How often?

LegacyUser

I'm interested in seeing what other people think about how often a couple should see each other. At the moment I see my OH maybe three evenings a week, with sleepovers. Between our other commitments and getting our own chill out time this is manageable. We recently had a bit of a bad patch, during which time my flatmate said that my OH should want to be around me more. I've noticed that her OH often comes over five or six times a week, often late at night. I know all people are different, but what is the general feeling, is three times a week enough to be face to face?

MagicMarker

Yes.

LegacyUser

OP - how long are you a couple (versus your housemate and her OH too)... Every couple is different... if 3 times a week was ok for you and your OH (before your housemate mentioned it) i wouldnt be too worried...

SheRa

+1

It should only be a problem if its a problem for you or your OH, not because you are so influenced by what your friend said that you are now bothered by it.

To answer your question 3/4 times a week is preferable for me, but everyone is different.

LegacyUser

OP here, we're together nearly a year, flatmate is with hers 5-6 months. We saw each other nearly every day during the first couple of months with the result that friendships suffered, so I do feel that this is a heathier option. We are both early on in our careers and recently stress was creeping in, leading to the bad patch. I think three times is enough, and I know I shouldn't be bothered by what other people think. Probably shows up my own insecurities!

Lollipops23

i reckon 3 nights a week is plenty tbh. i'd see mine around that much but it varies week to week.we're both busy people with lives and friends of our own so we try to make that time "ours" and have plenty of alone time together.

tbh i reckon 5-6 times a week every week is a bit much...when you're young it's important to maintain some independance.

Salome

I think every couple is different - you shouldn't compare your relationship with anyone elses. If 3 nights a week works for you, don't feel pressurised to change things because of your friends relationship.

John Mason

sounds like loads to me

if i was living with your house mate i would be asking her boyfriend for rent money if he there 6 times a week

CathyMoran

Just spend as much time together as you both feel comfortable with, in the end it is your relationship, not anyone elses. My husband and I ended up seeing one another almost every day when we were first dating but that was because we were in the same faculty in college. We work in the same building together now so would travel in and home together as well as lunch/break together - it suits us. I was in other relationships in the past where I was lucky if I saw the other person once a week. It also depends on what is happening outside of the relationship (eg. if a family member is ill etc.)

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks so much for your views, you backed up my gut feeling. We don't live together so in order to have a life aswell, seeing each other three times a week (on average) is plenty. Thanks so much!