want to build self-esteem-tips?

confusedgirl

my main problem is that I'm quite an intense person. when I'm happy, I'm high in the sky but when I'm sad, I honestly get quite suicidal. Much of my time is spent reigning in my extreme nature. I probably should state from the outset that there is a long history of alcoholism down through the generations on my father's side (which explains a lot of my compulsive nature). I've begun going to Al-anon to try and deal with the effect of family alcoholism on my personality and reactions. I'm quite "codependent"-its the best word to describe it but I hate labels all the same. I know al-anon works but its so slow. any suggestions of things I can do in the meantime to build my self-esteem up?

I'm going to go back to weight watchers so I intend exercising/eating well etc. I also want to start socialising more in the summer when my finals are over. I went to therapy but it didnt give me the tools to be a different person. Don't get me wrong-theres plenty of good things about me, it's just that I have to reign it all in so much that my strengths can become weaknesses really. I hate this all-or-nothing nature and really want to chill out a bit!!:P I feel I'm really stuck in a rut in my life. I keep reacting in the same negative ways. When I apply the 12 steps to my life, its great but its such discipline! and 24/7 too! i guess i do want "an easier, softer way" as they say. I know there isnt such a thing but I would like to try a few different things out to chill out more and generally enjoy life more. I have considered joining clubs etc too to try and liven things up a bit. I really do want to take responsibility for my life but my life has been like a see-saw of emotions, up and down all the time and I don't know if I can take the constant rollercoaster anymore.I'm not suicidal but things definitely need to change in my life all the same.

G-Money

Howdy,

Interesting post. I can identify with some aspects of it myself. I have a lot of self-esteem issues and it's probably accurate to say I have quite low self-esteem. I'm not totally sure what the basis is for it, but it's definitely there. I am somewhat overweight so I'm guessing that's a big element in it - pun intended . There's also other aspects of my life that I feel like a failure in so I guess that just add's fuel to the fire.

I'm not a psychologist but I think there are certain steps you can take that might help you feel better, or at least feel more consistent. You mentioned you are going to start weight watchers. I'm going to assume from that, that you want to lose some weight and that you are going to start doing some exercise too. That's a good start. If those are areas that you feel need work, both are simple ways to do it. I joined weight watchers myself last summer and it's good to have other people there who are trying to lose. You might find yourself getting a bit competitive though when you see other people losing weight and you want to "beat" them, I know I did

I think you also mentioned maybe joining clubs and stuff like that. My own opinion is that in society there's a lot of people who join clubs and take courses not necessarily because they want to, but because it's almost become an expected thing. Its like there's a check list: job, own house, car, partner, some course. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm just saying make sure it's something you want to do, and not a case that you feel you are expected to.

I read a good book recently called "The Secret". It's about the law of attraction and how like attracts like. The theory is if you spend all your time thinking about what you DON'T want, that's ultimately what comes into your life. Instead, it says, you should think about what you DO want. It's written in such a way that it's very convincing.

My opinion is that it can only be a good thing to read something like that. If it turns out to be true, happy days. If not, the worst thing that can happen is that you are just thinking positively all the time, again which is good.

I also read another book called "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. It's another good book, and is all about how we let our fear and indecision hold us back and how to get past those.

Anyway, I don't know if any of this helped but I hope it does.

PS: Incase you are wondering why I'm awake at 4.50am, it's because I'm getting ready to watch the live Formula 1 from Melbourne. So I'm not drunk

Joey the lips

Hi Confused girl. I am not sure what you want from reading yourpost I am just getting that you want to build self esteme from your title.

Its interesting that you experience highs and lows and this is one of the sympt of low self esteme. Its good your going to alanon keep this up. There is no time limit on counselling.

I would talk to my councillor if I were you about the low self esteme its a common problem. It is also something that takes time to deal with. Unfort self esteme is something that you must build up in yourself so all people will be doing is giving you opinions.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Read " A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Your ego is causing you to feel bad, not your body, eliminate your ego and get healthy.