Personality clashes

LegacyUser

I'm quite, do more thinking than talking. I don't watch much tv(to most peoples horror) I like books and 'real' music. I prefer being honest but not brutality rather than humour people.

I moved back near home(my own place), I just can't seem to get along with my fathers girlfriend and her family, never had a problem before but I never saw them that much.

The family don't so much as talk as shout, I can't stand loud noises(don't even like clubs because of it). I feel they talk at me rather than to me as well. They also never stop, at any one time 2/3+ of them will be talking. They don't seem to listen, I find if I say something whoever I said it to will stop for a second until someone else asks them something and they completely ignore me. It might be all they seem to be interested in is how they look, money and what they did last night or any of the other nights.

I'm sure they can say things about me but I have tried to join in with them but I then just feel exhausted. I'm always left feeling agitated and I suppose like an outsider no matter what.

At this point I'm tired trying and even for my father to ring me I don't like answering the phone because it actually sounds like I'm on speaker phone, I can hear everybody talking in the background and I have to shout at him so he can hear. I'm never going to be able to blend with them but I can't avoid them I don't know what I can do.

Kevster

If you feel that the situation is rather hopeless, then 'extract' yourself from it and move on with your life. Why carry this weight around with you? tell yourself that you don't deserve to be dealing with this situation and just move on with your life. Life IS short, okay? Don't delay/procrastinate about stuff like this if it is only depressing you.

cafecolour

Well, they're a family, and have been interacting with each other like this for ages, so you're going to be an outsider. It's not going to malice, just force of habit.

That said, you can't be friends with everyone, be polite but minimize your time with them. Chat for a little bit too be polite and then excuse yourself and go read. If someone asks, just say you're more of an introvert/bookworm, etc.

And, of course, don't come off as snobby if you want to stay on good terms - when someone is extolling the virtues of Katy Perry, a simple "That's not really the type of music I listen too" will do, not "I don't listen to that mainstream ****e, I listen to 'real' music!"

Why exactly do you feel like you are stuck interacting with them all the time.

martdalto

My OWN family are like that, and I completely understand where you are coming from. I really do get aggitated if I'm in the house for too long!

My mother shouts, at everyone! We're are all adults now, but she still treats us like we're children and that she has to shout at us to do anything or we won't do it!

Everyone in our house talks over each other, very loudly... obviously gets louder the more people in the house, because there's more competition to be heard!! Even the phone rings very loud on an, extra, added internal bell in the living room!!

I can feel my blood pressure rising whenever I visit, but I stay as long as is polite and then I come home... and take a few deep breaths as a drive out the gate.

As someone else mentioned, try to limit your time with them. Stay long enough to be polite, and then make your excuses. To be honest, they'll all be so busy shouting over each other that they'll hardly notice you were there (or left!)

But do know that once you are gone, they will probably be thinking what an "odd" sort you are..., they may never actually say it out loud though.. they mightn't have time!!

Karen09

i might be very wrong but you seem really really sad. if this is the case then dont put yourself in that position. i wouldnt block the family completely out, cause in the long run u might regret this, maybe just toughin up and take the phone calls, for the sake of a few minutes. i dunno ,u only no wat is best for urself, but from previous experiences i have found it better to take myself out of certain situations that dont allow me be myself.

Overheal

I'd have donned my ass hat and let them know what I thought by this stage. Why waste so much energy failing to tolerate it? If you're already at the point where you are so fed up that you don't want to talk with your dad then what are you accomplishing? what do you have to lose?