Do I try and get over someone...not sure if i can!

LegacyUser

Hiy everyone..id rather go anon for this.

This post is going to just come out making me sound like a little whiney immature child,but it is upseting me so please keep those sort of thoughts to urself! (unless its constructive criticism, cause i could probably do with a good old mega dose of that)

Summary... I'm 19 and I'm basically madly in love with one of my friends. Have been for probably about 4 years (we've been friends since we were about 13, we live near eachother). We've had our ups and downs, but from the age of me being 14 to just a few months ago... we were extremely close. He's been one of few constant friends through my life(a short one, i know i know) so I trust him with anything. (well for some reason the trust is fading slightly, that also worries me a bit).

But basically, I need to get over him. I don't know if he knows how I feel, but I'm almost 100% sure he does NOT feel the same way about me. Tbh, he told me about some lass he actually really liked a while ago, dunno if he still does but nothing happened. It's not good for me, it's not healthy. But the problem is, basically for the last few years... i've talked to him nearly everyday! Even if I didn't have these feelings, i'd still love him to bits as a friend.I'd miss him like crazy. Any guy I meet, gets compared to him. Hence... no successful relationships - I end up freaking out and just ending anyhting before it gets a chance to start.

At times I have a bit of a dramatic personality, and I know its not really a very attractive thing! I over read things... sometimes I think things are so strong between us.. and then I feel like we're drifting apart. Sometimes I think maybe I should just stop talking to him, and see if he actually misses me when I go...we've been constant in eachothers lives.

When we were younger... we were sorta like.... a couple on our estate. We were known for always being closer than everyone else.... He wouldnt like if i went off with the others guys even just as friends and stuff. There WAS something there. I just became very stressed over the last year or two, and maybe I just showed him TOO much of me.. but then again he knows everything.

So.. after my rammble (thanks for letting me get it all out).

What do I do with myself?

Otis Driftwood

The only way you are going to "get over him" is by getting closure.
Closure will come when you tell him how you feel.
Simple as that.

I'm almost 100% sure he does NOT feel the same way about me

You wont know until you ask.
If he was interested in you how would you expect him to act?
Fawning over you,long lustful glances?

Doesnt happen like that for the most part.

Its well documented that men can be kinda slow on the pick up when it comes to reading signals from women.Ye have been best friends for a number of years.Maybe he thinks that you only want friendship cos you havnt indicated otherwise.

I would advise throwing caution to the wind and telling him how you feel.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if?

Best of luck to you.

Munster_Gal

I agree with the above poster. Just ask.
At least that way you'll know. If he does feel the same then brilliant. However, you need to know. At least once you do you can move on from there.
Best of luck with it

LegacyUser

I just don't know if it's a silly can of worms to open...it could wreck everything.

I know guys sometimes aren't great on picking up on things...but i just thought i'd sort of be able to tell how he felt.

Otis Driftwood

Doesnt work like that.I presume he is of similar age to you?
Im 29 and still have a bit of a hard time reading womens intentions so God knows what its like for a 19 year old.
As for opening a can of worms,that is always the danger.Will the close friendship be altered if he isnt interested?
Its a consideration and it is a bit of a risk but nothing worth having is easy.
You have to decide yourself if you would rather know or leave things as is and hope that he makes a move.
Personally I would lay it on the line and let the chips fall where they may.I would say that you should end up regretting what you do,not what you dont.

LegacyUser

Yeah he's a year older than me. I dunno.... see things are good at the moment(except for the fact that i basically love the guy and he doesn't know.. ehem) , like we're close, we talk every day, he's one of few people who knows literally everything about me.

I don't know if it'll be altered. The problem is... I'm not sure how to get past all this.. without cutting contact.

Tricky one.
Best advice is to go the tell him route.
If you are that close it will be a huge relief to you.

If he's not into you but accepts this then it's win win as long as you can live with the fact that eventually he will be with someone other than you.

Reading between the lines thats going to break your heart anyway when it happens unless you tell him.
At least he will know then the extent of the problem for you and hopefully know why or understand the reason why you may not be able to cope with him getting with someone else.

If he's half the friend that you think he is,then he'll find a way round the situation with you.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

Tricky one.

Reading between the lines thats going to break your heart anyway when it happens unless you tell him.

Basically yep.

Thanks for the advice everyone