What to do with my life?

sparkplug82

Hi all,

I'm 26 and currently work in business, in a go-nowhere job. I hate the work, company and really want to leave. The problem is, I havent the faintest idea what to do next!! I feel like I have reached this age and really have no idea who I am, what my strengths are (or if I even have any) or what I would be good at or enjoy doing. Anything I do think of, like going back to college or setting up my own business, seems like a total pipe dream because of money issues. Does anyone else feel like this, or has anyone? Any advice on where to start in order to figure this out? Its such a general question I know but I figure I might as well ask...

antiskeptic

sparkplug82 wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm 26 and currently work in business, in a go-nowhere job. I hate the work, company and really want to leave. The problem is, I havent the faintest idea what to do next!! I feel like I have reached this age and really have no idea who I am, what my strengths are (or if I even have any) or what I would be good at or enjoy doing. Anything I do think of, like going back to college or setting up my own business, seems like a total pipe dream because of money issues. Does anyone else feel like this, or has anyone? Any advice on where to start in order to figure this out? Its such a general question I know but I figure I might as well ask...

I don't hope to provide a complete solution or even much of a partial one but I would make a few points.

1) I've worked in dead end jobs - some of which were taken to support me through college (the restaurant business is ace for a student: the pay isn't great but you eat well). A dead end job is more than tolerable when your hopes lie elsewhere and beyond. So, don't leave your job, stay there and look on it as a means to support you in getting where it is you've got to go. That you don't know what that direction is doesn't mean you can't begin preparing for it. You could, for example, start saving weekly for the time when you do know in order that the financial aspects will be someway in place.

2) There are all kinds of maintenance grants for education, not to mention the fact that education is still largely well supported by the government (with the likelyhood in the near future being that you'll be loaned your fees rather than being prohibited entry by having to cough up up front - the government aren't that thick)

3) Unless you're particularily inspired, then setting up your own business isn't to be advised. It takes alot of inspiration to keep going - especially in the current climate.

4) A college education isn't so much about what you learn (by way of facts and figures) as it is about your mindset and thinking process being changed. This is witnessed to by the fact that many career opportunities are opened to those with a college education who'd like a career change into a different field. All they have to add to what they've got is a year or two training in a different field. I'm a mechanical engineer working in the area of manufacturing for the last 18 years. I could go back and do a year in college and become a teacher (God forbid). Or with two years training I could be a counsellor (Freud forbid)

5) Some peoples talents are mountain peaky (narrow ranging but definitive). Others talents are rolling hills (not so definitive but wide ranging). Some lucky bastards talents are a peaky mountain range - when their women they usually are stunning looking too. Whatever you are, you have talents and abilitys. See if you can get talking to career guidance types (in the uni's or even in schools) who are trained to identify such things. They'll generate options that you wouldn't and couldn't be expected to think of by yourself. A problem shared with an expert is a problem atomised..

6) Expect to have to work hard. This isn't anything like a problem once you've decided that you're going to step out and get what it is you need - even if you're not quite sure where you're going to get it. It takes a certain amount of kick starting effort before things begin to fall into place and the engine kicks into life. Ultimately it'll be a decision you make to free yourself from the sticky mud that appears to have you trapped. It is most certainly worth it - there is nothing like doing what you enjoy doing and someone paying you to do it. Only love beats it.

7) Set realistic and achievable targets - which doesn't mean writing out a list to stick to your fridge.

Take me: I left skool with zip and knocked around in a mixture of dead-end and dead-end-cos-I'll-reach-the-end-of-this-job-soon jobs. At 22 I decided I'd had enough and studied for the leaving cert. I was told by the powers that be in DIT that if I got 3 honours (at pass level) to add to the 2 passes of my first leaving cert I could have a place in a Technicians Cert course - on the evening version of it, that is. If I did well in the first course year (taking two years of evenings to cover it, that is), I could transfer to the day Cert course. And if I got a distinction at the end of the Cert I could do the diploma. And if I got a distinction in the diploma I could do a degree.

If I got tired of it at any stage all I had to do was finish up at the level I was at whether Cert/Diploma/Degree .. and I'd have that qualification.

Realistic targets the whole way through - someone like me couldn't have been expected to reach for a degree from the outset so a parachute was packed for the journey.

8) You're young. There is no doubt that options have narrowed for you but that doesn't mean they're anything near like closed down.

Hope some of this helps

God bless.

pow wow

I'm not gonna preach about going to college but if it's something you do genuinely want to do then make it happen. I gave up my career and sold my house to do it when I was a wee bit younger than you - it was tough (financially and otherwise!) but I don't regret it one bit.

In the current climate I wouldn't be too quick to leave your job (unless you are truly miserable), but as antiskeptic said, use the time (and money!) to think about and put in place plans for the future.

You're young enough to start over a couple of times!

Minxie123

Excellent post antiskeptic.

I particularly agree about the mindset change with your current job if it is helping pay for you to study in the evenings or weekends. I hated my job but three years ago I started studying part time. I love my course and work has become a means to an end which puts a different spin on it. I now appreciate my job as its financing my future rather than being the dead end number it was before I started college. It would be an idea to try out some foundation courses or an evening course that might be half way related to what you want before commiting to a four year diploma or whatever.

Why don't you tell us what you're interested in. The more way out the better! And we can see if we can think of anything to get you started? Aim for the stars!

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

I went back to college as a mature student when i was 23,

I had gone from fas course to vtos course and finally got into a 3rd level college, I was so happy because i had no leaving cert and fought hard to get into a top college,

The support i got as a mature student was brilliant, I had been 6 months unemployed and the fas courses counted as dole so i qualified for the back to education allowance 210 per week, i also qualified for a maintenance grant of 6,000 per year, and book allowance grant of 240 a year and i qualified for rent allowance 400 per month, it also included my registration fee 800 and field trips to New york, berlin, London, Barcelona!

I really felt blessed to have been give the chance in ireland to be educated it was the making of me, I was from a working class backround and there was only a 1% of working class in my college, it is a great scheme to give everyone equal opportunity, and once your over 23 your entitled.

I now have an Honours degree, and i love what i do, being educated grew my confidence 10 fold i would really recommend it. Im 30 now and i still feel i have my whole life ahead of me, Dont feel bad for needing some time to work this out, remember that song 'use sunscreen' and he says some of his friends dont know what they want to do and they are in their 50's, you will be guided in the right direction for you, Best of luck xxx

sparkplug82

Thanks to all for such kind words and encouragement.

I suppose my biggest obstacle is myself - I have a few career options in mind that i like but to put it bluntly i dont think I would be good at any of them and the idea of leaving my current job (which I am good at, but hate!) to go and do something that I feel i will fail at is terrifying.

I have considered becoming a counsellor, as I think that ultimately when I am 50 or 60, or whenever I retire, I would like to look back and feel that I have contributed to someones life, that I helped them somehow. But I also worry am I actually this nice good person that I want others to see me as? Probably not making a whole lot of sense sorry...

Other careers I have considered e.g in the health service would involve going back to college full time for 4 years through the CAO - places are so limited for mature students and to be honest i just dont think i would get a place on a course. Then theres the huge financial issue of leaving full time work - I have a mortgage! Has anyone else faced this financial dilemma? How did you cope?

I also feel incredibly self obsessed when I think or talk about this. So many people are on the streets, or redundant, or working minimum wage jobs. Who am I to moan about my life when I have a roof over my head and a guaranteed income every month? But then I suppose there are just so many choices out there now its inevitable to think the grass is always greener....

Minxie123

If you're interested in counselling there is an excellent 1 year foundation course in Ballyfermot College. Not sure if you're in Dublin but I know its on around the country as well. Its an evening course (one evening per week)and apart from providing an insight into whether counselling is the career for you, its an brilliant personal development course. PM me if you want any more details!