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Another breakup post.......

  • 12-04-2009 8:38pm
    #1
    gedas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29 ✭


    Hi all,
    I've posted here before about this whole thing some time ago. Thing is, it's not getting better.

    My ex finished with me back in august after nearly 6 years. Gave me reasons that at the time I thought were proper reasons. I took all of the blame on myself. But in reality, I still can't believe that I was such a bad boyfriend. I've done stupid things, but never cheated, never abused her, always respected her, loved and adored her dearly.

    We bought an appartment, and later a labrador. We also had a "friend" renting a room from us. Later I found out that she fell for him. And then it was over...

    In october I moved to London to look for help from my sister. I'm not irish, but I fell in love with Ireland, and I miss this country. I miss my ex and Ireland. My sister now is watching p.s. I love you, and it reminds me of the trip around Ireland that I had with my ex.....wicklow mountains national park.....:(

    I have a pretty posh job here, which I'm fairly happy in (I got it through my sis). But I would give it up if only my ex gave me a chance...Every morning as I walk to the underground and back I cry my eyes out. Every night I still dream of her....Good dreams and bad dreams.....and it's been 8 months already....

    I probably just can't believe that somebody could throw 6 years away without even trying to sort the things out. And I wanted to make our relationship work so much...I wanted to be with her so much...I still do....

    Just wanted to share this with somebody, because I can't really talk to my sister, and I don't have any friends here. I'm ashamed that after all that my sis did for me, I'd be willing to drop everything and go back to Ireland. If only my ex let me.....But perhaps it's only my stupidity that keeps my hopes alive...


Comments

  • #2
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    Wow! Ireland, is definitely big enough for you and your ex!
    Surely, you can move back without being in contact with her.
    I am a foreigner in Ireland and sometimes i am ashamed to say i love it more than my country. Can't stand poxy England either.
    Dude, there are many fishes in the sea. Come back home!


  • #3
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    I remember your original thread. I don't see how you're still thinking you were entirely at fault. In fairness, your ex seems like a pretty crappy girlfriend. Getting off with the room mate while you were living there is one of those reasons as to why she comes across as crap.


  • #4
    MIN2511
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    I should add, it's about time you forget the ex...
    That chapter should be closed in your life. It's easier said than done i know, but after what she did(i didn't read the other thread) i wouldn't be freinds or ever want to see/speak/hear from her.


  • #5
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    MIN2511 wrote: »
    That chapter should be closed in your life. It's easier said than done i know, but after what she did(i didn't read the other thread) i wouldn't be freinds or ever want to see/speak/hear from her.
    Very good point. Being honest, I reckon that's crossed your mind more than once.

    you are thinking of the good times you had together and that's what's making you upset. It's enough to reduce anyone to a mess once in a while but 8 months on is pushing it a bit and i reckon you need to be honest with yourself here. Firstly, you can be happy without her. She wanted to throw away 6 years because she didn't and still doesn't love you anymore. how often have you heard from her in these 8 months? how often has she initiated contact? If the answer t that is "rarely" or "never" then it's pretty clear where her feelings of you are. You aren't important to her anymore.

    And you know all this so why in the same of god are you holding her on a pedestal?! You're the one who got dumped, you don't have to give a toss about her. But you are focusing on all the good times and blaming yourself on it ending cos she was the one who did the breaking up and went for someone else straight away.

    Wake up man! She changed! She changed into someone else, someone who didn't want to be with you and someone you can't be with! There's NOTHING you could have done to stop that! It isn't your fault! The only way you'll get past this is when you stop blaming yourself for this relationship ending. We all do stupid little things because we're human and aren't reasons to break up with someone. You were a good boyfriend, faithful and loving but it wasn't enough for her. And that's her problem so why are you hoping that she'll call you and ask for you back?!

    stop blaming yourself. It's the only way to get past this. Learn from it and get rid off all memories and contact details and allow yourself to get her out of your head. Or you can post here in another 8 months time and say that you still miss her and would have wasted nearly a year and a half hoping for what you can't have. I wasted 2 years doing that with a girl before. from my own experience, i can only say that you have to accept that it's over forever and allow yourself to be happy.


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