Brain exhausted!

LegacyUser

simple question....broken up from the ex 8 months now, yet still think about and miss her everyday. she broke up with me. my brain is melted with always thinking bout her, need to stop thinking bout her but cant...when will this ever pass or how do i stop it....holding me back at this stage...i loved her!!!!

idontknowmyname

why did she break up with you? you obviously haven't gotten closure for yourself on this. Have you kept in touch?

poindexter

http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-love.htm

LegacyUser

op here, broke up because she wanted different things from me in the relationship. together nearly 5 years, have a million great memories with her. i can accept we where not meant to be, hard as that is, just can't stop myself thinking about her when i have any time to myself. barely keep in contact with her....saw her at the weekend for the first time in months! i do miss her alot though!

pwd

It's easy to idealise something when the reality is no longer present to confront you with its flaws. As Phil Lynott put it, "If that girl don't wanna know...forget her" You're just wearing yourself out on this. Time to draw a line under it.

LegacyUser

op here, i wanna draw a line under it....really really do, can't stop my mind wandering though, it wrecks my head!!!

cafecolour

Not being over a 5 year relationship after 8 months is pretty normal IMHO, but def start tackling it more aggressively so you're still not dwelling on her in 5 years.

Cut all contact. Completely - any contact often sets you back to square one unless you are mostly over her. If she's been trying to "stay friends", simply tell her "look, talking with you is too painful and it's keeping from moving on, I need to cut all contact for the time being."

If need be, even hide/get rid of any major reminders. Hide the pictures, take the music you associate with her off your iPod, etc.

Finally, make yourself as busy as possible. Work, exercise, join clubs and take up new hobbies. If you're more of a homebody, immerse yourself in a video game for a while, or rent a bunch of seasons of a television show on DVD (get mates hooked on it to so you can have company). Anything to keep distraction up and your mind off her.

Eventually it'll get better, you'll find someone new, and your ex can mostly be a nostalgic memory instead of a painful one.

poindexter

Unregistered wrote: »

op here, i wanna draw a line under it....really really do, can't stop my mind wandering though, it wrecks my head!!!

and there lies the problem, YOU CAN stop your mind from wandering to her. it's natural i think that you still think of her and remember all the good things, but how much of your life are you going to let pass you by while thinking of her???
when you hear yourself starting to think of her, tell yourself to shut up, shout stop in your head, and have somewhere else to take your mind to. tell yourself when the thinking starts, "thats not like me anymore, next time i intend to...." in here put a positive thought along the lines of "...i'm a confident and happy person who is enjoying every minute of my life". sounds a bit cheesy, you can put your own slant on it though and use words that are relevant to you at the time. the main thing is that you say you can't stop your mind wandering to her, as long as you continue to say that then you will always allow your mind to wander to her.

liberal

Unregistered wrote: »

simple question....broken up from the ex 8 months now, yet still think about and miss her everyday. she broke up with me. my brain is melted with always thinking bout her, need to stop thinking bout her but cant...when will this ever pass or how do i stop it....holding me back at this stage...i loved her!!!!

change ur life, there is a hole in ur life now, u must recreate ur life, take a college course or some other big change, give up fags and drinking become a health freak, learn a new language! buy a car, get excited about change