Think Ive a mental disorder is this normal?

LegacyUser

Going to describe this factually. I go day to day completely fixated on a girl. This leads me to obviously not getting the girl, and makes me heavily depressed and sometimes suicidal, wondering about self-worth etc. If I actually get the girl which is rare, the novelty is gone and I'm on to a different fixation. It seems I cannot think about anything else but getting the girl. These phases can last from years to months to days. The current one is around 5 months. If I even think about another guy with one of these fixations,I break into a sweat and fret. I am early thirties and have been like this since I was around 16.
How do I reclaim my mind enough to concentrate on something else?!! How will I ever hold a meaningful relationship?Last one was break up get back together break up non stop for 3 years. Do I just need a good kick up the hole!!!!!!!!!

eskimo

17 years? That's pretty intense. I don't really understand what you're talking about to be honest, but for something as intense as what you're feeling I would recommend talking about it with someone who knows what they're talking about. i.e. a psychologist/counsellor. Do you really want to feel like this forever?

I doubt you'll find any solutions to such a deep problem here (I could be wrong), you need professional guidance.

Terodil

TBH if you've been like that for such a long time, and really want to change it, you need to see a psychotherapist. The pattern is now so ingrained into your brain that it'll be very hard to get out of, even with professional help.