Looking for a new school - advice?

bnagrrl

I've been riding for about 20 years on and off. About 3 years ago I had a very bad fall, was hospitalised and had physio for a year. After I was fully healed I waited another year before getting back in the saddle. I started riding in a great school with fantastic facilities, good horses and instructors (or so I thought). My instructor really helped me start to get my confidence back, pushed me when I needed it etc etc. After about 8 months she went on maternity leave so I got a new instructor who was the complete opposite of the old one. She shouted, screamed at me, sometimes I couldn't hear the instructions because the arena was so big and she'd ask me was I stupid etc etc. She gave us a BHS print out of a dressage test before the lesson then asked us to recreate it exactly for the lesson and of course I got parts of it wrong so another screaming at ensued. I haven't been riding since all of this happened a few months ago and I feel like all the good work my old instructor did with me has been undone. I've been in touch with the manager about changing my lesson but this instructor is the only one available for advanced lessons. What to do??

byhookorbycrook

Where are you based? An instructor screaming at you, the customer ,is not my idea of fun!!

bnagrrl

bnagrrl wrote: »

I've been riding for about 20 years on and off. About 3 years ago I had a very bad fall, was hospitalised and had physio for a year. After I was fully healed I waited another year before getting back in the saddle. I started riding in a great school with fantastic facilities, good horses and instructors (or so I thought). My instructor really helped me start to get my confidence back, pushed me when I needed it etc etc. After about 8 months she went on maternity leave so I got a new instructor who was the complete opposite of the old one. She shouted, screamed at me, sometimes I couldn't hear the instructions because the arena was so big and she'd ask me was I stupid etc etc. She gave us a BHS print out of a dressage test before the lesson then asked us to recreate it exactly for the lesson and of course I got parts of it wrong so another screaming at ensued. I haven't been riding since all of this happened a few months ago and I feel like all the good work my old instructor did with me has been undone. I've been in touch with the manager about changing my lesson but this instructor is the only one available for advanced lessons. What to do??

Turn around and tell that instructor to cop herself on and start acting professionally or hop off the horse and walk out.

Post up where you are, there are some places listed in a sticky on the main page and if they don't work I am sure someone here can recommend a place for you.

Hobbidance

That's terrible bnagrrl! That's a disgraceful way for instructors to teach people. I've met far too many of these people and even though I've tried to tell them that I know the difference between shouting loud enough to be heard in a large arena and when someone is screaming at me they feign ignorance and say it's my imagination. It seems that they think if they bully people into riding properly then it's ok because it works for some people so it should be ok for everyone. Most people will put up with this because they have no other option. I've even seen kids crying and their parents telling them to calm down and just do as they're told when the child is clearly terrified. Some people also think that the better the instuctor is the more they spout fountains of abuse and criticism which to me is mind-boggling.
I did a stint of teaching in cork to help out a friend as he was inbetween instructors, one was leaving the country, one was going on materninty leave, and one or two others were going to college. While I was there observing for the first week I was amazed at the things some adults would tollerate.
After I took over a few lessons, swopped some horses and riders and started teaching these people they had no idea an instuctor could talk so much. I very rarely leave large silent gaps in lessons prefering instead to explain why it's important to be on the correct diagnal, why balance is important to horses, why they work from behind, what the bit is what it does how it works, how to use their legs properly, how it should feel when they sit right etc etc etc. They had so many questions for me in the next week that they all stayed for roughly an hour afterwards just to ask questions that they were too afraid to ask before for fear of looking stupid. Once people are enjoying themselves then they don't mind being pushed out of their comfort zone now and then because a) they pretty much understand whats going on and b) they know that I wouldn't ask them to do anything they're not ready for.

As someone who has been through a similar situation as you I know what it's like to have a very bad knock in confidence. I broke 3 lumbar vertebrae during my LC year in secondary which stopped all my show jumping and competeing and it took me quite a while to jump a fence over 1m again without having to get off and throw up. I took the fall from my own horse and, almost 4 years later, I still don't trust him like I used to even though I know he's miles better now and it kills me every time. It took me months to trust other horses that were proven grade A's that never put a foot wrong and after a while I could jump again with only the smallest flutter of butterflies. I went through alot of tears and heartache to get even halfway back to my former confidence. I wouldn't stand in the same room as a teacher that would tell me that I was terrible at jumping and should have perfect form over every single fence regardless if the arthritic old school horse I was riding had an extremely uneven canter and rode every 1.10m fence like I was going to pull her in the mouth. (yes this happened and I politely as I could, through gritted teeth, told said teacher to sod off and put the fence down before the horse or I got injured) I had been riding with these people for a while as part of a course and the teacher was brought in from some other part of the county and didn't know any of the school horses and told me that I had no idea what a contact was also that the horse I had no right to say the horse was arthritic (here's the funny part) even though we were told on the first day we entered the yard to watch the horse on colder days because she was arthritic and needed extra time warming up. These instructors who believe they know everything and that the people riding in front of them are obviously below them are really the most ignorant of all and deserve buckets of ice cold water thrown at them...

If you really can't stand your intructor then maybe try and find some schools closer to you, find out the times of the lessons and watch a few lessons. From watching them you might find somewhere new that you'd like. It's never a good idea to ask people from other schools what they think because their opinions maybe biased. They might like a bully, or a teacher who never asks you to move out of your comfort zone. A good instructor should be able to read your body language, gauge your skill and capablilty and know instinctively what you can handle both physically and mentally, and how best to teach you.

You could also take your intructor aside (try your best not to do this infront of other people as you could make things worse for yourself if she feels embarrased or ashamed) and explain to her that you don't appreciate being shouted at and even though this might work for other people you have had a serious accident in the past and you would like for her to ease up. Not to treat you as an invalid either but to keep in mind that you are willing to learn but if you're not as good as she wants you to be that you are trying.

Where abouts are you riding? Some folks on here would be happy to give you info on nearby schools I'm sure. I hope you find a solution soon as riding lessons these days are far too expense to not enjoy yourself for the time you pay for.

bnagrrl

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Where are you based? An instructor screaming at you, the customer ,is not my idea of fun!!

I live in Dublin 15. I have a car so can drive to anywhere within reason.
I used to go riding after work, it was something I enjoyed and looked forward to, not going home nearly in tears!

bnagrrl

Hobbidance wrote: »

That's terrible bnagrrl! That's a disgraceful way for instructors to teach people. I've met far too many of these people and even though I've tried to tell them that I know the difference between shouting loud enough to be heard in a large arena and when someone is screaming at me they feign ignorance and say it's my imagination. It seems that they think if they bully people into riding properly then it's ok because it works for some people so it should be ok for everyone. Most people will put up with this because they have no other option. I've even seen kids crying and their parents telling them to calm down and just do as they're told when the child is clearly terrified. Some people also think that the better the instuctor is the more they spout fountains of abuse and criticism which to me is mind-boggling.
I did a stint of teaching in cork to help out a friend as he was inbetween instructors, one was leaving the country, one was going on materninty leave, and one or two others were going to college. While I was there observing for the first week I was amazed at the things some adults would tollerate.
After I took over a few lessons, swopped some horses and riders and started teaching these people they had no idea an instuctor could talk so much. I very rarely leave large silent gaps in lessons prefering instead to explain why it's important to be on the correct diagnal, why balance is important to horses, why they work from behind, what the bit is what it does how it works, how to use their legs properly, how it should feel when they sit right etc etc etc. They had so many questions for me in the next week that they all stayed for roughly an hour afterwards just to ask questions that they were too afraid to ask before for fear of looking stupid. Once people are enjoying themselves then they don't mind being pushed out of their comfort zone now and then because a) they pretty much understand whats going on and b) they know that I wouldn't ask them to do anything they're not ready for.

As someone who has been through a similar situation as you I know what it's like to have a very bad knock in confidence. I broke 3 lumbar vertebrae during my LC year in secondary which stopped all my show jumping and competeing and it took me quite a while to jump a fence over 1m again without having to get off and throw up. I took the fall from my own horse and, almost 4 years later, I still don't trust him like I used to even though I know he's miles better now and it kills me every time. It took me months to trust other horses that were proven grade A's that never put a foot wrong and after a while I could jump again with only the smallest flutter of butterflies. I went through alot of tears and heartache to get even halfway back to my former confidence. I wouldn't stand in the same room as a teacher that would tell me that I was terrible at jumping and should have perfect form over every single fence regardless if the arthritic old school horse I was riding had an extremely uneven canter and rode every 1.10m fence like I was going to pull her in the mouth. (yes this happened and I politely as I could, through gritted teeth, told said teacher to sod off and put the fence down before the horse or I got injured) I had been riding with these people for a while as part of a course and the teacher was brought in from some other part of the county and didn't know any of the school horses and told me that I had no idea what a contact was also that the horse I had no right to say the horse was arthritic (here's the funny part) even though we were told on the first day we entered the yard to watch the horse on colder days because she was arthritic and needed extra time warming up. These instructors who believe they know everything and that the people riding in front of them are obviously below them are really the most ignorant of all and deserve buckets of ice cold water thrown at them...

If you really can't stand your intructor then maybe try and find some schools closer to you, find out the times of the lessons and watch a few lessons. From watching them you might find somewhere new that you'd like. It's never a good idea to ask people from other schools what they think because their opinions maybe biased. They might like a bully, or a teacher who never asks you to move out of your comfort zone. A good instructor should be able to read your body language, gauge your skill and capablilty and know instinctively what you can handle both physically and mentally, and how best to teach you.

You could also take your intructor aside (try your best not to do this infront of other people as you could make things worse for yourself if she feels embarrased or ashamed) and explain to her that you don't appreciate being shouted at and even though this might work for other people you have had a serious accident in the past and you would like for her to ease up. Not to treat you as an invalid either but to keep in mind that you are willing to learn but if you're not as good as she wants you to be that you are trying.

Where abouts are you riding? Some folks on here would be happy to give you info on nearby schools I'm sure. I hope you find a solution soon as riding lessons these days are far too expense to not enjoy yourself for the time you pay for.

Thanks for that post, some great advice there. You sound like my old instructor . I was never afraid to ask her something and we often stayed back after the lesson to ask questions.

The thing is my new instructor knows my past, she met with the 3 of us in the lesson before we started and got a feel for us so to speak. This instructor also seems to be obsessed with flat work even though the 3 riders asked if we could do some jumping she completely refused and told us "we can't jump all the time" which is fair enough but we hadn't jumped in 3 weeks at this stage!

In another lesson I was on a horse that refused to move faster than trot but after some persistence I got him to canter, he bucked going around a corner and I was thrown against an iron girder in the arena. Luckily I wasn't hurt. The instructor told me to get up on another horse and have a jump but I told her I didn't feel well enough, I was a little bit dizzy so she berated me in front of the entire lesson. After the lesson I went out to the carpark and got sick.

It's not like I'm an incompetent rider that is doing EVERYTHING wrong, I've been around horses most of my life, done Pony Club, hunting, hacking, xc, showjumping, used to spend my weekends at the local school when I was a kid, mucking out, grooming, tacking up etc etc it's just my confidence that needs a bit of "nurturing" to get back to the way I used to be.

Also, in the year or so that I was back riding the cost of lessons went up three times, so yes it is dear and getting dearer. I'd rather not say where I ride in case anyone can identify the school but I live in Dublin 15 (the school is not located here) but I can drive pretty much anywhere. So if anyone knows of any GOOD instructors please let me know!!

Hobbidance

bnagrrl wrote: »

In another lesson I was on a horse that refused to move faster than trot but after some persistence I got him to canter, he bucked going around a corner and I was thrown against an iron girder in the arena. Luckily I wasn't hurt. The instructor told me to get up on another horse and have a jump but I told her I didn't feel well enough, I was a little bit dizzy so she berated me in front of the entire lesson. After the lesson I went out to the carpark and got sick.

That's ridiculous. There's nothing worse than misbehaving school horses.
Of course, I think there's nothing wrong with giving younger horses to those advanced riders who really want to learn more than just how to ride an already trained horse or how to 'improve' it. But horses like the one you mentioned shouldn't be given to riders like you.
No offense intended but I'm sure if I got on a horse that was going to throw me off after my accident I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to ride like I used to. I'm still not quite there yet and I doubt it will ever be the same where I feared no height of any fence or backing any horse but if I had another bad fall I think I would've stopped riding altogether and stuck to teaching only. There's nothing worse than that gnawing doubt in the back of your mind. Especially when you know your horse can feel everything and knows when something's wrong.
It's good to get back up after a tumble and maybe walk it off and have a trot or canter around the ring but nothing that you're not comfortable with and if you were feeling dizzy then she should've sat you down and gave you a drink or something to eat, just goes to show that she's not very considerate. You should really either talk to her or complain to the manager. Trust me, with the recession looming like this the manager wont want to lose customers and would rather replace a bad instructor than lose business. If there's enough complaints made then you'll either see a quick change in the instructors attitude or a change in staff.

AIMEE")

thats horrible to hear :eek:

you should try broadmeddows in ashbourne !
All the instructors are really nice and helpful.

bnagrrl

Hobbidance wrote: »

That's ridiculous. There's nothing worse than misbehaving school horses.
Of course, I think there's nothing wrong with giving younger horses to those advanced riders who really want to learn more than just how to ride an already trained horse or how to 'improve' it. But horses like the one you mentioned shouldn't be given to riders like you.
No offense intended but I'm sure if I got on a horse that was going to throw me off after my accident I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to ride like I used to. I'm still not quite there yet and I doubt it will ever be the same where I feared no height of any fence or backing any horse but if I had another bad fall I think I would've stopped riding altogether and stuck to teaching only. There's nothing worse than that gnawing doubt in the back of your mind. Especially when you know your horse can feel everything and knows when something's wrong.
It's good to get back up after a tumble and maybe walk it off and have a trot or canter around the ring but nothing that you're not comfortable with and if you were feeling dizzy then she should've sat you down and gave you a drink or something to eat, just goes to show that she's not very considerate. You should really either talk to her or complain to the manager. Trust me, with the recession looming like this the manager wont want to lose customers and would rather replace a bad instructor than lose business. If there's enough complaints made then you'll either see a quick change in the instructors attitude or a change in staff.

That particular horse is actually a livery and I feel like we are paying to school him for his owner! I don't expect to be on the "perfect" horse week after week and being on a tricky ride can help you become a more rounded rider but that horse just takes the biscuit! Others in the lesson refuse to ride him at all.
I've felt like having a word with the manager but don't know what it would achieve really as she seems to be the only instructor available to do adult evening lessons and I think some would rather have a bad lesson than no lesson at all.

Hobbidance

bnagrrl wrote: »

That particular horse is actually a livery and I feel like we are paying to school him for his owner! I don't expect to be on the "perfect" horse week after week and being on a tricky ride can help you become a more rounded rider but that horse just takes the biscuit! Others in the lesson refuse to ride him at all.
I've felt like having a word with the manager but don't know what it would achieve really as she seems to be the only instructor available to do adult evening lessons and I think some would rather have a bad lesson than no lesson at all.

It actually makes me restless to hear that believe it or not. I would kill for a better job right now, I've applied for one in Meath which is so far from home my mom doesn't want me to get it. This is the first time she's ever not wanted me to get a job I apply for lol. To hear that there's people like that who get paid for giving below-par lessons is really irritating. Almost makes me want to drive up there and give her a piece of my mind. :mad:

Yes riding tricky horses is always challenging and more enjoyable to some people but there's a difference between tricky and really badly behaved lol and from the sound of it I'd probably get stuck into that horse too given half an opportuninty. :P

bnagrrl

Thanks for all the replies, it's actually cheered me up a good bit to see your comments! I've gotten a few PMs about schools near me so going to check them out and see how I get on. I'm excited to think I could be back riding again soon! :D:D

bnagrrl

Hobbidance wrote: »

It actually makes me restless to hear that believe it or not. I would kill for a better job right now, I've applied for one in Meath which is so far from home my mom doesn't want me to get it. This is the first time she's ever not wanted me to get a job I apply for lol. To hear that there's people like that who get paid for giving below-par lessons is really irritating. Almost makes me want to drive up there and give her a piece of my mind. :mad:

Yes riding tricky horses is always challenging and more enjoyable to some people but there's a difference between tricky and really badly behaved lol and from the sound of it I'd probably get stuck into that horse too given half an opportuninty. :P

Yes given my lastest experience I would say there is definitely a market there for GOOD instructors!
Best of luck with the job application, if you get it PM me the address of the school LOL

Hobbidance

bnagrrl wrote: »

Yes given my lastest experience I would say there is definitely a market there for GOOD instructors!
Best of luck with the job application, if you get it PM me the address of the school LOL

I hope I will there's so much more stuff happening up around the dublin area it would be great to be that close to things. Will let you know