My in-laws don't like me

LegacyUser

l ve big problem with my inlaws they hate my , cos lm not irish , they told me to f..... to my country, and that l d washed her son mind and he married me.... dont know what to do more, but my life is hell, cos my husband dosnt stand to them ... but he is telling me every day that he loves me...
please help ... i feel that l can live anymore...

Zaph

OP, I've moved your post to a thread of its own rather than leaving it tacked on to the end of an old thread that it had nothing to do with.

Zaph

wasper

Unregistered wrote: »

l ve big problem with my inlaws they hate my , cos lm not irish , they told me to f..... to my country, and that l d washed her son mind and he married me.... dont know what to do more, but my life is hell, cos my husband dosnt stand to them ... but he is telling me every day that he loves me...
please help ... i feel that l can live anymore...

They can feck themselves. As long as your husband loves you. You have nothing to worry about. You don't have to see them & on the plus side you don't have to invite them to your place. Unless you are living with them, then you just have to bite the bullet until you find your own house.

CDfm

Thats a bit harsh OP. If they are so blatantly anti-you you shouldnt leave them inside your door and be clear about it as your home should be immune from this.

I am not saying to ask your husband not to see them as he may have become more confident after meeting you and that part they wont like and respecting his wife may be part of that behaviour that he has to work out for himself.

If you werent foreign though they would probably have another excuse.

Your husband is probably finding it new standing up to his family but that doesnt mean you should compromise your standards by accepting abuse yourself personally or in your home.

KittyeeTrix

Unregistered wrote: »

l ve big problem with my inlaws they hate my , cos lm not irish , they told me to f..... to my country, and that l d washed her son mind and he married me.... dont know what to do more, but my life is hell, cos my husband dosnt stand to them ... but he is telling me every day that he loves me...
please help ... i feel that l can live anymore...

To hell with them,
Your husband should probably stand up to them but that is sometimes easier said than done. Family dynamics can be very complicated and some people just cannot cope with the situation of conflict. It doesn't mean that he agrees with them so don't let that come between ye...
You are not married to them , just you remember that and the best way of getting them back in the long term is by keeping your marriage strong and ignoring them morons:D
Don't argue with your husband if you can over this situation as you will only be playing into their devious little hands..
You know the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones.........."
Remember he is with YOU and not THEM!!!!!!

LegacyUser

Tell your husband that if they are not nice to you, you won't visit with them. If he won't stand up for you in front of them, this is the only solution I can see.

Maybe over time they will come around, but I wouldn't waste my time on people who say nasty things to your face.

carolinespring

just remember your husband loves you, try not to take it personal. I found with my In-laws it wouldnt have mattered if I was mother teresa they still would hate me as I took there son away (which of course was not true) I was called every name under the sun. It got so bad that my husband didnt inite his sister to our wedding as he felt she would ruin our day. It was totally his wishes to have it like that and he has never been forgiven for it. We are now married 5 years and together 9 bit his mother still dislikes me and makes it clear she dose but is happy to call me when she needs anything. Everytime I see her (at least once a week) I smile and chat 90 to the dozen about all kinds of rubbish and would never let her is how unhappy she had made me over the years (so much so that I put on 7 stone due to stress and unhappiness) Thankfully my husband sees what a cow she is and is always on my side but I need him to have some sort of mother/son thing for his own sake. As bad as she is I would not have my wonderful husband if it wasnt for her. My advice would be to see her but try to keep it out of your own home as much as possible and NEVER let her/them see they are getting to you. Try not to bitch to much to your husband about them, thats what friends and this thread is for. At this stage in my life my in-laws (or should that be out-laws) dont bother me most of the time. I have great friends and a husband I would die for so it there loss that they are missing out on a wonderful daughter/sister-in-law. It had worked in my favour to get my husband to keep them in his life but I make sure they dont know anything but the good stuff and it kills them. I hate to say it but sometime you have to play the game.... Best of luck and let us all know how you are getting on AND REMEMBER IT YOU WHO HE MARRIED AND LOVES.:):):)

carolinespring

How are you getting on with the in-laws now?