Being used?

LegacyUser

ok there's this girl - isn't there always - and we had been good friends for a while, she then told me she had feelings for me whilst she had a boyfriend - why i don't know - and i let it be didn't want to come between them. anyways we stayed friends until they broke up at christmas. now she's moving away in june to work so we agreed that we wouldn't get into anything serious and i was fine with this.

we continued being friends but it's getting difficult for me, we'd talk how our days went and i'd be like my was good how about yours? she'd say that work was getting her down, she's tired etc. and that she'd like to do something. i offer to say like go to the cinema or a walk or just a drive or coffee with her you know just as friends but she'd always fob me off, go for a walk - it's too cold, go to the cinema - i'm too tired, go to get a bite to eat - already eaten.

we also texted a lot, and she would reply like lightning to them, then after about 3-4 texts she'll stop completely, without a word of saying ohh i'm busy at work or i have to do x, y or z.

recently though, she had a huge fight with one of her friends, and of course i got the whole story and she's right about the whole thing, but now it's like all we talk about is her friend and how much she's a bitch etc etc etc. i try and change the subject, saying time will heal it, you both will be grand etc etc, and i get yea maybe, and then continues on talking about the friend.

i've tried once again to take her mind off her friend as i know she's deeply upset about it, i've mentioned going for coffee, a drive all the things i mentioned above and i don't get reply backs, for about 3-5 hours and then i'll get a text saying "hi" and nothing else. to top it off she will have gone over to another friends house and watch a movie, tv or whatever.

i pretty much know the answer but thought i needed to write this down and just post it but am i being used? cause it sure does feel like it.

Diddler82

Classic case of someone just looking for some appreciation from someone other than her Ex at the time and you were the easy target.

She has no interest in you and is using you to fill the void left by her ex to an extent.

Just ignore her from here on in. She may try and make further contact with you but for your own sake its not worth.

We have all been caught out by this in the past, pull the plug now as you are wasting your time.

ManOfMystery

Yup, been in same situation myself, sorry to be blunt but she's using you as a crutch. Move on and free your time up and you'll find a girl who appreciates you and doesn't need you around just as a sympathiser when she feels like it

Wagon

She's using you. delete the number and tell her to **** off when she asks for an explaination. thart isn't friendship, it's just bollocks.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Knew a girl exactly like that in school. They always have redeeming initially charming features and float from friend to friend. They can be fun just don't see them as proper friends.

tbh

Unregistered wrote: »

ok there's this girl .

if the girl was a guy, would you be sticking around so long, having been treated so badly?

cantdecide

+1 to all of the above. We've all been there.

Look OP, there's no way to win in these situations. Just give yourself enough self respect to stop losing to her. Pursue your own happiness and leave her do whatever it is that she wants to do...

LegacyUser

You seem to have just written the clarity you need in this situation.


There is an old saying, there is nothing more attractive than a strong confident man or woman,

if you start to treat yourself with the respect others will be attracted to you,


breaking ties with negative people can be hard because your used to allowing them to manipulate you but all you have to do is change your consciousness and the rest will follow.

Good luck, Out with the old and make way for the new!