Trouble meeting other lesbians

LegacyUser

Hello guys and girls. I am a 22 year lesbian who has recently enough started to come-out of the closet. All my friends have been fine about it. They were fairly suprised as it's not something that would have really occurred to them about me, but fine none the less. My problem is that I am having trouble meeting other gay and lesbian people. There is an lgbt group at my college which I attend and I have got to know a few people from that. But I still feel a little bit isolated. Everyone there is out a lot longer than me, and already knew each other fairly well before I joined, so I always feel a bit out of the loop. I also have never been in a releationship with a girl, and I am a virgin. I am very embarassed about that, but I also have started to feel like it's always going to be that way for me. I have come-out, I have joined the lgbt group, and I still have not met anyone. I just don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone been here at some point? Or has anyone any advice on what I should do. Thanks.

LegacyUser

Hey there. You might have better luck posting on some Irish gay sites. Try www.gaire.com or www.queerid.com for example. You can also meet women on www.gaydargirls.com
The outhouse is also a great place if you are in Dublin www.outhouse.ie
Don't worry about being a virgin. A lot of women only have their first experience well into their twenties if not older.

sf147

Hiya,

I just wanted to post to let you know that probably every gay person has been where you are at one point or another. You've taken a huge step in coming out, and that's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do, so well done

I met my girlfriend through friends who were also gay, but it was awhile before I met other gay people that I wanted to be friends with. It took me awhile to realise that I wasn't going to 'click' with every gay person I met and be best buddies, 'cause a lot of the time the only thing I had in common with them was that they happened to be gay too.

One of my best friends met her girlfriend through the networking site called 'gaydar girls'. I think it is probably a good way to get to meet a partner if that's what you're looking for. She chatted a little online and then recently met up for a drink and now they're all loved up. I know people who have also used gaydar girls as a way to meet friends, since there are so many gay women in exactly the same boat as you!

Where about's in the country are you? Have you looked into local LGBT groups, I know that Cork have a lesbian support group called LINC, and I'm sure if you looked into it there are probably others like it all over the country.

Let me know how you get on

spurious

Go to meet-ups of sites like gaire.com or angrypotato.net

Personally, I would avoid gaydargirls due to what I found was quite a high mad person ratio.

There is also planetsappho.com or plentyoffish.com for personal ads, but I would recommend Angry Potato or gaire since you can get a feel for people through their posts.

shoegirl

sf147 wrote: »

I know that Cork have a lesbian support group called LINC, and I'm sure if you looked into it there are probably others like it all over the country.

I wouldn't recommend LINC to somebody who is 22. There is a youth group and I would recommend this rather than the "drop in" or other groups as most of the women who go are 35 plus and more likely 40 plus and not very diverse. As far as I know LINC is really the only group of its kind in Ireland (its tight-knit structure has really enabled it to setup and survive).

Its a universal problem though, one I have to admit I deal with by expensive and lavish holidays to places frequented by like-minded lesbians.

What I would suggest if you are interested in trying Gaydar is to use the chatrooms because people will actually talk to you and you get a good feel for people. You do find a lot of time wasters online though who are very slow to meet up in person. Another good way is to go along to meetings and demonstrations by groups like LGBT Noise and Dublin - they are a great way to get to know people in a different setting. You really do have to develop a knack for striking up conversation etc and its much easier to do this in the context of a discussion than in a pub or bar setting.

shoegirl

spurious wrote: »

Personally, I would avoid gaydargirls due to what I found was quite a high mad person ratio.

Ha ha! I agree there are a few nuts on there but to be honest they are absolutely everywhere. If somebody seems obsessed in what you are wearing, talking about sex, and talks about wearing very stereotypical clothing, or sends you a lot of explicit photos (especially of different women) they are more likely than not mentally ill straight men acting this out. Also if people's stories seem "too good to be true", i.e. they tell you at 20 they are head of department in a major company, earn huge money, make unverifiable claims, they are probably lying also.

Watch out for the odd "bored housewife" - while generally they are just experimenting you can easily end up in the middle of somebody elses melodrama. Bi girls are generally fine tho, just watch out for the ones who are in hetero relationships, they usually look like trouble!!