How do I face this man again?

LegacyUser

very embarrassing situation for me

a few weeks ago i was at a work night out, and met up with a colleague from another city, who i've known for a few years, but strictly in a work sense.

we both got quite drunk and ended up sleeping together.

during the night we were talking about our sex lives, past, current, fantasies, masturbation practices etc

i revealed more about myself than he did, unfortunately.

i havent heard from him since, which is fine, thats not an issue at all, it was a one night stand and im fine with that.

thing is, theres another regional meeting very soon, which he'll probably be at.

i'm very embarrassed at the thought of meeting him again.

he knows some very very personal stuff about me, stuff noone else knows, and im quite uncomfortable with him knowing it. comparatively, while he did tell me some stuff, it isnt as squirmingly embarrassing as what i told him.

also, within the company, he's senior to me.

how do i face meeting him again?

do i acknowledge what happened or just pretend nothing did?

i dont know how i'll handle it.

cringe cringe cringe!

SarahSassy

Just be plite to him, friendly in a non sexual sense and just excuse yourself as soon as you can... He is likely to feel a bit awkward too so dont worry about it.

Sinall

It will take guts but the best thing to do is to put a brave face on it, acknowledge him with a smile and try not to show that you are embarrassed!

These things happen, we all have our moments. He is probably more concerned about he revealed - people tend to be more focused on themselves than on other people!

JaneyP

Yes, good advice here, try and avoid him, but if confronted, just be polite and cordial. Its highly unlikely he will divulge this info to anyone else. Unless he is a total ****

Jigsaw

Maybe prior to the meeting make some sort of contact referring to what happened the last time and say that while it was fun it ought to be viewed strictly as a one off and that you'd like your relationship to remain 100% professional.

Problem with this is that he might be coming to this meeting looking forward to a second helping and if you pour cold water on that then, as your senior, he may have the potential to cause you difficulties.. That would be a worst case scenario though imo.

LegacyUser

Girl, who cares, we all have sex lives!!

Walk in there with your head held high and don't act any differently to how you normally would!

LegacyUser

Yeah, fake it till you make it, stay strong,

don't be ashamed of yourself, your young and adventurous,

He is probably more embarrassed then you are,

You both crossed the work boundary,not you on your own....

Play it cool,

And stay strong, Good Luck xxx

starchild

maybe you should make some sort of contact beforehand if you speak with him it will prob ease your mind a lot

LegacyUser

thanks for replies

if i was to contact him again before the meeting, what would i say?

im also embarrassed because i was quite drunk and i feel i didnt do myself justice, if you get me... i know i can be better in bed than i was that night!

and - how bad is this- i suggested we try it up the ass, and he said no!!

i need to just curl up and dye

Sinall

We've all had our drunken moments! Don't beat yourself up. If he was very drunk as well he might not remember everything.

If you do decide to contact him before the meeting you could try to laugh it off, or play it down. Maybe referring to it before hand would be making too much of it? Personally, I would probably leave it till I saw him, but whatever makes you feel better is the right thing for you.

sunnyside

Unregistered wrote: »

Girl, who cares, we all have sex lives!!

Walk in there with your head held high and don't act any differently to how you normally would!

I totally agree, the guy will probably love you for it, you'll probably be his favourite person in the room when ye do meet again.

Sinall wrote: »

If you do decide to contact him before the meeting you could try to laugh it off, or play it down. .

No need to avoid him, jut give him a cheeky smile then go straight back to behaving normally. It's possible to become really good friends with someone you've had sex with.

D.R Adams

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks for replies

if i was to contact him again before the meeting, what would i say?

im also embarrassed because i was quite drunk and i feel i didnt do myself justice, if you get me... i know i can be better in bed than i was that night!

and - how bad is this- i suggested we try it up the ass, and he said no!!

i need to just curl up and dye

Well i wouldn't get too upset about this, you seem like a sensible/good humoured lady, if he gets cold with you thats his problem! Anyway he must have been a fool to refuse trying it up the ass with you!!

Esel

If it comes up, tell him you were so drunk you don't remember a thing, and want to keep it that way! Maybe don't drink so much the next time, or avoid work dos for a while?

Jackeenboy

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks for replies

if i was to contact him again before the meeting, what would i say?

im also embarrassed because i was quite drunk and i feel i didnt do myself justice, if you get me... i know i can be better in bed than i was that night!

and - how bad is this- i suggested we try it up the ass, and he said no!!

i need to just curl up and dye

Did u have a pooo that day and not whipe ur A$$?? You sound like a nice girl;)

Queen-Mise

I would 100% go against contacting him before the meeting, if you do that you are crossing the work/personal boundary again.

Walk in the regional meeting, with your head held high, you did nothing wrong. Chat and talk as you normally would, acknowledge him with a hello/nod, smile and pass yourself off.

By your body language and your demeanour, you can tell him, you are not going there again.

Don't be embarressed about it, nothing wrong with sex, and to him, it could have been very normal for you to talk about that stuff you said.

On the cringeworthy bit of it, try to get it into perspective. Don't let it haunt you any longer, they are far worse things in life to worry about.

Sammag

:eek: Don't contact him before the meeting whatever you do! That's making the whole thing out to be something way bigger than it needs be.

Like some others have said, he's probably focusing on what he said to you, that is, if he's given it any thought at all.
No offence intended here, but who knows, maybe he's slept with other girls in work too over the time and doesn't see it as such a biggie.

Sure, it will be a tad awkward when you see him, but what can you do, better off to think 'screw it', you were both drunk, maybe he doesn't remember much of what you said anyway.
Just act like nothing happened, be confident and positive in your body language.
You can't turn back the clock, so just accept what's done is done and laugh it off.

Maybe if you feel awkward, think of something about him from the night that makes you giggle - aka picture his wobbly bits, or worst - that old chestnut - picture him going for a big sh*t in your loo.

Next time just try not to reveal too many 'squirmingly embarrassing' things about yourself on the first night

Best of luck!

sam34

OP - you'll just have to brazen it out im afraid, nothing else you can do.

hold your head up high and be friendly - but not flirty.

he's probably thinking that hes embarrassed about whatever he said as well.

good luck!

let us know how it goes

biko

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks for replies

if i was to contact him again before the meeting, what would i say?

im also embarrassed because i was quite drunk and i feel i didnt do myself justice, if you get me... i know i can be better in bed than i was that night!

and - how bad is this- i suggested we try it up the ass, and he said no!!

i need to just curl up and dye

I would suggest that any contact from now on is strictly business. At least until you have this whole thing behind you.
It's not the first, nor the last, time things like this has happened. I wouldn't worry.

prinz

Unregistered wrote: »

we both got quite drunk and ended up sleeping together.

during the night we were talking about our sex lives, past, current, fantasies, masturbation practices etc

Sleeping together for a drunken one night stand grand. But what possessed you to start discussing every aspect of your sex life with not even a stranger but a work colleague.... bizarre. Drink or not.

say nothing.Deny everything.Don't get drunk with him again.

Beruthiel

Jackeenboy wrote: »

Did u have a pooo that day and not whipe ur A$$?? You sound like a nice girl;)

Another comment like that one and you are banned from this forum.
b

Miss Fluff

Do not under any circumstances contact him before this regional meeting. You said he is senior to you, it would not be a good idea.

As someone else said, fake it 'til you make it. Be polite and friendly and act as you normally would. Talking about it or referring to it is only making a big deal of it and it will only make it worse.

Note to self. I'd also make sure you are looking ABSOLUTELY stunning at your next regional meeting. If he fancies you he mightn't be as inclined to go blabber-mouthing your innermost fantasies to all in sundry

LegacyUser

prinz wrote: »

Sleeping together for a drunken one night stand grand. But what possessed you to start discussing every aspect of your sex life with not even a stranger but a work colleague.... bizarre. Drink or not.

say nothing.Deny everything.Don't get drunk with him again.

it seemed like a good idea at the time!

i mentioned that it had been a while since id last had sex and the conversation kind of took off from there

as we used say in school... oh the shame!

t-ha

I think I've seen this episode! You should drop as many double-entendres etc. as you can into the meeting for a laugh.

"Yes I'm afraid we dropped the balls on that one"
"Who did we erect to lead the GAP team this time?"
etc.

PK2008

Dont worrabout it

I'd say the chances of you too sleeping together at the next work do are high

LegacyUser

PK2008 wrote: »

I'd say the chances of you too sleeping together at the next work do are high

tbh, i wouldnt mind sleeping with him again, in fact id like to!

but this time i wont go blabbing my secrets to him again

Final Approach

I have to agree that it would be disastrous to contact him before the next meeting about what happened between you. It would just increase your feelings of awkwardness and I reckon you'd probably regret it.

As has already been suggested, try to act as cool as possible during your next meeting, and try not to be too concerned about what he thought of your 'performance' or whatever. The truth is he probably as unsure as you are of how to play it when you meet next time.

Best of luck, let us know how it goes!

Dob74

Unregistered wrote: »

very embarrassing situation for me

a few weeks ago i was at a work night out, and met up with a colleague from another city, who i've known for a few years, but strictly in a work sense.

we both got quite drunk and ended up sleeping together.

during the night we were talking about our sex lives, past, current, fantasies, masturbation practices etc

i revealed more about myself than he did, unfortunately.

i havent heard from him since, which is fine, thats not an issue at all, it was a one night stand and im fine with that.

thing is, theres another regional meeting very soon, which he'll probably be at.

i'm very embarrassed at the thought of meeting him again.

he knows some very very personal stuff about me, stuff noone else knows, and im quite uncomfortable with him knowing it. comparatively, while he did tell me some stuff, it isnt as squirmingly embarrassing as what i told him.

also, within the company, he's senior to me.

how do i face meeting him again?

do i acknowledge what happened or just pretend nothing did?

i dont know how i'll handle it.

cringe cringe cringe!

Just play it cool, as if nothing ever happened.

I am sure he is as embarrassed as you.
After the 5 minutes I am sure everything will be cool.

delly

OP, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Don't contact him beforehand and just be your normal business self while interacting with him. If you hook up again at the end of the night then happy days.

I would doubt he has much interest in talking to other people about aspects of your personal life. Remember that as he is senior to yourself, then it could look bad on him professionally if it came out that you got toghether, so he has no reason to blab about it.

LegacyUser

Hi
Dont contact him beforehand.

Look absolutely stunning on the day.

Play it cool, but not cold.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

well, i just thought i'd leave an update on this situation.

he wasnt at the meeting in early april that i thought he'd be at, but i did meet him at one last week.

there was some initial awkwardness on both parts when we met, but thankfully that dissipated quickly.

we went for a few drinks after the meeting and got on great.

so great that we ended up in bed again....

this time i was considerably less drunk than the last time, so i feel i put in a good performance!

and he didnt turn down any requests this time ;-)


thanks for all the advice

sam34

good stuff OP, glad it went well.

sounds like you had a good time :D