What to do?

__plec__

Hey all

Ok,met this girl about 2 months ago,really liked her,we got chatting,she seemed lovely,but straight away she told me she had just come out of an 18 month relationship,have to say i admired her honesty.We just chatted about previous relationships etc,how to get over them,how to move on etc,exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways. Obviously i knew it wasnt the time to try anything,she needed her space,and i knew if i did do something id probably get too attached and then it'd end.

So over the next month and a half we'd text each other a bit,nothing much,just general chit chat,she seemed to be getting on well. Then one evening she texted me asking if i wanted to meet her for a drink. I was obviously delighted,i felt alot more comfortable that she had asked,if it was the other way around i would have felt id pressured her into it.

Anyway,we met for a few drinks,were chatting away,things were great,she seemed to like me,and a few times told me how good looking and charming she thought i was,felt good to hear.She is one of these girls who i would have thought was out of my league being honest,i know thats a stupid thing to think.We ended up kissing. I had asked her how she was dealing with being single and she told me she was fine, had been over 2 months,and she had left him as she knew he wasnt right for her etc.Was happy to hear this,felt like she was very comfortable being with me.Ended up being a fantastic night.

Next evening she texted me telling me how much she enjoy the previous night etc,i was over the moon,hadnt felt this way about a girl in such a long time.So i texted back,and asked if she would like to meet again,she quickly replied with a very positive yes,things felt so right.

So we're continuing to text,working out what we'll do next time we meet.We agreed to meet the following weekend,i would have liked to have met earlier,but didnt want to come across as being desperate.We texted alot during the week,but then she came down with something,so said she may not be able to meet,but hoped she'd be better by then.I said we could do something else,or meet another time,but she seemed to want to meet as first agreed if she could.

Anyway,the afternoon we were meant to meet i got a text from her telling me she was still feeling sick so wouldnt be able to meet.I was disappointed but had always told her to just worry about getting better,and we could meet another time.However her text continued about how she thought it was better if we didnt meet again,how her ex had been texting her all week and she just felt confused etc etc.Clearly this was not what i wanted to hear,id been waiting all week just to see her again.

I replied saying how disappointed i was,but that i understood how she felt etc,and to take some time and work things out,and if things changed then she had my number.I ended up deleting her number as i knew id end up texting her looking for reasons,seeing how she is etc and probably come across as being desperate.

I have alot to offer,and i think most would think of me as being a catch,yet i just let her go thinking how could she be interested in me (a self esteem issue but thats neither here nor there).As i said before,she is the first girl in nearly 2 years who ive felt excited about,and it seemed so right.

Anyway,im just wondering what should i do about it.Im confused about how it could feel so right,and then just end.

Any advice welcomed.

Thanks

MagicMarker

I wouldn't worry about it, you did everything right tbh.

The ball is in her court, you should just forget about it for now. I know you liked her but it's very early stages, you'll get over that quickly enough.

Kimia

Ya - you actually handled it very well fair play to you!

There's nothing you can do now, just leave it. I know it feels like you won't but you will find someone else who will make you just if not more excited than this girl.

Katgurl

yeah you did defo nothing wrong at all and i've been the girl in this situation. Worst case scenario she''ll have fond memories of you. Best case she'll realise she made mistake & get in touch with you asking can you give things another chance.

'Really hope its the latter, you sound a cool bloke.

LegacyUser

Man, im telling you I went through the exact same thing only in the last couple of months. Met a girl around the start of the year who was just out of a 3 year relationship and she was the first girl in around 4 years I was really mad about. I kept telling myself not to get involved because she wouldnt want to get into anything serious and id just end up getting hurt. We were texting for a while and I thought she was out of my league and had no chance but she was the one who asked me out so I too felt better about this. We went out for a couple of months, had great fun and everything indicated she was crazy about me (mainly her saying it to me) and then all of a sudden out of the blue I get a text saying she was sorry but she didnt want to get into anything serious, she definetly wasnt ready and that was basically the last I heard from her.

I am'nt sure what happend that made her realise she definetly wasnt ready but I think I deserved better than how she handled it. Instead of fighting for her I also just said I was really dissapointed with her decision but accepted it as there is nothing you can do about how you feel and deleted her number incase I said something stupid whilst drunk. I knew from the begining that would happen and I even said it a few times to her but she just shrugged it off. I had fallen for her in those 2 months and Im pissed cause Im a genuine honest guy who has alot to offer and I just feel I seem to get such a raw deal when it come to meeting women.

If she is getting back with her ex OP then forget her. I would also recommend the next time you meet a girl who says she is just out of a long term relationship then run for the hills cause I know I will be.

__plec__

Thanks all for the replies.

Was writing this mainly just to get it out,ive decided il give it at least a month and then see how i feel after that,if ive forgotten about her then great,if not then il see what i'll do.I really dont expect her to contact me,but we'll see.

If she got back with her ex then i would stay way clear,not into breaking up a relationships for something that may not even work out.

Sorry to hear you have been in a similar situation,its not nice, but then again i guess life isnt too bad when this is my biggest concern

Thanks again

SunInDublin

Well Plec like said previously you sound like a cool guy!!

but as a girl, and one who went through a breakup and only starting to date now, I can see that she is clearly not over her ex if she was so quick to push you away when he got in touch...probably better that it happened now then months later when you could be head over hills for her..

Plenty of other ones out there little Plec!!!

Good luck and remember me;)

bluecell99

Its the "Ex Syndrome" again.Seems to be very common.Basically she is not available for a relationship - with you or anyone else.

You did everything right .Not your fault.

Do nothing more.Lets hope you meet someone soon.But dont put any barriers in your way.

Personally if someone mentions the "EX" in the first five minutes I would run a mile.They should look up the definition of over and stop making fools of themselves and others.

msg11

bluecell99 wrote: »

Personally if someone mentions the "EX" in the first five minutes I would run a mile.They should look up the definition of over and stop making fools of themselves and others.

Totally agree, nothing worst when on a date, first one at that, then out of no where comes the "my ex".

Alarm bells go off in my head, here we go again !

Ends up no where and time waste on both parts.

Its in the league of the just friends carry on .

I'm of to the ranting and raving forum..:mad: