Friends?

RubyXI

Hey. Not sure if this is the right place for this.
Just wondering if anyone else out there has no friends. I don't.
(This isn't a poor me post. Im just having trouble finding the right words tonight!)
I'm 24 and i dont have any friends. Everyone else seems to so it seems like it would be impossible to make friends coz everyone already has them. So they wouldnt make new friends now. I mean they mite be acquaintaces or kinda friends but like not real good friends that you could talk to about stuff.
So ya, this post probly makes no sense at all. Sorry!

cute_cow

i know how exatly how you feel. I have one good friend here. I moved from home about 7 years ago and lost contact with all my friends over time.

Its tough at times, and sometimes I wish I could have more friends. I have tried the clubs and evening courses, but sadly this didn't work out. Its the small things like calling someone for a chat, having someone to go to the cinema or go for a few drinks with, or just having someone there if you need a cuddle if you're having a crappy day.

Even though the clubs or classes didn't work for me, perhaps you should give it a go? If you have an interest in sport, maybe join a football club or something like that. And they in turn would have social events to go to.

I know its tough, but hang in there, and don't forget about us boardsies, you can always chat to us

littlesurfer

i have friends in dublin but moved to another county this year and have found myself kinda lonely. I was in college so found that an easy way to meet people...i know its cliche but clubs really are the way to go...

...if you have an interest in arty things then thats an open door straight away...there are groups meeting every week for art classes, knitting, weaving, crafts,...music is the same...trad sessions in the city are an amazing way to meet people...pick an instrument and go get a few lessons.

I also joined a yoga class and met great people there....you really have to learn to put yourself out there. There are lots of people like you out there...and the chances are that if you approach someone in a setting like that theyre there for a similar reason!!!

Good luck
x

RubyXI

I have been thinking of joining something. I'm not sure what though. I'm into art and music. But not sport. I'm living in cork city and don't have a car so I'm not sure whats available near to where i live. I did a quick google and didn't come up with much really but i guess there must be something.

LegacyUser

i thought i was the only person in this position. thought i was doing the right thing by buying house, although it's out towards the country i now find myself very isolated.

I know its tough, but hang in there, and don't forget about us boardsies, you can always chat to us

as nice as this message is, and yes it's given me some kind of sense of friendship, it's not real for me as at the end of the day i'm still on my own, my only friend being a computer screen.

LegacyUser

I have more friends now than ever.

I am in my mid 30s and when I was 20, I'd say I had about 1 friend.

He's still my best mate. We hang around with a bunch of guys who I now feel I don't have anything in common with - other than having known them for years.

Get involved. Join a club. Get an opinion. Be open.

Meet people who you've something in common with and bond with them over that.

I joined a sports club - I have 20 new numbers in my phone. I have people to go away with at weekends and the more I do, the more people I meet.

I wouldn't say that these people are my best friends but I like meeting up with them and doing stuff with them.

Don't see every new friend as "my new best friend" but eventually you'll develop good relationships with them and then maybe you can talk to them about stuff.

If you are male, it can be hard to find guys who actually want to hear about stuff...

littlesurfer

this is probably going to sound harsh ...but if the computer screen is your only friend then you need to get up off your bum and do something about it. Its easy to get isolated but there are so many different avenues to go down to meet people.

What about volunteering.??..people volunteer their time all around the country and youre guaranteed to meet people. evening drop by your local commnity centre or sports club...theres people looking for squash and tennis partners, jogging and walking groups. I have a friend who was feeling isolated down in a new home in the countryside...she made loads of friends when she bought her puppy and joined a puppy training group.

LegacyUser

I am joining this club.
No friends. Nada, zero, zilch, niet.
Do I miss them? A ton.

IpreDictDeatH

Maybe the reason you have no friends is because you choose not to? And thats ok. When i was younger i had tons of mates but as i matured i found myself not being able to identify with the lifetsyles that my friends were living. I began to dislike alot of what they were up to so i choose not to be in their company.

The way i see it, id rather be alone and happy with my own company than feel like i have to be in the company of people i dont like or who i cant identify with. People who have loads of friends can sometimes be a bit shallow so count yourself lucky ( if its the case) that it takes a bit more for you to call someone your friend.

Best advice is to realise that its perfectly normal and ok to not have many or any friends. I read a book about solitude and you would be gobsmacked at the amount of good that can come from solitude. Most scientific discoveries and literary masterpieces were the work of people who had little or no friends. As the old saying goes, if you dont love yourself nobody else will.

sunnyside

phi3 wrote: »

I have been thinking of joining something. I'm not sure what though. I'm into art and music.

A choir maybe? The Cork forum has a very active social outings thread, check that out.

Unregistered wrote: »

i thought i was the only person in this position. thought i was doing the right thing by buying house, although it's out towards the country i now find myself very isolated.

.

Home ownership in suburbia has isolated me a bit too. A lot of so called friends were jealous when I got on the property ladder and contact has become less and less frequent.

I have 2 long time friends both of whom I would be lost without. They both live in different counties but I text and chat to them on the phone almost every day and it's those nightly calls and texts that stop me from being lonely.

IpreDictDeatH wrote: »

The way i see it, id rather be alone and happy with my own company than feel like i have to be in the company of people i dont like or who i cant identify with.

I read a book about solitude and you would be gobsmacked at the amount of good that can come from solitude. Most scientific discoveries and literary masterpieces were the work of people who had little or no friends. As the old saying goes, if you dont love yourself nobody else will.

Spending time with people you have no interest in is exhausting. I agree that it's good to be comfortable with your own company but it's not good to become too isolated. Boards and other internet sites are fantastic but limit the time you spend behind the computer screen. Meet a few people in person as well.

LD 50

Its not that hard once you start. Making one friend, leads to meeting their friends. And so on and so forth. Its like a get rich quick scheme.
A girlfriend I had, practically knew everyone in the city we were in. I often commented to her that she had too many friends. but by virtue of the fact that I knew her, and she knew practically everyone, eventually I began to know everyone.
But making those good friends takes time. And some fall to the wayside. You're still young enough to make those type of friends though. Try joining clubs and gyms. They're great places to meet people and make new friends. Social websites are good aswell. You really have to just get out there.

I agree with the previous two posters. I can go for days, sometimes weeks without contact with the outside world. And thats fine by me. Its perfectly OK to like time by youself. I prefer to do most things on my own. And its ok to want to see friends after a while. Each persons comfort zone for being on your own is different.

LD 50

Unregistered wrote: »

I am joining this club.
No friends. Nada, zero, zilch, niet.
Do I miss them? A ton.

Give them a call. Organise a night out or something.

LegacyUser

LD 50 wrote: »

Give them a call. Organise a night out or something.

I wish I could.

I moved to Ireland 9 years ago and have 'lost' all the friends I had before.

Kinda bad when im down and would like to talk with someone.