Guilt over homeless girl

dorothygale

So tonight, a few minutes ago, I was in Dublin city center. As I got in a taxi, I noticed a young girl bedding down for the night in some blnkets outside a closed shop. It's cold outside tonight and as the taxi was leaving I thought to myself I should offer her my couch for the night.

I then did nothing. I starting fearing that if by doing so I could leave myself open to being robbed or at the very least she would think I was some sort of pervert or something and I would be embarrased. She could have been some sort of drug addict, but she could have also just been someone down on thier luck. I live alone, and I don't own very much worth stealing. Times are tough and we have to help one another.

I have always felt that the way to help people like this is to just help them, directly. To do what you can, even if that means taking a risk.

Did I do the right thing by doing nothing or should I have offered her my couch?

Ass

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

easyeason3

I've often thought like you did & to be honest it's easier to walk away.
If you offer her money where will it go?
If you offer her a bed/ couch when will it end?
I would personally love to see every homeless person off the street but I can't. Simple as that.
Have you considered that if you did offer her a place for the night that she might let a friend know & before you know it there is a complete stranger in your home?
I really feel for you, because while you want to do the right thing it's not always the safe thing.

carlmango11

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

Haha, nice.

No but seriously, yeah it's sorta sad that these days you'd feel sketchy helping someone in that way. As you said they'll either spit it back in your face and call you a weirdo pervert or theres the fear that they'll betray your trust and rob your stuff for crack.

siobhan.murphy

well Dorothy,if she seemed ok u could have asked her if she would like u to get her a coffee or soup in a nearby shop,but u dont know these people so I can really answer,try not to worry about it,I was in Dublin one time and in a very pissed off mood saw a guy near the westbury begging and smoking,,i sais well if u can afford to smoke u shouldnt be begging,I thought it was funny but looking back I wouldnt like to be in that suitation

Vain

I really doubt she would of come with you. Would you trust a random stranger asking you to stay at yours if you were homeless person that no one would miss if you went missing.

Armin_Tamzarian

How young are we talking about here?

If I saw a girl like that who looked vunerable and quite young
(under 15 say).
I'd feel alot more inclined to try to help her out.

It would be madness to offer someone a bed in your home.
After encountering them while they were making a bed
out of a cardboard box at the side of the street.

If it were an option I'd gladly pay for the girl to stay a night in a Hostel
and get girl something to eat.

Not exactly life-chaging assistance I know, but if I'd like to help
in any small way that I could I suppose.

easyeason3

Vain wrote: »

I really doubt she would of come with you. Would you trust a random stranger asking you to stay at yours if you were homeless person that no one would miss if you went missing.

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

Ass

I trust you'd all have the same guilt for a homeless man? Or do you not want to get in to the homeless guy's pants?

Vain

easyeason3 wrote: »

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

I may very well be wrong just dont thing a homeless girl would trust a guy coming up to her asking her would she like a couch to stay on for the night.

Ass

From the point of view of the homless guy/girl, going home with a weirdo who offers you a night in their place is probably the first step to getting raped.

Vain

Ass wrote: »

From the point of view of the homless guy/girl, going home with a weirdo who offers you a night in their place is probably the first step to getting raped.

Raped in the ass:pac:

dorothygale

She was definately young, like 15 or 16. An adult has choices, kids don't. Children are rarely the victims of thier own bad choices, there isusually a parent to blame in my experience. I was on my own at 16 so I know it can be tough, but I was lucky enough to always have a job.

I couldn't help but think that if it was one of my sisters I would want someone to help them out.

@Ass it's amazing you haven't been banned as a troll yet.

[Deleted User]

easyeason3 wrote: »

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

easyeason3

Vain wrote: »

I may very well be wrong just thing a homeless girl would trust a guy coming up to her asking her would she like a couch to stay on for the night.

I know what you're saying ,but come on you know what I was saying.
I'm sure a homeless girl would either run a mile or try to offer a price before going to stay on a mans couch, but in fairness I wouldn't like to see a dog/ cat without a home & likewise I wouldn't like to see a person without a home.
I'm by no means comparing the two but I get a bit teary eyed looking at animals ireland so can you imagine how I'd react to a homeless human?

Rabies

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Ass

dorothygale wrote: »

She was definately young, like 15 or 16. An adult has choices, kids don't. Children are rarely the victims of thier own bad choices, there isusually a parent to blame in my experience. I was on my own at 16 so I know it can be tough, but I was lucky enough to always have a job.

I couldn't help but think that if it was one of my sisters I would want someone to help them out.

@Ass it's amazing you haven't been banned as a troll yet.

Yeah, I should totally be banned as a troll for arguing that going home with some random stranger who offers you a night in their place is a bad idea.

Professey Chin

Rabies wrote: »

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Im confused

Sharpshooter

dorothygale wrote: »

So tonight, a few minutes ago, I was in Dublin city center. As I got in a taxi, I noticed a young girl bedding down for the night in some blnkets outside a closed shop. It's cold outside tonight and as the taxi was leaving I thought to myself I should offer her my couch for the night.

I then did nothing. I starting fearing that if by doing so I could leave myself open to being robbed or at the very least she would think I was some sort of pervert or something and I would be embarrased. She could have been some sort of drug addict, but she could have also just been someone down on thier luck. I live alone, and I don't own very much worth stealing. Times are tough and we have to help one another.

I have always felt that the way to help people like this is to just help them, directly. To do what you can, even if that means taking a risk.

Did I do the right thing by doing nothing or should I have offered her my couch?

You either live very close to the city center or that was some fast Taxi driver.
/can I have his number,because he is a rarity.

On a serious note, your safety comes first,so I would say you did the right thing.
You knew nothing about this girl so you were best off leaving it.
It is far from a perfect world we live in.
/she could have been a nice girl in need of help,but then again, she might not have been.

You couldn't be the judge of that,so don't beat yourself up over it.:)

dorothygale

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

I have taken in the stray from time to time as well. Sad thing is people do things to one another that they'd never dream of doing to animal. It's a really messed up world but if we don't look out for one another it's only going to get worse. I think it's nessesary to show compassion for each other and to go out on a limb.

I just know I can't stand the idea of anyone being homeless, especially a child.

I am gonna go back and see if she'll let me buy her a bed in hostel for the night. Tomorrow I will see if I can get some sort of authority to help her out.

The whole thing just isn't right.

Soby

OP if you see her again best thing to do is a cup of soup,tea and or a blanket or something. Least you know it will be used. Give her 50 euro god knows what shes gonna spend it on whether she's 15 or 30.

dorothygale

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

If this isn't acting like a troll I don't know what is.

easyeason3

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

Look I'm a complete fool for sob stories, be it animals or people. I can't help it, it's like they're drawn to me!!!!

AlmightyCushion

dorothygale wrote: »

If this isn't acting like a troll I don't know what is.

Ass, be nice to the new people. Dorothy, please don't go around calling people trolls. It just de-rails the thread. Thanks.

Sharpshooter

Rabies wrote: »

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Link wont work.:(

Rabies

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Im confused

It will register soon. Don't worry.

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Link wont work.:(

Link works fine.

DanGerMus

Look i think we've all lost track of the real issue here...
Was she Hot?

The_Minister

Ass wrote: »

I trust you'd all have the same guilt for a homeless man? Or do you not want to get in to the homeless guy's pants?

Tbh, if the girl turns out to be a complete psycho, then a healthy male has a better chance of defending himself, against her, than against a male G'em notwithstanding.

Fighting Irish

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

I wish boards had a decent lol smiley


I want to laugh but i feel embarrassed posting this ":D"

The_Minister

Soby wrote: »

OP if you see her again best thing to do is a cup of soup,tea and or a blanket or something. Least you know it will be used. Give her 50 euro god knows what shes gonna spend it on whether she's 15 or 30.

Tbh, I've always considered that logic to be faulty.
Say the average begger makes €40 a day (the younger, cuter ones, and the very old get more).
That person will always have to spend a certain amount on food, enough to sustain themselves. Say €16 (three dirt cheap meals and what pity gets them).
The remaining €24 goes on booze/fags/drugs/whatever.

If you buy them a cup of soup or a sandwhich worth, say €4, then thats €4 that they no longer have to spend on food. Assuming they only spend €3 less then they spend €16-€3=€13 on food. The €3 is probably transferred into extra drink/drugs etc, so really, you haven't helped the situation.

Subsidising one area of their expenditure, would to my mind, also serve to subsidise the other areas of their expenditure.

DanGerMus

Pat Kenny Says "what is the FINAL SOLUTION to all these homeless can we not bring them in give them some food and a hot SHOWER"