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Mothers depression starting to get to me

  • 11-04-2009 6:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have grown quite concerned for my mothers mental health in the last few months, I know she is suffering from depression, that i think was spured on from my grandmothers (her mothers) death that occured 3 years ago. On average per week my mum drinks about 5 to 6 bottles of wine on her own. I have talked with her about it on several occasions (albeit while she was drunk) and she has admitted to me that drink helps her depression. I know it makes it worse as i would find her crying or in a very upset way at times while after she has been drinking.
    She has also told me that she feels incredibly lonely, my father/her husband died years ago) and this is begening to get to her at her age. I just dont know what to do, i am her son and i am considerably younger than her so i dont think i can help her in anyway to meet new people. Nearly all of her friends are married so she cant have a "singles night out with friends" so it is quite hard for her to meet people.

    Im totally lost over what to do, this is having a serious effect on me. I hate seeing her like this and it is starting to get me down too.

    Can anyone give me any advice as to what to do. FYI im still living at home and i am an only child.


Comments

  • #2
    Kevster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭Kevster


    Hi,

    When people become depressed, they sometimes find something to cope with it. In your mother's case, it's alcohol; In others, it could be anything from self-harming to binge-eating. The point is that the 'coping' mechanism is invariably destructive in it's own right. You've done well to recognise what's been going on and you seem like an intelligent guy. What I believe your mother needs to do is go to either her GP (yes, they deal with stuff like this) or to attend groups such as ALANON:

    http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/

    Take care my friend,
    Kevin


  • #3
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP - you need to be candid with her and tell her that you think she may be depressed and needs to see her doctor. You also need to tell her that drinking to relieve depression stops working and may make things seem worse.

    She has been through a very rough time and there are a few medics posting on boards but most will say get to the GP.

    If she allows it go with her and explain what you have observed and then let her alone to see the GP.


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