into this for you would be the male perspective approaching the predominantly female predeliction with soap operas: he sees crap acting and seemingly corny storylines of Eastenders and the like. But the woman isn't seeing the crap acting and the compressed, over-dramatised storylines - she's seeing something else which the guy can't really get.

Goes to show Unregistered a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Did you learn your facts about men and women in a Fisher Price manual :rolleyes: I dont even know where to start refuting that pile of nonsense.

OP DID mention at the start he/she has used pron HERSELF/HIMSELF....so I think we all need to call off the hounds here.

Bestiality.......thats dogs and horses fcuking women in this case OP has mentioned. Well, I can see your dilemma now OP, nauseating and difficult to forget. I bet you are only wishing it was a nice harmless bit of extreme s&m.

This would give me a really creepy feeling too and anyone who denies they would see their Da differently after that is a liar.

I dont know what to tell ya, other than if it was me I think I would have to have words.

shellyboo

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

Bestiality, well for me that puts a whole different complexion on it.

Yeah, for me too. People were all "Oh as long as it's not kiddy porn"... but abusing animals is ok, is it?!

OP, it's a tricky situation. I don't really think I'd want to get into a discussion with someone who was into bestiality about their fetish... so I think the best thing you can do (and this is actually the most likely situation anyway) is convince yourself that he was just looking at it out of sick fascination.

Like the way you'd be fascinated by something horrific, a car crash or a natural disaster... or a freak show, if you will. I have to admit, if someone sent me something like that or I came across it, I'd watch it out of sheer curiosity. So calm yourself - just because it's on the computer doesn't mean he's getting off on it.

prinz

shellyboo wrote: »

just because it's on the computer doesn't mean he's getting off on it.

Would you download it and save it? It's animal abuse. Would call him a sick puppy, but he'd probably get turned on.
Try to blank it out. Probably ease over time.

togster

This is your issue not his. Get over it or move out.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

That's that sorted out!!

1) I gather from the OP that you're a girl in which case the whole issue of porn is going to come as a bit of a shock to you (whether it be boyfriend, husband, dad etc). Women aren't visual like men so can get to wondering about porn and how it works - given that they view it in a completely different way than men do. A hint into this for you would be the male perspective approaching the predominantly female predeliction with soap operas: he sees crap acting and seemingly corny storylines of Eastenders and the like. But the woman isn't seeing the crap acting and the compressed, over-dramatised storylines - she's seeing something else which the guy can't really get.

2) Porn involves extremes whatever the variety and like rape-motivation, power and control over others is the issues at stake - rather than the sex itself. Thus the rather contorted and soap-opera corny storylines, with women often placed in somewhat ridiculous-yet-obviously submissive roles

3) Allied to 2) above is the descending nature of any get-off (drug, work, porn, possessions, etc). That is to say, there is only one way to go and that is downhill - in order to maintain the fix. A guy starting out with "basic" porn in his twenties isn't likely to be stimulated by the same level of porn in his thirties (assuming he's still using it). He'll be likely to have progressed to something more extreme and on and on it goes. There's worse than women-with-animals in the scheme of things.

4) As to how to deal with the fact of your dad? My advice would be to get onto a site which deals with this specific issue (I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find them) and in the meantime thread lightly on the issue. Men aren't women and it wouldnt' do to go projecting women assumptions as to what part porn plays into the equation. Let folk who are more expert inform you

Wow. OK. Haha! You can't get anymore patronising than the above! AS I SAID BEFORE IF YOU WOULD CARE TO READ THE POST, UNREGISTERED...this is not my issues with porn(I'm still undecided how I feel about it, to be honest and don't think much about until i'm confronted with this type of situation) itself that i'm projecting on my dad, this is purely to do with the fact that it's my DAD and he (possibly) gets off on women shagging horses and I don't know how to look him in the eye after knowing what he (possibly) does when we're gone to bed and if I don't keep on deleting what he's downloaded (which I won't, not touching that computer again), there's a good chance my mother will find it and I KNOW she would be devastated. She's very conservative when it comes to this type of thing as the situation with my brother a few years ago proved. As was pointed out, I've looked at porn myself in the past with exes and alone but you clearly believed skimming over the thread without reading the full story was sufficent to climb upon your high-horse with your sexist nonsense. I've NEVER watched a soap in my life and I know that most of my close female friends don't either so that's such a stupid comparison. Hardcore beastiality does not equate to an episode of Emmerdale ffs. And by the way, who says women aren't visually stimulated? I know for a fact I certainly am. If i do watch a porn, it's mainly the man and his c**k that i'm looking at...it's just that men haven't been sexualised like woman have since the beginning of time. It will happen, believe me. This is a myth that has been kept going for years by men to protect your own egos but again...this is a debate for another time.

I'm just going to try and fool myself into believing he was only watching out of curiosity and not necessarily getting off on it but ugh, i'm still weirded out by the whole thing.

aare

I didn't realise it was bestiality...

That makes a difference.

One thing I am asking myself, from an IT point of view, because they ARE just in "my videos" (which is a default download folder for a LOT of apps) is whether he (or anyone) might have managed to accidentally download these in the course of trying to download something else?

I think, awful though it may be, you are going to have to sit down and ask him, straight out, if they are his videos, because there is a good chance he doesn't even know about them...and if that is the case it's better to give him a chance to say so.

Or at worst, give him an opening for "the Talk II"...because I think you, and your relationship with your father, would benefit from an explanation now you have seen this.

shellyboo

prinz wrote: »

Would you download it and save it?

If someone sent it to me as email attachments then I'd have to, woudn't I? Or if they came from a site that meant I *had* to download them to watch them; and I was curious... then yeah, I would.

Also, this:

aare wrote: »

One thing I am asking myself, from an IT point of view, because they ARE just in "my videos" (which is a default download folder for a LOT of apps) is whether he (or anyone) might have managed to accidentally download these in the course of trying to download something else?

Bestiality = quite rare and shameful fetish.

Computer illiteracy = common as muck.

Azphyxi8

How do you know he gets off on it? He could have received the file in an email and when he opened it, it automatically downloaded to the default Videos folder. He could have closed it straight away.

Might even have been your mother who downloaded it by accident.

Whatever the situation, just forget about it.

Denerick

There is a slim possibility it wasn't him. Like your neighbour or something. Try and convince yourself that.