How to cope with my sister

LegacyUser

Hi, going to go unreg.

Im at a total loss. My sister has been having alot of problems the last few years. Lots of emotional issues, anger issues and alchohol issues.
She is 37, and has no partner. She cant deal with relationships, and messes up every one she was ever in, but she is afraid to be along, and just wants to meet someone.

She started counselling last year, but the councellor asked her leave as she felt my sister had to many problems to sort out (some counsellor)

She is just after ringing me in hysterics, as the latest man in her life has dumped her (after 2 dates), as he said she was too much of a handful!!

I really think this could be the final straw for her. She has booked herself in to see her doc this afternoon, but i dont know if she will last that long. None of my family members have their phones on, and i am unable to leave work, i am in a panic.

This is a very shortened version of the full story, with lots of details left out. i should just add that she doesnt nessecarily need a man in her life, but because of these failed relationships, all her other problems seem to come to the surface

I just feel her head is ready to explode, she cant cope anymore, and i dont know what to do with her.

Im also scared for myself, we had a pretty **** childhood, and my brother has already gone through one of these nervous breakdowns, now my sister, whats the chances i will be next?

tantipie

we all deal with things differently,,just because some people in your family have had breakdowns it doesnt mean your going to,,all you can do is be there for her,,and it good also that she has made an appointment herself,,she seems to know when things are getting bad,,best of luck xx

Dravokivich

F*CK me this is intense...

right first things first... this really is the last place you should be onto about it right now or... er earlier if things really are heating up there like that.

Kinda guessing your sister was looking for someone to get in contact with when blasting out the phone calls earlier,

If you fear that your sister's issue's co-incide with your brothers... no intention of poking... but that didn't end bad did it? While you Brother was having problems, did it isolate your sister in any way or had she been envolved in helping out?

As mentioned... not much of a counceller alright... but honestly couldn't fault the guy... if she's got an abandonment issue with someone she's only gone out with twice.. i'd fear to see how it would be if she had managed to get envolved in a deep relationship with him.

Your concern is very valid, second sibling it's happened to, but as mentioned, doesnt mean you are going to fall flat on it either. You seem to have a rather objective opinion about it, and caught on that what she needs is people she trusts with her.. or at the least contactable. If they're phones were off i hope you'd at least sent txt's so they'd be aware something was up and you were tryign to contact them when they switch back on.

You've got no way of calling time off work? Even though it is sorta close to the weekend.. would advise spending time with her... thats what seems to be needed. As you mentioned she doesnt want to be alone... Thats an insecurity that'll need to be adressed and what may be the best way to address the issue.

All the best!

Ericka

Your sister needs to sort out her issues. To me it sounds like she is going out on dates wearing them. She will never be happy with anybody until she does.

You said you both had an unhappy childhood. You seem to be coping relatively well, but why don't you offer to go with her?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

I couldnt leave work, and i was too far away. I eventaully got through to family members.
She made it to the docs...thank god. Got tabs, hopefully these will have some benefits.
We all supported my brother and he is good now.
I not really dealing with things that good, im just going through a rough patch with my o/h at the minute, and some of the issues i have are similar to my sis's but i handle them a little bit better, as i can she how bad she is and i dont want to be like that.
I have tried to suppport her all i can, but it can be very hard, she seems to be jealous of my life now, and im even begining to feel guilty about having a boyfriend and a life.

I really hope tablets are the answer, she is also going to seek help from another counsellor.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, going to go unreg.

Im at a total loss. My sister has been having alot of problems the last few years. Lots of emotional issues, anger issues and alchohol issues.
She is 37, and has no partner. She cant deal with relationships, and messes up every one she was ever in, but she is afraid to be along, and just wants to meet someone.

She started counselling last year, but the councellor asked her leave as she felt my sister had to many problems to sort out (some counsellor)

She is just after ringing me in hysterics, as the latest man in her life has dumped her (after 2 dates), as he said she was too much of a handful!!

I really think this could be the final straw for her. She has booked herself in to see her doc this afternoon, but i dont know if she will last that long. None of my family members have their phones on, and i am unable to leave work, i am in a panic.

This is a very shortened version of the full story, with lots of details left out. i should just add that she doesnt nessecarily need a man in her life, but because of these failed relationships, all her other problems seem to come to the surface

I just feel her head is ready to explode, she cant cope anymore, and i dont know what to do with her.

Im also scared for myself, we had a pretty **** childhood, and my brother has already gone through one of these nervous breakdowns, now my sister, whats the chances i will be next?

Your sister wont get a partner if she thinks every potenial date is going to be a partner for life!! I would say she is coming on too heavy

InReality

Unregistered wrote: »

We all supported my brother and he is good now.

I'd keep this in mind.
Its possible to get through these things.