Friend problem

LegacyUser

Looking for other peoples opinion on an issue I am having with one of my best friends:

2 weeks ago I mentioned to him that some of the other people we hang around with seemed to be a bit pi**ed off with me since we came back from holidays and I was wondering why. He told me that he heard from one of them that I was pi**ing everyone off while away( I wont go into details of why and how ) and that a few of them said that something I did was ridiculous. I was obviously shocked that my mates were backstabbing me so I asked him who said it and he said he couldnt tell me as they are his friends aswell.
He is one of my best mates and I tell him everything and he has confided in me about things , I would always look out for him ,and so I cant understand why he would tell me half a story and leave me wondering. I am very pi**ed off with him now and havent been in contact. Good friends dont do this sort of thing, he knows I wont say it back to the person but I really should know.
My question is -should I accept the fact he wont tell me and stay friends or should I just not contact him again, this issue will not go away for me anyway, any advice appreciated.

gudbuzz

hey,
id look at it this way this guy is trying to be a good mate by letting u no wots been said behind ur back already its not his fault that u cant piece it together to know who said wot! he prob doesnt want to rock the boat by 'backstabbing' the other guys. maybe its better of if u dont no who it is anyway, maybe just try to understand why theyre annoyed in the first place.. dont be pissed of with ur mate for not telling u who said wot.. u dont want to alienate him too!.. everything will prob blow over soon anyway thers always some b*tching after holidays!

who007

Unregistered wrote: »

Looking for other peoples opinion on an issue I am having with one of my best friends:

2 weeks ago I mentioned to him that some of the other people we hang around with seemed to be a bit pi**ed off with me since we came back from holidays and I was wondering why. He told me that he heard from one of them that I was pi**ing everyone off while away( I wont go into details of why and how ) and that a few of them said that something I did was ridiculous. I was obviously shocked that my mates were backstabbing me so I asked him who said it and he said he couldnt tell me as they are his friends aswell.
He is one of my best mates and I tell him everything and he has confided in me about things , I would always look out for him ,and so I cant understand why he would tell me half a story and leave me wondering. I am very pi**ed off with him now and havent been in contact. Good friends dont do this sort of thing, he knows I wont say it back to the person but I really should know.
My question is -should I accept the fact he wont tell me and stay friends or should I just not contact him again, this issue will not go away for me anyway, any advice appreciated.

Seems you already know what you did so were they fair to be p***ed off at you in the first place - is the only issue I see here..

poisonated

I agree.sometimes its hard to realise your mistake.Do they have a right to be p.ssed off?I was in a similar situation myself last summer.I was stressed out and I ended up acting the bo..ox now and again so when we came back I said sorry to them.I suppose my point is if for whatever reason you did end up acting the p.... you need to come clean and appolagise maybe buy them a round of drinks to say sorry.By the way Im not saying you were because frankly I have no idea whether your friends were justified in saying this stuff.
anyway these things happen Im sure it will blow over.Well hopefuly it will anyway.Good luck.

R.D. aka MR.D

Don't punish your friend for a difficult situation that nothing to do with him.

He is doing his best, telling you that yes in fact people were annoyed and not completly betraying the others by saying who.

In a situation like this it is normally the feelings of a whole froup being expressed by the 2 or 3 who are most vocal so it wouldn't really matter anyway.

Be lucky you still have a best friend apologise to him for not being in contact and then apologise to your other friends and hopefully they'll live and let live.

cafecolour

Sorry, gonna side with your friend on this one. If it was one person spending malicious rumours, then it would be one thing. But it sounds like a group of your friends were unhappy with your behaviour, not a specific one. He names a name, it'll will just escalating the drama and splinter all his friends.

Honestly, you shouldn't have put him in the middle of you and your other mates. You need to talk to the mates that are pissed with you yourself - you know who they are anyway, since you singled them out originally as irritated.

If you want to clear the air and get on with things, head up to them and say "look, ye have been asking pissed with me. I know I was acting the bollocks last week, apologies." If you want to argue it out, don't even let on that you know what the prob is and go up to one of 'em and ask "Why have ye been acting pissed with me?" and let them tell you.

minidazzler

From your post, I gather that you did what they are p*ssed off about. How about apologise to your other friends for doing what you did, apologising to your best friend for putting him in a sh*tty situation, and all of ye moving on.

Simple as really.

Cormb

I think your friend is probably trying to do his best for all concerned. If you wanted to resolve this he probably has given you as much info as he can.

If you think your other friends are justified in being annoyed, perhaps an apology or attempt to make ammends may assist in getting over this issue.
Either way talking to them directly about it may be the best way to proceed.