BGRH Investigates - Alcohol Free Beer

Tom Dunne

Given the day that is in it, I think it is fitting that we turn our collective attention to that curious concoction that is Alcohol Free Beer. I am sure we will all agree, it defies the very definition of beer to spend so much time brewing it, nurturing it, bottling it, then sucking it's very soul out.


So what drives people to drink AFB? Is it the taste? Surely not, as we all know AFB does in fact take like fermented horse urine. Is it the fear of letting one's self go? A fear of intoxication? If so, stick to the cocktails. Sounds like they will suit your image better.


To most men, AFB is almost as abhorrent as it's cousin, Light Beers.


I therefore put it to the assembled masses of BGRH - why do people drink AFB and what can we do to make them see the light that is Real Beer?

Creamy Goodness

there's alcohol free beers?

is it actually beer then?

ahh no i kid i kid, i think it exists just so for people who are the designated driver and feels like he'll look like a plank without a beer in his hand.

i actually don't know anyone who drinks AFB and they would get a slap tbh, water is free and tastes better if you're the designated driver.

liah

I do believe the term is "near beer" and I never really saw the point..

faceman

If im driving i might have an alcohol free beer. Ive sampled many brands and the only one that comes close to tasting like real beer is the Erdinger brand. But in saying that anymore than 2 and you feel like you are drinking horse urine from chlamydia ridden horse!

Star Lord

I can't drink, and been well over 9 years since I could, but I still wouldn't lower myself to drink that muck.

I honestly think that how they make it is that they get someone to drink beer, filter the alcohol out via their liver and kidneys and piss what's left into a funnel which fills the bottles...

Zaph

This discussion is the very epitome of what alcohol free beer is. Pointless.

smashey

Shortest investigation ever.

Alcohol free beer?

It's liquid equivalent of quorn, an abhorrence.

Diabhal Beag

I wouldn't care as much if it was cheaper than normal beer but I think it costs just as much :eek:

Wibbs

smashey wrote: »

Shortest investigation ever.

Alcohol free beer?

It's liquid equivalent of quorn, an abhorrence.

+1000000000000000000000000000

I popped in for my usual lurk and see this title.:eek::eek::eek::eek: For shame Sir. For shame..goes away muttering about how he never thought he would be let down by a giant of a man like Tom Dunne. The world now feels wrong somehow. Heartbroken sir..

P.C.

Do I have to read the thread before I say:

NO!

Toto Wolfcastle

Alcohol free beer has a tiny bit of alcohol in it which makes it worse because they are wasting precious precious alcohol.

Alcohol free beer is a necessary evil. What else are you going to drink if you get caught to be the "designated driver"?

Poor Uncle Tom

In the 1960's shandy used to come in cans (I think they were called tins then). I was given one every Friday after the Ma did the weekly shop.

That was lovely stuff, I think it was 1 or 2% alcahol. Anyway the point is that tasted better then AFB. There are hundreds of other drinks on the market and bar shelves to choose from. Why would anyone want to pay top dollar for a pointless brew?

i) It tastes damn awful, has an aftertaste I think you'd have to lick you ass to get rid of.
ii) You'd need a science degree to brew the crap and it still has no alcahol.

AFB = not for me.

Slow Motion

Alcohol = beer (or spirits)

Alcohol Free = Not beer (or sprite)

Free beer = Happy days!

The sentence as a whole makes no sense close this thread!

Q.E.D.

Capt'n Midnight

AFB = Hangover juice

All the techniques they use to remove ethanol leave behind fusel alcohols so apart the the dehydration you can still get the other effects of hangovers. And your wallet still hurts.

nice1franko

If I'm designated dessie i'll take 6 alcyhol free bottles (n-alcy's) of becks along for the ride.

Yeah, there's no alcohol in it but 6 bottles isn't exactly going to get you far in the inebriation stakes anyway is it?

Beer tastes nice. I'd rather be sipping it than tae or 7up all avo.

Dord

nice1franko wrote: »

If I'm designated dessie i'll take 6 alcyhol free bottles (n-alcy's) of becks along for the ride.

Yeah, there's no alcohol in it but 6 bottles isn't exactly going to get you far in the inebriation stakes anyway is it?

Beer tastes nice. I'd rather be sipping it than tae or 7up all avo.

Non-alcoholic beer does contain alcohol actually. It's usually around 0.5%.

But anyways, nobody should be drinking it because its awful stuff. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Nevyn

Erdinger non alcholic ftw if you can't have proper beer.

Gaspode

+1 for erdinger, but its not always available.
I tend either not to bother drinking anything, or just have a soft drink.
Both options suck compared to having a real beer.

JIZZLORD

erdinger non alcoholic kinda tastes soapy

Seth Brundle

If you think Erdinger Alkoholfrei tastes bad then try Becks N/A! Now thats real piss!
However, if you are driving when should you drink instead? Coke? Coffee? Water?

spiritcrusher

Could AFB be good for the cure after a heavy session? Suppose one needed the hangover to disappear lively but not consume any further alcohol??

Twee.

I tried the non-alcoholic Erdinger the other night and thought it was disgusting! It didn't taste like beer at all, doesn't that defeat the purpose a little bit?

JIZZLORD

are you used to regular erdinger?

Twee.

Ah yes, and had been drinking Paulaner that night too. But does the fact that it doesn't taste like beer defeat the purpose? I mean people are drinking it as a beer substitute. But then again they could genuinely like the taste...

Havermeyer

Twee. wrote: »

Ah yes, and had been drinking Paulaner that night too. But does the fact that it doesn't taste like beer defeat the purpose? I mean people are drinking it as a beer substitute. But then again they could genuinely like the taste...

I reckon the fact there's no alcohol in it defeats the purpose; and I've yet to meet a man, or woman, that likes the taste of any alcohol free beers.

The real brewers of good beers, with flavours and characters, would look upon the production of alcohohl free beer as blasphemy.

JIZZLORD

Twee. wrote: »

Ah yes, and had been drinking Paulaner that night too. But does the fact that it doesn't taste like beer defeat the purpose? I mean people are drinking it as a beer substitute. But then again they could genuinely like the taste...

ah, i know several people who'd say erdinger or any other hefeweizen doesn't taste like beer

Gym instrutor

Yeah id drink a sixpack of non alcoholic beer and its great to watch the footie with. It tastes similar without the kick or the hangover the next morning if your going into work.

mayordenis

I once got an alcohol free beer in mistake, I didn't nor would I drink such a foul creeation.

Naos

Tom Dunne wrote: »

So what drives people to drink AFB? Is it the taste? Surely not, as we all know AFB does in fact take like fermented horse urine.

Speak for yourself there Brother, I've never once consumed that foul liquid.

Spastafarian

Paulaner alkoholfrei is nice enough. I like to drink it while driving for the craic.

John Mason

its cheaper then drinking soft drinks, when yet again you have designated as the sober driver person

Twee.

My non-alcohol-mate drink it because after a few too many Cokes/Lucozades she's wired to the moon! Also, it stops people asking "What aren't you drinking' as it looks like beer.

3greenrizla's

JIZZLORD wrote: »

ah, i know several people who'd say erdinger or any other hefeweizen doesn't taste like beer

& I know people who swear Budweiser does.

OldGoat

I know I'm the lowliest of the low, a cockt-ahem drinker but even I'd never stoop to the depths unbeer.
Unbeer is a fakery, a mockery and a shamery and if there was any justice in the world it would be all rounded up then evaporated, condensed and re-distilled to produce a good wood alcohol suitable for only lighting bar-b-ques.

Manic Moran

I am in an unfortunate situation. I am an officer in a greatly feared organisation, one which can basically beat the crap out of anything else on the planet... Yet for some bizarre, daft, and utterly unfathomable reason, prohibits any combination of alcohol and blowing the crap out of things. Sounds like it could be fun, to me.

As a result, my only options are soft drinks, and AFBs. I like Becks. I like it a lot. After a month here, I decided to try the AF version of it. This was not a pleasant experience.

What I shall do is as the months pass by, I shall have one AFB per month. I shall let you know if, after nine months without access to a real beer, AFB actually becomes a viable substitute.

NTM

Agent J

Something is wrong with the title.

Alcohol,Free beer


There we go.