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Confused and need advice

  • 10-04-2009 04:12PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a problem, hopefully someone can help me with some advice.

    I am Gay

    I haven't come out to anyone yet but am worried some people in work are becoming suspicious because they make jokes about me being gay. They assure me they are only jokes but they are daily attacks and i feel hurt and confused. should i just come out and tell them so the jokes will end or should i keep quiet. The guys i work with are all great and i love them dearly but the jokes hurt and i don't know how to tell them.
    HELP


Comments

  • #2
    KittyeeTrix
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,239 ✭✭✭KittyeeTrix


    I know it's not right but people do make jokes that they don't think about. If they knew that you were gay I bet they would stop.
    It's kinda like the tsunami jokes, although they were in bad taste nobody who told them would have had any bad feelings towards the people who were caught up in the terrible event.

    I hope you get my drift!!!!!!

    Let them know if you are comfortable with that decision, but I wouldn't take the jokes personally.......


  • #3
    sparkydee27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭sparkydee27


    I have learnt a lesson and that's keep your private life private. If you want to tell them do so on your own terms not because they are making jokes. If the jokes upset you either make that clear to them or just roll your eyes at them and say god this is getting boring when they joke again. Or something to that effect. I agree with the above poster they wouldn't make jokes if they thought you were gay and would probably be mortified if they thought you were upset. Don't tell them if you don't want to.


  • #4
    billybob321
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭billybob321


    Seriously you should stand up for yourself.
    I'm also gay and was in your position a couple of years ago.
    3 guys wouldn't stop slagging so i warned them a few time but still they went on until one day i snapped and we had a fight.
    I not that big but i thought them a serious lesson
    I wouldn't mind but i really fancied one of them.

    Knock a few heads..........


  • #5
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,301 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    billybob321 I can understand your take but please dial back on the advocacy of violence as it's against the charter of this forum. Thanks.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #6
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,978 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    You should only come out if and when you are ready, not to stop people in work making jokes about you. If there is one or two of them you get on well with, I'd take them aside and explain that you find the jokes very hard to take and request that they stop. If they continue the jokes, THB, I'd be seriously considering going to your company's HR department about it.


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  • #7
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    maybe the lads know and are just joking about it to kinda wean you into telling them in some sort of way. Once they tell you they are only joking. I think they already know to be honest. My twin came out about 5 years ago. He is going for the guards so meself and a few of the lads are calling him a bent copper. He only laughs and tells us we are fecked when he see's us at a checkpoint.
    If ya cant beat em join em.
    Best of luck with what way you decide to sort this bud


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