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Wanting to be a Father & do the right thing

  • 05-04-2009 11:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I am looking for some 3rd party advice. My Polish girlfriend went back to Poland with our 1yr old daughter. I lost my job and am finding it hard to send meaniful money over for her. The problem is she see's me as this ATM to fund her lifestyle there and all I get is 1 hour a week via webcam (if I have sent money) to see my daughter.

    The thing is I still love her and I would love to be a 'hands-on' father to my daughter but I feel like the mother just wants money from me, nothing else, I have a text this morning looking for more money which I don't have. My daughter has Irish citzenship so I keep telling her that she should come back to Ireland & they will have a better life but she enjoy's the family support she gets there.

    I don't know what to do.. Blank her and lose contact with my daughter; give her everything and lose my wellbeing/sanity. I don't know am I being unreasonable, is she being unreasonable? All I know is this is stressing me out and I don't know the answer..


Comments

  • #2
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Keep your money, set up a savings account for your daughter and put it there instead. In the mean time get legal advice, I'd also look into father's rights in Poland to see where you stand.


  • #3
    994
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭994


    I'm pretty sure it's illegal for her to just leave the country with the kid; did she have your permission?


  • #4
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Do you have guardianship of your daughter?


  • #5
    Alzar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 314 ✭✭Alzar


    Having being through a slightly similar situation to the OP, what his girlfriend has done is legal - well it was when it happened to me. Unfortunately, unmarried fathers are no legal rights whatsoever while the mother is of sane mind etc. I was told that my childs mother can go where she wants with the child & I was powerless to do anything about it. She even considered putting the chlld up for adoption! and she was well within her rights to do so, even though I was there, ready, willing & able to have my chlld come live with me.

    Suggest the OP gets legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in family law & as another poster advised, check out what rights, if any, the OP has in Poland. This I think is critical, get it sorted legally, arrange maintenance, visitation be it webcam or in person. Otherwise OP, you will be seen as an ATM.

    Also, I know the OP said he has been made redundant, but is there the possibility of getting a ryanair over once every 2 months or so to?

    Hope it turns out well.

    Al.


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