Inablity to talk

LegacyUser

Hey,

I need a good bit of advice on something.

Well firsty, I used to be a very outgoing person with ALLOT of friends. never had a problem holding conversation with most people and in general life was good.

over the last 2 years iv noticed more and more, that I cant have any form of conversation with anyone. Iv gotten extremely quiet and as you can imagine its effecting every single aspect of my life. Nothing in my life has changed dramaticaly in the last few years, friends have come and gone, but even old friends I find it very hard to talk to properly.

I suffer from pretty bad depressive bouts occasionaly because of it, and at first I tought it was depression that was causing my lack of the ability to talk. The depression still comes and goes but even on the best sort of day ill find it very hard to talk to people. When im out on the piss, sometimes I can slip back into my usual routine of being a pretty energetic person and would have allot of input into my surroundings. Other nights ill get incredibly depressed, sit in the corner and drink my cans while everyone else getts along.

At work its painfull. Iv left work pretending to be *sick* just to not sit with my fellow colleges.

Iv been told before that it could be social anxiety, but i do not believe this to be the case since its not the fear of being around people I have, its the utter lack of anything in my head that i want to say. I have the need to talk like anyone else, but i just cant seem to get the words out.

On a side note, If I drink allot of stimulants, I can be incredibly entertaining again.

what the fcuk is wrong with me? im going insane trying to figure out the problem.

Does anyone know how I can interact allot more? Exercise to boost my energy levels? (worried about diabetes drinking RB allot) I used to be very much into xtreme spots which got me going, work sitting on my arse, get home and sit on my arse, could this be effecting me?

does anyone else feel like this?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hey,

I need a good bit of advice on something.

Well firsty, I used to be a very outgoing person with ALLOT of friends. never had a problem holding conversation with most people and in general life was good.

over the last 2 years iv noticed more and more, that I cant have any form of conversation with anyone. Iv gotten extremely quiet and as you can imagine its effecting every single aspect of my life. Nothing in my life has changed dramaticaly in the last few years, friends have come and gone, but even old friends I find it very hard to talk to properly.

I suffer from pretty bad depressive bouts occasionaly because of it, and at first I tought it was depression that was causing my lack of the ability to talk. The depression still comes and goes but even on the best sort of day ill find it very hard to talk to people. When im out on the piss, sometimes I can slip back into my usual routine of being a pretty energetic person and would have allot of input into my surroundings. Other nights ill get incredibly depressed, sit in the corner and drink my cans while everyone else getts along.

At work its painfull. Iv left work pretending to be *sick* just to not sit with my fellow colleges.

Iv been told before that it could be social anxiety, but i do not believe this to be the case since its not the fear of being around people I have, its the utter lack of anything in my head that i want to say. I have the need to talk like anyone else, but i just cant seem to get the words out.

On a side note, If I drink allot of stimulants, I can be incredibly entertaining again.

what the fcuk is wrong with me? im going insane trying to figure out the problem.

Does anyone know how I can interact allot more? Exercise to boost my energy levels? (worried about diabetes drinking RB allot) I used to be very much into xtreme spots which got me going, work sitting on my arse, get home and sit on my arse, could this be effecting me?

does anyone else feel like this?

Hi there,

Can I ask you are you suffering particularly from anxiety first off, setting off some kind of depressive episode. Do you find that drinking helps this anxiety and the compulsion to continue drinking is overwhelming.

I went through something similar in my 20's/30s. Especially the isolation I felt even when I was in good company. Unfortunately I didn't know what was happening to me. I got increassingly depressed and this went on for years until I got correctly diagnosed and am now in a different world (happier).

Anyway you should go see a gp and if you can also get tested for pyroluria. There's a GP in Dublin who specialises in this condition.

You can pm me to my username flooper if you want his website.

Good luck!

Genghiz Cohen

"If I drink allot of stimulants, I can be incredibly entertaining again. "

I think you need to change your diet, if sugary drinks get you back to normal you need more energy.

Have a look at your diet and see where it could use improvement, talk to a dietician (sp?) or your GP and see what needs to change. If you have moved home, gone to college or just put more strain on yourself in general you might need to change your lifestyle.

So, have a look at your diet, get on supplements (maybe), excersise and cut down on sugary & alchololic drinks.

LegacyUser

Hey, Thanks for the reply.

I wouldnt say I feel anxious, I want to talk to people as MUCH as physically possible, i just cant find anything to say, ANYTHING. If anyone asks me a question i usualy just reply yes or no.

When I drink I seem to get my words back, my confidence stays the same (always fine), and i definatly get compeled to drink more and more and more, but the more I drink then usualy lose the run of myself and im straight back to thinking (why am i not talkn to people, leading to depression again)

If it helps, I can usualy talk like mad over msn, txt e.t.c but when i think about what im going to say i instantly hit a blank. (its the hardest thing iv ever had to try explain but here i am)

Dubs

im the exact same way im sorry to say. You try to say something funny or witty to say and eventually just anything at all but cant actually think of anything. Then AFTER the conversation is over you think of something to say but the moment is gone :rolleyes:

Personally since iv layed off the sugary foods and started to do more exercise its helped a bit, course im always better at it with a drink in my hand too. Part of it is to do with confidence i think.
Next time you have a chance to sit down with your colleges just do it. No matter how little you want to because of this problem just sit with them and take it form there. For me some of it is that ill care too much about what people will think about what ill say, so lately iv started thinking "Feck it! They wont care if you say something stupid and your the only one who will remember it if you do". Give it a shot anyway, see how it woks

994

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi there,

Can I ask you are you suffering particularly from anxiety first off, setting off some kind of depressive episode. Do you find that drinking helps this anxiety and the compulsion to continue drinking is overwhelming.

I went through something similar in my 20's/30s. Especially the isolation I felt even when I was in good company. Unfortunately I didn't know what was happening to me. I got increassingly depressed and this went on for years until I got correctly diagnosed and am now in a different world (happier).

Anyway you should go see a gp and if you can also get tested for pyroluria. There's a GP in Dublin who specialises in this condition.

You can pm me to my username flooper if you want his website.

Good luck!

Pyroluria is not considered a proper condition by most of the mainstream; you wouldn't happen to BE the Dublin G.P. in question?

cafecolour

That's pretty much exactly like me. Sometimes I'm in an outgoing mood when I'm on the piss, sometimes I'm not. Very rarely can I make myself go from one to the other, though a few things can help - definitely caffeine, definitely exercise, also talking to some I find attractive or that's very engaging themselves can perk me up.

But honestly, overall, I've just decided sometimes I'm introverted mood and sometimes I'm not and stopped worrying about it. When I'm more introverted, I'll stay in and read, or just call over and to mates to play video games/watch movies/etc and just chill - having mates where you don't need to talk all the time is pretty important. When I'm extroverted, I'll go out.

Remember also, that most people will like you in general - you don't always have to be 'on' - ie a witty conversationalist, the life of the party, etc. to prove your worth.

Finally, I too def felt I was more talkative when younger. A lot of it was that I was a lot less self-conscious. I'd quite happily regale almost strangers with amusing but embarrassing stories, have intimate emotional or gossipy conversations, or resort to stupid sexual innuendo etc. Now, I have a lot more filters built into place about what's appropriate or 'cool' to talk about, and it limits it to more benign small talk that can be more effort in some odd ways.

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

On a side note, If I drink allot of stimulants, I can be incredibly entertaining again.

what the fcuk is wrong with me? im going insane trying to figure out the problem.

Does anyone know how I can interact allot more? Exercise to boost my energy levels? (worried about diabetes drinking RB allot) I used to be very much into xtreme spots which got me going, work sitting on my arse, get home and sit on my arse, could this be effecting me?

does anyone else feel like this?

Well anytime you introduce a foreign substance into your body - any kind of medication or stimulant, you have to take into account how its affecting you. Red Bull can give you wings, but can also cause you to crash. Drank in large quantities in a short space of time can be dangerous also - I remember cramming for exams, skipping a lot of sleep and drinking a couple gallons ultimately, and I got me some awful chest pains, probably hypertension. That was a strange week indeed.

Your lifestyle has changed to be honest. Instead of going out and doing things and being outward, you're at home doing nothing being inward. Yeah. Thats going to fcuk with your energy and your social skills.

You can see a GP about advice on your diet and exercise. He'd probably tell you to ditch the red bull for something less intensive like Tea or Coffee, and exercise more.

Your failing conversational skills could be evidence of a bigger problem, like depression, which is why you should go to your GP and look into the matter. If after you get your natural energy levels back up and get into a more fit and active routine you find you still have trouble socialising - well frankly, I'd be surprised, given that people who don't sit on their ass all day usually have much more to talk about

LegacyUser

Overheal wrote: »

I'd be surprised, given that people who don't sit on their ass all day usually have much more to talk about

Sorry I had to laugh at this part, It was actually a real motivator to get my arse outa this chair and get going. Its exactly what I need

I am currently on anti depressants doh, They make me feel as if the problem is still there but a sheet has been put over it so im thinking of giving them up and going back to the GP to get a more direct approach to get this solved. (no matter how crap I feel off them, I can handle it, me thinks)

In regards friends, yes, thinking of it now, I actualy have quiet allot who dont realy mind if im in my *bad* days but I always avoid them for the fact that I keep thinking im a boaring fcker and find any reason to leave asap.

Anyway, Cheers for the advice, I think the first stop is back to the docs.

Urgggg.

SueWho

I think it seems like you feel you have to be entertaining or funny. You don't- very few people are funny all the time and tbh that gets exhausting if you have to be around those people a lot. Instead of getting stumped when people ask you questions and all you can say is yes or no, why not ask them questions first? How was your weekend? Any plans for Easter? Did you see XYZ in the news? Think about the world and try to have an opinion on things. If you have an opinion you'll always have something to say. And maybe you are naturally funny but start by easing in gently to regular conversations and you'll find you'll get your old self back. And don't rely on stimulants and alcohol to make you "entertaining"- it's more rewarding to be yourself sober even if it is hard at first.