Guilt over homeless girl

dorothygale

So tonight, a few minutes ago, I was in Dublin city center. As I got in a taxi, I noticed a young girl bedding down for the night in some blnkets outside a closed shop. It's cold outside tonight and as the taxi was leaving I thought to myself I should offer her my couch for the night.

I then did nothing. I starting fearing that if by doing so I could leave myself open to being robbed or at the very least she would think I was some sort of pervert or something and I would be embarrased. She could have been some sort of drug addict, but she could have also just been someone down on thier luck. I live alone, and I don't own very much worth stealing. Times are tough and we have to help one another.

I have always felt that the way to help people like this is to just help them, directly. To do what you can, even if that means taking a risk.

Did I do the right thing by doing nothing or should I have offered her my couch?

Ass

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

easyeason3

I've often thought like you did & to be honest it's easier to walk away.
If you offer her money where will it go?
If you offer her a bed/ couch when will it end?
I would personally love to see every homeless person off the street but I can't. Simple as that.
Have you considered that if you did offer her a place for the night that she might let a friend know & before you know it there is a complete stranger in your home?
I really feel for you, because while you want to do the right thing it's not always the safe thing.

carlmango11

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

Haha, nice.

No but seriously, yeah it's sorta sad that these days you'd feel sketchy helping someone in that way. As you said they'll either spit it back in your face and call you a weirdo pervert or theres the fear that they'll betray your trust and rob your stuff for crack.

siobhan.murphy

well Dorothy,if she seemed ok u could have asked her if she would like u to get her a coffee or soup in a nearby shop,but u dont know these people so I can really answer,try not to worry about it,I was in Dublin one time and in a very pissed off mood saw a guy near the westbury begging and smoking,,i sais well if u can afford to smoke u shouldnt be begging,I thought it was funny but looking back I wouldnt like to be in that suitation

Vain

I really doubt she would of come with you. Would you trust a random stranger asking you to stay at yours if you were homeless person that no one would miss if you went missing.

Armin_Tamzarian

How young are we talking about here?

If I saw a girl like that who looked vunerable and quite young
(under 15 say).
I'd feel alot more inclined to try to help her out.

It would be madness to offer someone a bed in your home.
After encountering them while they were making a bed
out of a cardboard box at the side of the street.

If it were an option I'd gladly pay for the girl to stay a night in a Hostel
and get girl something to eat.

Not exactly life-chaging assistance I know, but if I'd like to help
in any small way that I could I suppose.

easyeason3

Vain wrote: »

I really doubt she would of come with you. Would you trust a random stranger asking you to stay at yours if you were homeless person that no one would miss if you went missing.

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

Ass

I trust you'd all have the same guilt for a homeless man? Or do you not want to get in to the homeless guy's pants?

Vain

easyeason3 wrote: »

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

I may very well be wrong just dont thing a homeless girl would trust a guy coming up to her asking her would she like a couch to stay on for the night.

Ass

From the point of view of the homless guy/girl, going home with a weirdo who offers you a night in their place is probably the first step to getting raped.

Vain

Ass wrote: »

From the point of view of the homless guy/girl, going home with a weirdo who offers you a night in their place is probably the first step to getting raped.

Raped in the ass:pac:

dorothygale

She was definately young, like 15 or 16. An adult has choices, kids don't. Children are rarely the victims of thier own bad choices, there isusually a parent to blame in my experience. I was on my own at 16 so I know it can be tough, but I was lucky enough to always have a job.

I couldn't help but think that if it was one of my sisters I would want someone to help them out.

@Ass it's amazing you haven't been banned as a troll yet.

easyeason3

easyeason3 wrote: »

Are things gone that bad?
Jesus I get soppy if I see a stray dog/ cat never mind a human!!!
I'd feel very sad if I offered someone a place to stay, with no strings attached, out of good will & if they declined because they felt uncomfortable.

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

easyeason3

Vain wrote: »

I may very well be wrong just thing a homeless girl would trust a guy coming up to her asking her would she like a couch to stay on for the night.

I know what you're saying ,but come on you know what I was saying.
I'm sure a homeless girl would either run a mile or try to offer a price before going to stay on a mans couch, but in fairness I wouldn't like to see a dog/ cat without a home & likewise I wouldn't like to see a person without a home.
I'm by no means comparing the two but I get a bit teary eyed looking at animals ireland so can you imagine how I'd react to a homeless human?

Rabies

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Ass

dorothygale wrote: »

She was definately young, like 15 or 16. An adult has choices, kids don't. Children are rarely the victims of thier own bad choices, there isusually a parent to blame in my experience. I was on my own at 16 so I know it can be tough, but I was lucky enough to always have a job.

I couldn't help but think that if it was one of my sisters I would want someone to help them out.

@Ass it's amazing you haven't been banned as a troll yet.

Yeah, I should totally be banned as a troll for arguing that going home with some random stranger who offers you a night in their place is a bad idea.

Professey Chin

Rabies wrote: »

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Im confused

Sharpshooter

dorothygale wrote: »

So tonight, a few minutes ago, I was in Dublin city center. As I got in a taxi, I noticed a young girl bedding down for the night in some blnkets outside a closed shop. It's cold outside tonight and as the taxi was leaving I thought to myself I should offer her my couch for the night.

I then did nothing. I starting fearing that if by doing so I could leave myself open to being robbed or at the very least she would think I was some sort of pervert or something and I would be embarrased. She could have been some sort of drug addict, but she could have also just been someone down on thier luck. I live alone, and I don't own very much worth stealing. Times are tough and we have to help one another.

I have always felt that the way to help people like this is to just help them, directly. To do what you can, even if that means taking a risk.

Did I do the right thing by doing nothing or should I have offered her my couch?

You either live very close to the city center or that was some fast Taxi driver.
/can I have his number,because he is a rarity.

On a serious note, your safety comes first,so I would say you did the right thing.
You knew nothing about this girl so you were best off leaving it.
It is far from a perfect world we live in.
/she could have been a nice girl in need of help,but then again, she might not have been.

You couldn't be the judge of that,so don't beat yourself up over it.:)

dorothygale

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

I have taken in the stray from time to time as well. Sad thing is people do things to one another that they'd never dream of doing to animal. It's a really messed up world but if we don't look out for one another it's only going to get worse. I think it's nessesary to show compassion for each other and to go out on a limb.

I just know I can't stand the idea of anyone being homeless, especially a child.

I am gonna go back and see if she'll let me buy her a bed in hostel for the night. Tomorrow I will see if I can get some sort of authority to help her out.

The whole thing just isn't right.

Soby

OP if you see her again best thing to do is a cup of soup,tea and or a blanket or something. Least you know it will be used. Give her 50 euro god knows what shes gonna spend it on whether she's 15 or 30.

dorothygale

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

If this isn't acting like a troll I don't know what is.

easyeason3

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Less chance of a stray dog or cat stabbing you while you sleep, or robbing your tv/computer tbh. I'd well take a stray dog or cat in before I would a homeless person.

What planet are you people living on. Honestly...

Look I'm a complete fool for sob stories, be it animals or people. I can't help it, it's like they're drawn to me!!!!

AlmightyCushion

dorothygale wrote: »

If this isn't acting like a troll I don't know what is.

Ass, be nice to the new people. Dorothy, please don't go around calling people trolls. It just de-rails the thread. Thanks.

Sharpshooter

Rabies wrote: »

http://www.couchsurfing.com/

Link wont work.:(

Rabies

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Im confused

It will register soon. Don't worry.

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Link wont work.:(

Link works fine.

DanGerMus

Look i think we've all lost track of the real issue here...
Was she Hot?

The_Minister

Ass wrote: »

I trust you'd all have the same guilt for a homeless man? Or do you not want to get in to the homeless guy's pants?

Tbh, if the girl turns out to be a complete psycho, then a healthy male has a better chance of defending himself, against her, than against a male G'em notwithstanding.

Fighting Irish

Ass wrote: »

Can you not get your hole some other way with out preying on the vulnerable homeless?

I wish boards had a decent lol smiley


I want to laugh but i feel embarrassed posting this ":D"

The_Minister

Soby wrote: »

OP if you see her again best thing to do is a cup of soup,tea and or a blanket or something. Least you know it will be used. Give her 50 euro god knows what shes gonna spend it on whether she's 15 or 30.

Tbh, I've always considered that logic to be faulty.
Say the average begger makes €40 a day (the younger, cuter ones, and the very old get more).
That person will always have to spend a certain amount on food, enough to sustain themselves. Say €16 (three dirt cheap meals and what pity gets them).
The remaining €24 goes on booze/fags/drugs/whatever.

If you buy them a cup of soup or a sandwhich worth, say €4, then thats €4 that they no longer have to spend on food. Assuming they only spend €3 less then they spend €16-€3=€13 on food. The €3 is probably transferred into extra drink/drugs etc, so really, you haven't helped the situation.

Subsidising one area of their expenditure, would to my mind, also serve to subsidise the other areas of their expenditure.

DanGerMus

Pat Kenny Says "what is the FINAL SOLUTION to all these homeless can we not bring them in give them some food and a hot SHOWER"

dave98

Fighting Irish wrote: »

I wish boards had a decent lol smiley


I want to laugh but i feel embarrassed posting this ":D"

ye boards does need a better smiley.lol. Anyways myself and a friend had this discussion the last time in Dublin. There was a homeless man outside a fast food place begging. My friend wanted to give money, I was doubtful as I thought he looked like he was on drugs. My friend felt guilty as she thought he might be hungry. So we met half way. She bought him a coffee and a large big mac meal. When she offered it to him, he threw it on the ground and said its money he wanted. So maybe some homeless people dont want help....

But I do feel sorry for the homeless - wish there was a hostel we could donate money to and in return they give free beds for the night. I think this would be safer.

artielange

Give her some money if it make you feel better. What she does with is it is up to her. Your giving it to make her life a little easier. Maybe she'll use it for drugs maybe not and if she is maybe it will help her stop whatever she was going to do to get them. But I would'nt let her sleep at my place she might snore, and my wife would be pissed.

Capt'n Midnight

maybe get on to your local TD and find out why social services / simon community etc never have enough resources to help the homeless ?

X-Calibre

dave98 wrote: »

But I do feel sorry for the homeless - wish there was a hostel we could donate money to and in return they give free beds for the night. I think this would be safer.

Pretty sure most hostels will give you a "free" bed providing you "donate" enough money!

sdanseo

Some of the posts in this thread are a shocking example of AH has gone downhill of late. A year ago there might have been one or two, but one out of every two replies here has been sarky shíte. I know, I know, it's AH - but it would be nice to show that ye can all be mildly responsible once in a while

We're getting a little too close to TCN, like.

Anyway, on topic - dunno if I'd help out in as practical a way as offering someone stay in my home. Don't own my own but even if I did that would be overstepping the mark from both our points of view. Maybe in the country, it would be looked upon favourably?

I would certainly love to help but I would rather voulenteer my time than give the odd randomer a sandwich or a tenner. There are trained voulenteers who can differentiate between the scummers and the genuine needy, and the somewhere-in-betweens who will only use whatever they get to score heroin or the like. I can't do that, short of the nice old man you see and nowadays even then you can't be sure that your hard-earned money is going to be of good use.

I'd feel worse to be honest if I gave a tenner to a 20yo girl looking mildly down on her luck as was the expression used above, only to find a 65yo man looking like he's dying of the cold 100m down the street and have no cash left.

blow69

OP, I would like to congratulate you on having a conscience.

What you did was truly a noble act and tbh I am shocked at a lot of peoples attitudes towards homeless people. There was a thread about this a while back and the abuse directed towards the homeless was almost as bad as racism.

Yes some of them are abusive themselves, but they have had a hard life and probably suffer from a number of mental illnesses and instead of caring or feeling an ounce of sorrow, most people think of ways to degrade them even further with an 'oh-so-witty' comment they hope other people will hear and laugh along.

What are we doing when we treat fellow citizens, who happen to be homeless, as if they are nothing more than garbage?



For the record: I have done nothing much for homeless people myself. Give them a bit of change now and again. But I do not put them down and make them the butt of my jokes.

That is all!

Dr. Loon

blow69 wrote: »

OP, I would like to congratulate you on having a conscience.

What you did was truly a noble act and tbh I am shocked at a lot of peoples attitudes towards homeless people. There was a thread about this a while back and the abuse directed towards the homeless was almost as bad as racism.

Yes some of them are abusive themselves, but they have had a hard life and probably suffer from a number of mental illnesses and instead of caring or feeling an ounce of sorrow, most people think of ways to degrade them even further with an 'oh-so-witty' comment they hope other people will hear and laugh along.

What are we doing when we treat fellow citizens, who happen to be homeless, as if they are nothing more than garbage?



For the record: I have done nothing much for homeless people myself. Give them a bit of change now and again. But I do not put them down and make them the butt of my jokes.

That is all!

And your point is? What have you done for these people who can earn alot of cash a year? Poor ****ers.

Tar.Aldarion

Should chat to her for 5 or 10 minutes and decide what she is like. Ask her about herself and so on.

Exneigh

Ask her what she's wearing... the blanket hides that so you can break the ice easy enough.

Phototoxin

Unless you got a blanket and went back with it and some tea?
Once in southampton there was a guy who looked pretty emaciated so i went into a polish sandwich shop and got a bottle of water, a sammich and mars bar to go and gave him lunch. He seemed to appreciate it.

blow69

Dr. Loon wrote: »

What have you done for these people who can earn alot of cash a year? Poor ****ers.

Oh forgive me. I completley forgot that they earn alot of cash every year. That must be why they choose to live on the streets. It's way comfier out there in the cold. Foolish old me.

And I already admitted that I don't do much to help them. I'm just sick of people demoralising them.

And your point is?

What i said in my previous post...:rolleyes:

Professey Chin

Right the OP said she's goin back and hasnt been heard from since. I think we can safely assume she's dead from attempting to help the homeless.

Lillylilly

OP, I work in a service in Dublin city centre for homeless teens. We provide a hostel service- for free!

If you have concerns about the welfare of a homeless young person, you should phone the local Garda, who will then contact the Duty/ Out of Hours Social Workers (depending on whether it's day or night). These Social Workers then have the responsibility to place these young people in suitable accommodation, whether it be a hostel, residential or back with their families.

Next time you see a young person begging, you should phone Leanbh, which is a service run by the ISPCC 24/7 to prevent child begging, and aims to link them in with other services. The number is 01- 2342009. Also, if a child is actually homeless (as opposed to having just left home after a row or whatever) they will have a social worker, and will be recieving a homeless payment. This can be up to €60 for under eighteens.

There are a lot of services out there to provide for these people and is you are concerned and willing, you should give donations, as opposed to giving them money directly to a person on the street. It is always much appreciated!!
Prevention is better than cure, so try to link in with a voluntary organisation so that they can provide a better service

Sorry for the long post, hope it clears some stuff up!!

L.

Chocoholic84

hmmm I know what you mean.

Normally I'd be too scared to go near a homeless person for fear of being stabbed or whatever (that's what society is gone to now!), but in a drunken state one night I decided that all people are nice, and I decided to bring down 3 homeless people cups of tea and a pizza (this was around 3am!)

Now I could've gotten scalding tea thrown in my face but such was my "the world is nice and fluffy" mood, I didn't really think about that - I just thought I'd do something nice.

And they really appreciated it! Stayed and talked to them for a while as they drank the tea and ate the pizza - and they were so grateful that I was so glad I did it, as it's not something I'd do sober

Lockstep

The_Minister wrote: »

Tbh, I've always considered that logic to be faulty.
Say the average begger makes €40 a day (the younger, cuter ones, and the very old get more).
That person will always have to spend a certain amount on food, enough to sustain themselves. Say €16 (three dirt cheap meals and what pity gets them).
The remaining €24 goes on booze/fags/drugs/whatever.

If you buy them a cup of soup or a sandwhich worth, say €4, then thats €4 that they no longer have to spend on food. Assuming they only spend €3 less then they spend €16-€3=€13 on food. The €3 is probably transferred into extra drink/drugs etc, so really, you haven't helped the situation.

Subsidising one area of their expenditure, would to my mind, also serve to subsidise the other areas of their expenditure.

Spoken like a true PD:D

speedboatchase

Homeless girl on Talbot St?

Dyr

My auntie put up a homeless scummer girl for a while once, a friend of friends'. The bitch repeatedly stole off her, had her boyfriend up at the door having domestics etc. Got so bad my auntie had to ask her to leave (and my aunt has a heart of gold). Yer wan was later stabbed to death by her boyfriend. Theres very few hard luck cases with young homeless people IMO.

snubbleste

OP, can i ask you if that had been a young homeless man you witnessed, would you have had the same concern?

TwoShedsJackson

blow69 wrote: »

OP, I would like to congratulate you on having a conscience.

What you did was truly a noble act and tbh I am shocked at a lot of peoples attitudes towards homeless people.

What a shame you didn't actually read the OP and see that she did nothing for the homeless person in question :rolleyes:

Mr. Incognito

If everyone was in the habit of getting a breakfast roll and handing it to a homeless person every day, well, somthing o simple could make a huge difference.