Looking for advice I guess

LegacyUser

I am in a pretty bad way at the moment
mid 20s, confidence rock bottom, no friends, not a sinner,people don't like me

I just don't know how to pick myslef up out of this.
I know everyone or atleast most people experience times when they have no one but this has been very consistent and I am running out of options
I see myself as damaged goods due to the amount of rejection I have experienced from all types of people, I don't know how to get out of it
I have gone to counselling and been to a doctor, I need other advice

Basically I am in so much pain here all alone I need advice on how to pull myself out of this with no support whatsoever
It is affecting me so much that I am now finding it hard keeping it together in work and I can't afford to take any time off

Someone please give me hope, help, to pick my worthless self out of this hole without resorting to death.
Thanks

Loopy

What about family? Have you discussed this with any of them...

LegacyUser

What do you mean by "not a sinner"? And how does that effect your feelings of rejection? Are you on meds? Have you bee diagnosed with anything? Just trying to help effectively, is all.

I have battled on and off with severe depression since I was about 9. I know how it feels, and how it feels to have no friends. I have been pretty much without any friends to speak of for roughly 8 years now, in part due to a bad break up. Long story, doesn't matter. The point is, depression becomes an addiction. I was addicted to the pain, the loneliness, the despair, and was starting to fantasize about suicide. My mother helped me break the cycle, to an extent with a daily exercise. She had me start keeping a journal in which I was only allowed to write, and was required to write, a minimum of 10 things to live for. 10 things that were positive in my life, even if they seemed insignificant at the time. It helps form the habit of looking for good rather than bad.
Another thing to think about is this: if you have hit rock-bottom, what have you really got to lose by attempting some life changes that could make you happy? Do something positive that you've always wanted to, but haven't done due to fear of judgment, (within legal and non life-threatening bounds, of course). The worst thing that could happen is that someone that you don't know or care about, might judge you. Is that really so bad? No. The best thing that could happen is that, by doing something for yourself that makes you happy, someone might see the best parts of you. We show our best selves when we are doing something we enjoy. It's attractive to others when we are confident and happy. Do something that even if it's only for a short time, makes you feel that way.
I will try to check back tomorrow, and if I'm way off-base here about the reasons for your depression, let me know. Sorry things are bad, but they can get better. They can.

cantdecide

How is it that you think you repel people??