Maintanence/Mortgage etc

Johnny_Dread

Hi,

Writing on behalf of a sibling.

My sister recently asked her husband to leave, he was a verbally and emotionally abusive man and she and especially her children were suffering because of it.

Anyhoo thats besides the point. My sis is now rearing her two children alone (but in a far better enviornment than before) and is struggling finacially.

Her income is approx 700 (no lone parents allowence etc as yet because they are not formally seperated) per month but her outgoings ammount to approx 2200 per month (absolute minimum, heat, ESB, food, phone and mortgage). He earns in the region of 3600 per month but is only willing to give my sis 1200 per month (she has been very magnanimous about visitation, he's allowed to see both children on both Sat and Sun every week).

The main problem she now faces is losing her house. It is a very immidiate problem and unfortuantely her husband has just told her to give up the house abd go back to living with my parents (who dont have either room and are getting on a bit, but would nonetheless have her back no problems), my sis and her husband have agreed to an agreed seperation but mediation wont take place for another two months or so.

So in a roundabout way my real question is, is my sis entitled to more from her former partner? Surely maintanence includes providing a roof over his childrens heads as well as all the other neccessities!

Thanx in advance!

Also any links to anyone who could give us good legal advice would be greatly appreciated. The whole seperation and its involved issues are a tangled, jargon riddled minefield and anyone who could both simplify things and also lay out chronologically the best course of action (with immediate neccessities first) would hepl a lot.

Nevyn

She needs to explain the situation to the mortguage holder and get them to give her a break on the mortguage until she gets her single parents allowance which can take 3 months, she should also do the same with the bills.

IsThatSo?

With regard to social welfare entitlements ask here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=861

The posters there might have some advice to help increase her income

MILF

I feel so bad for your sister. Its an awful situation to find yourself in.
I think this might help though....

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements

Hope this helps!!

Dfens

MILF wrote: »

I feel so bad for your sister. Its an awful situation to find yourself in.
I think this might help though....

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements

Hope this helps!!

Yes, get in contact with your local Citizens Information office.
There is this too - I'm not well up this but I do recall hearing something about the family home being protected (i.e. family not being made homeless) if something like this happened.

foodie1

Not all lenders will allow a break in mortgage payments, mine didn't. I was there this time last year and the first year is the worst. Priority 1 is holding onto the family home, it's in his interest to do that too.

Not easy to simplfy things but she needs to inform her lender of her change in circumstances. From my experience they are quite understanding of these matters. Communicate a payment plan to ESB, Gas, phone etc (again I found them very helpful once I kept them in the loop).

I know maintenance is only relevent to the individual situation but I don't think what he is paying is unreasonable... maybe I'm just bitter!

My one bit of advice is please please don't link maintenance to visitation to the children though, separate issues.

Mediation is worth waiting for but only if both parties are willing and open to it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though, it's a hard slog but there is nothing better than gaining that independence and being free from a rotten relationship.

Finally, if at all possible, keep the solicitors out of it.

I wish her all the best

ntlbell

he's paying about double what a district court will award

if she takes him to court she'll more than likely end up with a lot less.

I'd take his hand off and be delighted to be getting the 1200

Johnny_Dread

Thank you all for the advice and links. Was talking to her today and she is meeting with her mortgage lender next week, I'm going to help her out with her mortgage too so hopefully something will come of it.

Hadn't heard about talking to ESB etc about payment plans etc so that great advice.

Really, thanx a lot guys. Love my sis and her little'un to bits and couldn't face seeing them losing their home. You've all been a great help.

Moonbeam

1200 sounds very generous to me but if they have a huge mortgage and she needs to solely repay it it would not go far.
1900 a month sounds like grand amount before creche and mortgage expenses.
She can get single parents tax credit if they split up too.

I hope stuff works out for her.

The Corinthian

Johnny_Dread wrote: »

she has been very magnanimous about visitation, he's allowed to see both children on both Sat and Sun every week

I don't understand why access on two days per week is magnanimous. It's his children and unless he is in any way a danger to them, he really has as much right to spend time with them, as they do with him, as she does.

The main problem she now faces is losing her house.

Get her to go to the bank and renegotiate payments. Additionally get her to go to MABS as they can advise her on getting on top of her cash flow problems.

She also needs to get herself to the DSW to find out what she can apply for and what she needs to do to qualify for it.

MojoMaker

1200 a month :eek: 1/3 of his take home pay :eek: Holy f*ck.

Magnanimous? :eek: Is he seeing his kids 50% of the time? That's magnanimous. Twice a week for a few hours. Holy f*ck :eek:

As her brother, for the sake of the children, and to be honest FFS, get in there and knock some sense into her. Jebus Christ.

The Corinthian

MojoMaker wrote: »

1200 a month :eek: 1/3 of his take home pay :eek: Holy f*ck.

It's her husband - or did you think that other than 'the big day out' there's nothing more to it?

Personally, I think he could be asked to pay more if it went to court.

Johnny_Dread

...I dont want this to get personal. Every couples seperation is different and the circumstances surrounding said seperations are unique. I'm not gonna get into the reasons i see 2 days a week access as very reasonable given the circumstances in which the marrage ended. My sis was very brave and ended it for the sake of her childrens emotional future. Believe me if you knew the guy you'd think two days was more than reasonable.


Anyhoo for those who have decided to give me the info I asked for, thank you very, very much its been very helpful. My sis said she's had the best nights sleep last night in about 3 months.

Cheers.

Mutley2009

make sure she contacts the revenue so that she is taxed as a one parent family, this should help increase her earnings (if she's currently being taxed as a single person)

Whynotme

She can also apply for Family Income Supplement if she works more than 19 hrs per week. Has she applied for a medical/Gp card? Have they gone to mediation? This can be very helpful for sorting out realistic arrangements regarding Maintenance & Access.