Counselling

LegacyUser

I'm thinking lately that I need some counselling, but my problem is that if I go for some... how does it help? I keep thinking that whatever I say will be my side of things, and how will a counseller be able to offer real advice if they only know my version of events?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm thinking lately that I need some counselling, but my problem is that if I go for some... how does it help? I keep thinking that whatever I say will be my side of things, and how will a counseller be able to offer real advice if they only know my version of events?

I saw a psychotherapist who is trained in finding the answers within you, so it doesnt really matter about your story is its how your story makes you feel, when you understand why you feel a certain way or feel pain about something from the past you can then release it,

you cant change what you dont acknowledge, acknowledging your experience and feelings releases the pain that is there and enables one to move on.

Connecting the issues you have to problems you are now going through is how you stop it,

for example... if your relationship with your father was a very un emotional one you may be attracting men who are un emotional because it is what you know.

Understanding relationships and your childhood will give you some clarity over yourself and your life giving you a new identity now.

MysticalSoul

Therapy is about YOUR experience of what has happened/is going on for you, the views of other people are not relevant, as it is how these have impacted on you. A therapist offers an unbiased view, and won't try to "fix" things for you, as very often well-meaning friends aim to do - I, myself, have fallen out with friends who did this, due to feeling unheard etc.

Therapy helps to create a safe space where you can talk about anything, and a therapist will challenge also you in different ways, over time.

beks101

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm thinking lately that I need some counselling, but my problem is that if I go for some... how does it help? I keep thinking that whatever I say will be my side of things, and how will a counseller be able to offer real advice if they only know my version of events?

You'd be amazed how therapeutic it can be to talk to a stranger about intimate details in your life. It can feel safer and easier in that it's without judgement or consequence.

The objective is not to offer any 'real' advice but to aid you in getting a bit of perspective and maybe come to your own conclusions as to what you want to do/not do about your problem.

AngryBadger

OP it might help if you were to elaborate on what you need counselling for. Are you looking for someone to talk to about problems specific to you and you alone? Are you seeking counsellign with a partner?

If you're looking for someone to talk to about yoru own life; the point of counselling might simply be that they may be able to provide you with an alternate perspective that you can apply to your own lifestyle.

People who offer help in a psychological capacity are not ever attempting to "cure" problems, more often what they're trying to do is help peopel with difficulties to veiw those difficulties from another perspecitve, one where they can see that whatever is snagging them on certain issues/events/history need not have that effect on them.

Don't view counselling as an "me vs. them" situation, view it as a chacne to discuss what bothers you in an open, non-judgemental environment, with someone who's trained to help you pick apart why tghins bother you, and maybe offer a healthier point of view on those things.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Well, my family is a bit f u'ed, like most people's I suppose. My dad is ... a product of an unstable home, and although we get on okay now, i spent many many years being ignored/raged at/hating him. My mother thinks I'm the golden child who is all wise.

And my relationship just broke up...

I suppose the kernel of my problem is that I feel like I can't trust my own judgement anymore. So if I go into counselling, and the counsellers hears things from my perspective, but my perspective is warped ... well, I don't know if my perception is warped that's the problem.

Man, it is confusing to be me atm!

LegacyUser

My advice would be to give it a try - you've got nothing to lose. Maybe try a psychotherapist rather than a counsellor. Don't forget they're trained to read between the lines, their whole job is about only getting one side of the story.

The process is not so much about telling you who's right and who's wrong, it's about helping you to process how you feel it's impacted on you and helping you to move past it and be at peace with it.

You don't have to stick with the first one you try btw. I didn't make any progress with the first one I saw, so I left it a while and tried again. The next one was amazing, and was able to tell me things about myself and my past that I hadn't mentioned to her at all just by reading between the lines, and she was spot on.

Give it a chance is what I'd say - best of luck