20 year old male virgin/In love with girl I can't have

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm a 20 year old male virgin and I find this highly embaressing since I'm in a group of friends where everyone is sexually active. I've had the opportunity a couple of times but passed it up, felt a bit silly to ride a girl I didn't really like just for the sake of it.

The worst thing is I've no self confidence, I feel like it makes me into a child in an adult world. I've slowly grown to detest the niteclub culture and the BS that goes along with 'pulling' girls. I've no interest in it. I'm even getting paranoid that some of my mates are beginning to think I'm gay since I'm a virgin.

I get really bad love pangs, there's a girl I have really been infatuated with since I was 12... Yes, 12! I've been good friends with her since this time and feel so sick to the stomach when I see her about with her boyfriend... I don't know what to do! I don't obsess over her but do find myself comparing other girls to her all the time, and I've never had the balls to approach her about this.

I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, but who is really?

Is this really abnormal? I really don't think I know anyone else in my age group who is a virgin.

sin-blu

Im sure there's plenty in ur age group that are still virgins they just dont have the balls to say it. My advise wud be to tell her cuz otherwise you'll never know an ya cant go another 8 yrs waiting for her. and have fun!! life is for livin

dudara

unregistered wrote: »

Hi,

I'm a 20 year old male virgin and I find this highly embaressing since I'm in a group of friends where everyone is sexually active. I've had the opportunity a couple of times but passed it up, felt a bit silly to ride a girl I didn't really like just for the sake of it.

In fairness, why do you feel bad because of this? It genuinely is worth waiting until you meet someone you truly like.

I've slowly grown to detest the niteclub culture and the BS that goes along with 'pulling' girls.

So you're showing more maturity than your friends. Have some confidence in yourself and your choices.

I get really bad love pangs, there's a girl I have really been infatuated with since I was 12... Yes, 12! I've been good friends with her since this time and feel so sick to the stomach when I see her about with her boyfriend... I don't know what to do! I don't obsess over her but do find myself comparing other girls to her all the time, and I've never had the balls to approach her about this.

We may all have someone who we place on a pedastal but as you admit, she has a boyfriend. Take a fresh look and think about what you would like from a girlfriend. You fell in love with her when you were 12, that is no longer the case.

Is this really abnormal? I really don't think I know anyone else in my age group who is a virgin.

Trust me on this one. A lot of people are virgins when they may say otherwise. Early to mid-twenties isn't uncommon. Trust in your own instincts and forget about others.

Mr. Frost

dudara wrote: »

In fairness, why do you feel bad because of this? It genuinely is worth waiting until you meet someone you truly like.

Or until you meet someone you're just really attracted to, seeing as how it's bothering you.



[/QUOTE]So you're showing more maturity than your friends. Have some confidence in yourself and your choices.[/QUOTE]

Or maybe OP you detest it because you're unsuccessful at it in comparison to your friends? If it's the case then you just need to sample it once before you might grow to enjoy being out with your mates a bit more. Besides, it's not all about scoring, have fun first, the rest will follow.

LegacyUser

This girl probably friend-zoned you a while back. so its probably best to ditch that crowd for a while and go look elsewhere. start with a clean slate you know

LegacyUser

Wouldnt worry too much OP it will happen eventually. Who cares what your friends think. I was a virgin till 25 and I was certain my friends thought I was gay. I was just a little shy and always lacked confidence in myself when it came to women is all. However when the best looking girl in work who all the guys fancy thinks your hot stuff well it gives you that wake up call to realise that maybe you are'nt as bad as you think and are infact a bit of a catch. Was always told this by friends and female work colleagues anyway but never believed it till now.

Im no Brad Pitt myself but im an honest genuine guy and wheras before when I would go into a club I would have my head down missing opportunities but now I look around with confidence and I just happen to catch some women looking back....now all I gotta do is go talk to them! I suppose a positive thing is when I do meet someone I wont be carrying around any real sexual/relationship history for them to get jealous about. (Oh and hitting the gym 5/6 times a week to build some muscle is a great confidence builder, the women in work just love to touch them....im sure I could sue for sexual harrassment by now!!)

Terodil

Don't let it get to you. You do not need to have f*cked somebody before a certain magic age to 'be a wo/man'.

I know some people would advise you to get it behind yourself, just so you 'break the ice' and get this issue off your mind, if it impacts your self-confidence so much. I can see that reasoning, but it wouldn't have worked for me.

I waited until I found the love of my life, at 28. I don't regret it one bit.

I personally think that you should realise what power you give others over you if you let their thoughts of you impact yourself that much. Why do you even care what they think of your lovelife? Stand up for yourself. Not everybody is into one night stands, not everybody is an early or late starter, and there's nothing wrong with anything of this. You lead your very own life. YOU need to be happy and comfortable with it, nobody else.

Ironically, this might actually lead you to find your girl faster than anything else, because self-confidence and a certain degree of 'I don't care' is a very attractive trait, I heard

Dravokivich

unregistered wrote: »

Hi,

"I'm a 20 year old male virgin and I find this highly embaressing since"

"the BS that goes along with 'pulling' girls. I've no interest in it."

"paranoid that some of my mates are beginning to think I'm gay since I'm a virgin."

"Is this really abnormal? I really don't think I know anyone else in my age group who is a virgin."

I was a virgin until 23... even then haven't really done it much...

randomly "pulling" was never really my thing... not that i wasn't "confident" i just had no interest in it.

That paranoia thing... mates used to joke with me about that, i just shot back at them with "Well if I was gay, i'd be the last one to know"... not like there's anything wrong with homosexuality ffs...

I would of been in your bracket... being a virgin aint a problem unless you make it one... sure sex can be fun... but its not the end of the world without it...

honru

Fully accept your insecurities, that's the only way to get over them. You could tell people that you've never had sex before and haven't met the right woman yet, maybe joke about it a little bit so to not take yourself so seriously. When you accept yourself fully, other people will too.

homerun_homer

Don't fret over being a 20 year old virgin - You wouldn't believe how many there are - loads post here with the same issue - it's just they keep this information to themselves. Your big worry is this girl you are mad about and the fact you are a virgin just makes you feel worse for it.

netwhizkid

You would be surprised at the amount of "sexually active" people who are actually virgins. Alot of it is the male macho primate behaviour, no need to worry and it will come in its own good time. Take care, get yourself educated on sex, the risks and the enjoyment to be had. Use a Condom at all times and don't think too much and most of all have fun!

Overheal

As a general rule you can't be friends with a girl you're secretly in love with. How you've gone on this long like that is beyond me. You need to either put your feelings forward or you need to stop befriending this girl. I would just go ahead and tell her. Killing the friendship? Yes it will, but that friendship is toxic, clearly. Do the healthy thing and attach yourself to an available someone