Girls advice please - sexual issue!!

LegacyUser · 23-03-2009 7:29pm #1

Been with gf for 6 months now, been having sex for most of it though not as often as id like as we both live at home!

Im just a bit concerned that im not satisfying her. She says she cums during sex but i dont believe she is. Shes definately enjoying the sex, very wet and turned on but despite what she says i dont think she is climaxing.

Can a girl climax and it not be at all obvious to the guy, no moaning or moment where she looks lost in frenzy of sexual excitement! She doesnt masterbate herself at all, even though iv suggested she might like to, you know if she cant make herself cum how can i, but she insists she is? I know she likes me a lot so i think she's just humouring me.

I think im ok in bed as well, can last as long as i want but she gets sore and frustrated if i dont cum. I've tried oral but she isnt mad into this it seems either.Any advice on this girls? Is she cumming or not? How can i tell for sure?

Nevyn · 23-03-2009 7:54pm

Not every woman preforms like Meg Ryan when having an orgasm some women just climax
quietly.

holdmyhand? · 23-03-2009 8:03pm

ditto.

not all girls are screamers....... ya just gotta take her word for it...

LegacyUser · 23-03-2009 9:20pm

Ok i'll take her word for it so, i know not all girls scream, but im getting nothing here!! .. Is it odd she doesnt masterbate, thought most girls would..my gf seems majorly repulsed by it??

Sinall · 23-03-2009 9:49pm

Asking her has she climaxed might make her nervous. If she says she is climaxing then you have to believe her!

As you become more relaxed with each other it might become more evident to you.

collegegal · 24-03-2009 1:51am

Well the first thing I would do is stop asking her did she cum,cos my bf asks me that and it drives me nuts!! Sometimes I just say yes to shut him up! I think ur gf could have relaxing issues if she's not letting u go down on her or even willing to masterbate,I know from my own experiences,sometimes masterbating can add to the moment!! It sounds like she just can't relax,so next time,make it all about her,forget about yourself for one night,give her a massage,light candles,maybe a glass of wine will help I dunno...and work on the foreplay to zone in on her sensitive points alone, also,overtime u will get to know ur partner better and will be able to tell if she did cum or not.

Hope that helps!!

Nervous Wreck · 24-03-2009 2:42am

Unregistered wrote: »

Been with gf for 6 months now, been having sex for most of it though not as often as id like as we both live at home!

Im just a bit concerned that im not satisfying her. She says she cums during sex but i dont believe she is. Shes definately enjoying the sex, very wet and turned on but despite what she says i dont think she is climaxing.

Can a girl climax and it not be at all obvious to the guy, no moaning or moment where she looks lost in frenzy of sexual excitement! She doesnt masterbate herself at all, even though iv suggested she might like to, you know if she cant make herself cum how can i, but she insists she is? I know she likes me a lot so i think she's just humouring me.

I think im ok in bed as well, can last as long as i want but she gets sore and frustrated if i dont cum. I've tried oral but she isnt mad into this it seems either.Any advice on this girls? Is she cumming or not? How can i tell for sure?

I'd wager from your post that there's not an awful lot in this situation that is obvious to you. She's climaxing fine. You're annoying her and making her nervous by asking. I used to ask my ex that same question and then realised that it even annoyed me. Stop it.

LegacyUser · 24-03-2009 2:42pm

Yeh and its by no means normal behaviour for a girl to 'masturbate' in front of a partner, a lot of girls feel that disgusting and a man would be revolted to see such a thing.

So don't force her to do that, she is not a pron actress you know. She is a real girl.

LegacyUser · 24-03-2009 5:11pm

"You're annoying her and making her nervous by asking"

I don't constantly ask her..i just want her to enjoy it as much as me..im not asking her everytime we have sex!! In fact iv stopped mentioning anytrhing to do with it a while ago cause i figured as many have said - that it might make her nervous and not relaxed.

"Yeh and its by no means normal behaviour for a girl to 'masturbate' in front of a partner"

I meant in private, just her!

LegacyUser · 24-03-2009 5:27pm

Even if she does do it in private she will not tell you!!! lol So dont mention that to her!

Also I dont know about other girls but I never masturbated as a teenager or young woman at all, it just never occurred to me.

She sounds like she is just a private quiet girl and she prefers not to be too open about this stuff, the fact that she is so wet tells you that she is very turned on so dont worry.

shellyboo · 24-03-2009 5:34pm

Unregistered wrote: »

Yeh and its by no means normal behaviour for a girl to 'masturbate' in front of a partner, a lot of girls feel that disgusting and a man would be revolted to see such a thing.

So don't force her to do that, she is not a pron actress you know. She is a real girl.

I highly doubt there's too many men who would be revolted to watch their gf masturbate. Yes, it's a private thing and if you wouldn't be comfortable doing it, don't... but it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a way of getting to know your body better. And it's very, very normal for some people to do it in front of their partner.

OP, I think you were right to encourage her to masturbate alone, but I don't think you should keep asking her about her orgasm. IF she is having problems it will only put pressure on her. I say stop asking and start experimenting. From what you say, she sounds quite traditional in her sexual habits... maybe gently try to expand her horizons. As she becomes more comfortable, orgasm may happen for her.

However, there's always the possibility she's just not a screamer!

finbarrk · 25-03-2009 3:23pm

More than likely she is not cumming. It will take time and patience to make it happen but she will have to get doing it herself first.

collegegal · 25-03-2009 3:35pm

I am insulted by the remark made about men being revolted while their partners pleasure themselves....in my opinion, I believe it to be great that women can do that infront of their partner, if it helps and makes the experience better then why not? I know the first time I did it, yeah it was weird knowing that he was watching me, but he got turned on by seeing me do it! so I say go for that!

milod · 25-03-2009 3:55pm

collegegal wrote: »

I am insulted by the remark made about men being revolted while their partners pleasure themselves....in my opinion, I believe it to be great that women can do that infront of their partner, if it helps and makes the experience better then why not? I know the first time I did it, yeah it was weird knowing that he was watching me, but he got turned on by seeing me do it! so I say go for that!

+1 Hmm, there still seems to be many out there with fairly uptight approach to sexual relationships. I didn't know that enjoying having your boyfriend watch you masturbate (as my partner does...) qualifies you for p0rn roles...

collegegal · 25-03-2009 3:59pm

its nothing to do with p0rn roles! well...is a man going down on a woman a p0rn role? hardly!...a woman can satisfy her OH why cant she satisfy herself? People are still living in the dark ages here

ManOfMystery · 25-03-2009 4:01pm

I agree, my gf did it recently in front of me whilst we were fooling around and it was a big turn-on. No porn acting experience needed.

LegacyUser · 26-03-2009 11:02am

You have to take into consideration that your relationship is still very new.
You still have a lot to learn about each other.

I don't know if it is "happening" for your gf but there are a lot of girls out there that can't cum with just penetration alone.

It took me about a year to feel comfortable enough to tell my partner that i needed a little more help to achieve orgasam.

So my advice is to give her time to come out of her shell, if she hasn't being cumming, she will let you know when she feels a little more secure but don't make it harder for her by keep asking.

LegacyUser · 26-03-2009 7:44pm

First of I'd like to say I'm a girl and I mastrubate from time to time, am in a long term relationship and the sex is brilliant, my partner loves it if I mastrubate in front of him, but he also likes the fact that I mastrubate on my own.... Call me a P0rn star if you like, but I enjoy it and he does, so no problem there!!!!

OP I think you should have more confidence in yourself and your abilities, I wouldn't like a man that is so unsure, my man thinks he's a sex god because I make him feel that way. You might ask her to talk you through what she likes and doesn't like when in the act, you can't know what she likes if she doesn't tell you!!

By the way, I don't like it if he goes down on me, and to be completely honest, it's because he is not doing it right, so you might want to work on that.....

And lastly, if she didn't like the sex, she just wouldn't do it!!

Girls advice please - sexual issue!!

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