Is it normal

fiona12

I don't even know if this is the right place to post, but was just wondering. I am very happily married for 12 years, but find myself that I have a bit of a thing for a mutual friend. I think about that person quite a bit and will never do anything to act on this, I just think this person is cute. Does this mean I am cheating? I love my spouse.


Just wondering if everyone feels like this at some point?

Terry

Moved from AH.

LD 50

Personally, no. I wouldn't think of it as cheating. You're allowed look, but cant touch. It'll probably pass after a while. Just try not to entertain these thoughts.
I'm sure your partner thinks like this sometimes. Or maybe not<shrug>

Otis Driftwood

Its human nature to look at/admire attractive individuals OP.You have done nothing wrong at all so dont be worrying!

cafecolour

What's the saying "Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."?

Absolutely normal. I'll guarantee you he does it too. It's why plenty of men will also look at porn, etc. after they are in a relationship as well. You can even use the thought of him to get you more turned on with your BF, etc.

That said, you can, of course, never ever say anything to your BF, and the fantasy has to remain entirely a fantasy.

MonkeyTennis

of course its normal. :-)

Totally normal! Acting on it is where the problem lies

tbh

just a crush

acontadino

this reminds me of you me and dupree

rondog

As normal/natural as having a dump after a curry

dodgyme

rondog wrote: »

As normal/natural as having a dump after a curry

thats not normal. Where are you eating?

TURRICAN

cafecolour wrote: »

What's the saying "Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."?

Absolutely normal. I'll guarantee you he does it too. It's why plenty of men will also look at porn, etc. after they are in a relationship as well. You can even use the thought of him to get you more turned on with your BF, etc.

That said, you can, of course, never ever say anything to your BF, and the fantasy has to remain entirely a fantasy.

hmmmmm
how about thinking about themselves,what you said is out of order.

Oh The Humanity

fiona12 wrote: »

I don't even know if this is the right place to post, but was just wondering. I am very happily married for 12 years, but find myself that I have a bit of a thing for a mutual friend. I think about that person quite a bit and will never do anything to act on this, I just think this person is cute. Does this mean I am cheating? I love my spouse.


Just wondering if everyone feels like this at some point?

lol Totally normal, if anything you can pat yourself on the back for getting through 12 years and only noticing someone now!

Look, dont beat yourself up, if you feel guilty just remind yourself that your husband will have had numerous crushes of his own throughout the years!

Wibbs

dodgyme and rondog, please stay on topic thanks.

Dudess

TURRICAN wrote: »

hmmmmm
how about thinking about themselves,what you said is out of order.

What do you mean?

OP, it would be unusual for such thoughts not to go through a married/attached person's head.