the whole rhianna chris brown thing

justsomebloke

ok given that this is probably the biggest profile case of spousal abuse that would have hit the youth Market I was just wondering what people's thought on the episode are and how it will effect young women in how they perceive spousal abuse especially as the media reports that she has taken him back.








note. I know that men also suffer from spousal abuse however seen as though celebrity gossip is more a female thing the effects of this case will probably be more seen in girls then boys

midlandsmissus

It was a bad day when she took him back, cause it is sending the msg to men and women that you can hit your girlfriend and she will take you back. How damaging is that?

As she is in the public eye, she should have thought about the message she is sending out to everyone.

jim o doom

midlandsmissus wrote: »

It was a bad day when she took him back, cause it is sending the msg to men and women that you can hit your girlfriend and she will take you back. How damaging is that?

As she is in the public eye, she should have thought about the message she is sending out to everyone.

yeah I agree that's defo a bad thing - but "being in the public eye" doesn't really affect peoples bad life decisions. And neither should it. "oh god what message could I be sending out" should actually be the thought "that scumbag actually hit me, that's it - im getting big mo after him."

big mo being an imaginary big revenge/minder type person.

midlandsmissus

jim o doom wrote: »

yeah I agree that's defo a bad thing - but "being in the public eye" doesn't really affect peoples bad life decisions. And neither should it. "oh god what message could I be sending out" should actually be the thought "that scumbag actually hit me, that's it - im getting big mo after him."

big mo being an imaginary big revenge/minder type person.

Yeah she should have thought that FIRST of all!

But I disagree, people in the public eye have a responsiliblity, she also should have thought, 'Wait I'm a big influence on millions of little girls, they are going to copy my behaviour'

Davei141

Let's face it if somebody stays in a abusive relationship there is a WHOLE lot of issues with that person as to why they wont leave be it insecurity, self esteem, kids, scared etc. Some stable girl isn't going to think "oh he gave me a belt but if rhianna can forgive chris i can forgive my guy too!" Its really not that simple.

midlandsmissus

Davei141 wrote: »

Let's face it if somebody stays in a abusive relationship there is a WHOLE lot of issues with that person as to why they wont leave be it insecurity, self esteem, kids, scared etc. Some stable girl isn't going to think "oh he gave me a belt but if rhianna can forgive chris i can forgive my guy too!" Its really not that simple.

Peers and Popular media is where most young people get their information/attitudes form

christy c

I'd say she took him back because of his record company, his sales had gone through the floor. She prob got money out of it

Davei141

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Peers and Popular media is where most young people get their information/attitudes form

I disagree about the popular media part. You need to give young people a bit more credit, they aren't as stupid as you would think. Chris brown was nominated the other night at the meteor awards and im telling you the boo's he got when his name was on the screen left nobody in doubt what young people thought of spousal abuse.

justsomebloke

christy c wrote: »

I'd say she took him back because of his record company, his sales had gone through the floor. She prob got money out of it

source? as far as I know although his sales have remained steady and have not sky rocketed. If anything her record company probably would of been suggesting to her to probably leave him and play the sympathy card to try and bolster her own sales.

I have to say for my own part that it was sad to see her go back to him due to the fact that she is probably more finacially secure then him and would of had plenty of support from people had she left and still went back to him a situation that a lot of other women in the same sort of relationship would love to have so they can escape but can't. That said if it happens again to her I'm not sure how much sympathy I will have for her

smileysurfer

Its definitely giving the wrong idea to young people being abused by partners!
At the beginning I thought the whole ordeal for Rihanna must have been traumatising, I was relieved when she got rid of him and thought that she was very strong, brave and sensible to do so! They she takes him back! And now theres reports of them being engaged, even married! What the hell!!!!! its only a matter of time before he does it again! If anyone read the account of what happened you can tell he was malicious in his attack! How would you trust anyone like that again?
Im not sure it will make people more accepting of violence! In fact I think / would hope people have more cop on!

Chris brown was nominated the other night at the meteor awards and im telling you the boo's he got when his name was on the screen left nobody in doubt what young people thought of spousal abuse.

Delighted to hear that! He doesnt deserve the nomination!!!

justsomebloke

Davei141 wrote: »

You need to give young people a bit more credit, they aren't as stupid as you would think.

apparently kids in Boston are (survey of 200 kids)

* 71% said arguing was a normal part of a relationship
* 44% said fighting was a normal part of a relationship
* 51% said Chris Brown was responsible for the incident
* 46% said Rihanna was responsible for the incident
* 52% said both individuals were to blame for the incident, despite knowing at the time that
Rihanna had been beaten badly enough to require hospital treatment
* 35% said the media were treating Rihanna unfairly
* 52% said the media were treating Chris Brown unfairly




source http://www.bphc.org/news/press_release_content.asp?id=473

jellie

Joe the Santa wrote: »

source? as far as I know although his sales have remained steady and have not sky rocketed. If anything her record company probably would of been suggesting to her to probably leave him and play the sympathy card to try and bolster her own sales.

I heard somewhere that rihannas sales had gone up while chris browns had pretty much dropped off completely.

while i definitely dont agree with what shes done, i think people forget shes just a normal girl. shes 21, hes probably the first guy shes ever loved & probably one of the small pieces of normality in her life. you see it in PI all the time, "i love him but he hit me" or "i love him but he cheated on me".

but yes she should take into account the fact that shes an influence on millions of young girls. by taking him back shes pretty much telling him & the world that what he did was ok.

Davei141

Joe the Santa wrote: »

apparently kids in Boston are (survey of 200 kids)

* 71% said arguing was a normal part of a relationship
* 44% said fighting was a normal part of a relationship
* 51% said Chris Brown was responsible for the incident
* 46% said Rihanna was responsible for the incident
* 52% said both individuals were to blame for the incident, despite knowing at the time that
Rihanna had been beaten badly enough to require hospital treatment
* 35% said the media were treating Rihanna unfairly
* 52% said the media were treating Chris Brown unfairly




source http://www.bphc.org/news/press_release_content.asp?id=473

Well if a few kid's in Boston say so... I would like to see the full question's asked too, wouldn't believe them survey's as far as i could throw them.

Davei141

sar84 wrote: »

but yes she should take into account the fact that shes an influence on millions of young girls. by taking him back shes pretty much telling him & the world that what he did was ok.

If you were famous and you had to deal with such a traumatic event in your life, would you care about your "influence"? Your first part i agree with the bit i quoted definitely not. Her decision was wrong but her celeb status should have no bearing at all on it.

Nevyn

Yes it's complicated, such situations usually are when a relationship turns toxic.
Yes she should not have hit him.
Yes he should not have hit her back.
Yes there is a difference between a slap or punch and beating someone.

Yes there has been added exposeure due to the 'celb' status and the frankly
appaling way that african american women are treated and protrayed in
rap and hip hop culture.

brianthebard

sar84 wrote: »

I heard somewhere that rihannas sales had gone up while chris browns had pretty much dropped off completely.

while i definitely dont agree with what shes done, i think people forget shes just a normal girl. shes 21, hes probably the first guy shes ever loved & probably one of the small pieces of normality in her life. you see it in PI all the time, "i love him but he hit me" or "i love him but he cheated on me".

but yes she should take into account the fact that shes an influence on millions of young girls. by taking him back shes pretty much telling him & the world that what he did was ok.

Agree that its a terrible thing to happen, but we know from survey after survey that most people who are hit by a partner go back repeatedly, whether they are a celebrity or not. If she made all her relationship decisions based on how people perceived her then she'd never be able to do anything!

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Personally, I just think it shows that Rihanna has problems if she wants to stay in that type of relationship

Stench Blossoms

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yes it's complicated, such situations usually are when a relationship turns toxic.
Yes she should not have hit him.
Yes he should not have hit her back.
Yes there is a difference between a slap or punch and beating someone.

Yes there has been added exposeure due to the 'celb' status and the frankly
appaling way that african american women are treated and protrayed in
rap and hip hop culture.

Agree 100%

I don't condone what he did but not a lot of people seem to realize that she hit him first. He shouldn't have hit her back but it shouldn't be one rule for person and another rule for someone else.

If i hit any of my friends, male or female i'd expect a slap back.

I think neither of them are good for each other and I'd say they'll break up permanently before the end of the year anyway.

Ginny

The New York Times had an interesting article this week about it
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/19/fashion/19brown.html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss

jim o doom

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Peers and Popular media is where most young people get their information/attitudes form

Yeah - but that doesn't give them any responsibility - real or imagined; the only responsibility they generally have is to make more money and act nicey nicey - becuase if they don't act how they are expected to they lose "fans + respect + money" - any mimicing actions fans may make are a tertiary or non existant concern..

Hell even as a youngster I never acted in a way anybody famous did - I think that just because someone is in the spotlight - the shouldn't make them a role model and it certainly doesn't make them a good person.

Should a childs role model not be their parent? I think it says a lot about society that we think celebraties should act responsibly as they are role models and ignore parenting - too many kids are brought up by the telly eh?

jellie

Davei141 wrote: »

If you were famous and you had to deal with such a traumatic event in your life, would you care about your "influence"? Your first part i agree with the bit i quoted definitely not. Her decision was wrong but her celeb status should have no bearing at all on it.

I disagree. While im sure itd be the last thing on her mind, and im sure it DIDNT influence her decision, I think any high profile celebrity SHOULD take into mind their audience. Im not saying I would care either, im just saying she SHOULD.

brianthebard wrote: »

Agree that its a terrible thing to happen, but we know from survey after survey that most people who are hit by a partner go back repeatedly, whether they are a celebrity or not. If she made all her relationship decisions based on how people perceived her then she'd never be able to do anything!

Thats true. & its not about peoples perception of her either..

I do feel sorry for her, and can partly understand her mindset. but ill have less sympathy if/when it happens again.

Nevyn

orla wrote: »

Agree 100%

I don't condone what he did but not a lot of people seem to realize that she hit him first. He shouldn't have hit her back but it shouldn't be one rule for person and another rule for someone else.

That doesn't make it right.
And there is a difference in size and strength as well.

orla wrote: »

If i hit any of my friends, male or female i'd expect a slap back.

If it was seriously in anger then I would not, I would expect them to walk
away and tbh shun me for my lack of control and respect for them.

The_Minister

Does anyone know if this was the first time?

JP Liz

He is an a$$hole and she is an idiot

Ginny

The_Minister wrote: »

Does anyone know if this was the first time?

Rumours are that its not, but they're rumours, I think the police are looking into why she was wearing an eye patch for a while last year.

Dub-girl88

http://www.heatworld.com/Article/9718/Rihanna-/The-9-0Clock-News-%e2%80%93-Fri-20-Mar

Take a read of this. If this is true maybe this is the reason she did get back together with him.

LightningBolt

Heat? Yeah they'll have insider knowledge:rolleyes:

She's an idiot for getting back with him. She's infinitely better off than the other thousands of women who are subject to domestic violence. She's not tied down by children even. Get out of that before something worse happens. I think he'll turn around to be a closet gay. Not that it has anything to do with it.

nomorebadtown

I'd hit that.

PK2008

If a man hits a woman once I'll feel sorry for her and outraged at him

If she gives him a second chance to hit her then I can only assume she doesnt mind- and if she doesnt then neither do I

I get the sneaky suspicion that she'll let it go on a bit longer bring out alot of mediocre "I am stronger because of my domestic abuse" music a la "I will suvive", then write a book about "her struggle agaisnt domestic abuse", become a spokeswoman for some womens abuse organisation, then bring out a film about how she survived the "hell of domestic abuse" and came out stronger and now she's a role model to women everywhere..... probably do Oprah then

Puke

Wibbs

nomorebadtown this isn't after hours. Plus making "jokes" about violence against women will not be tolerated around here. No more, thanks. Official warning

Fighting Irish

Bryn wrote: »

Personally, I just think it shows that Rihanna has problems if she wants to stay in that type of relationship

Or maybe the people who give a fook what other people do have problems, does anyone even know the facts of what happened?

ntlbell

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yes it's complicated, such situations usually are when a relationship turns toxic.
Yes she should not have hit him.
Yes he should not have hit her back.
Yes there is a difference between a slap or punch and beating someone.

Yes there has been added exposeure due to the 'celb' status and the frankly
appaling way that african american women are treated and protrayed in
rap and hip hop culture.

portrayed? are they not their being paid a hell of lot of money trying to get famous while they're being "treated" badly in hip hop culture?

It's like saying a woman in an abusive porn video is being treated badly.

PK2008

ntlbell wrote: »

portrayed? are they not their being paid a hell of lot of money trying to get famous while they're being "treated" badly in hip hop culture?

It's like saying a woman in an abusive porn video is being treated badly.

Hmmm....individually yes, they're adults and can decide whether they want be in the video's or not and Im sure they are finacially compensated

but

I think it defintely is disparaging to women as a group (in particular working class Afro American women), I mean it is literally objectification in its most blatent and mysogonistic form, its deliberatly designed to be so

(Im a bloke btw)

Snowie

Rianna hit him it shows that she's been violent with him, as music star's go they can be pretty demanding of every one around them and well I just wonder has she behevaed like that before maybe not to that extent but, its questionable...

As for what she's done It really does remind me of Tina Turner, she in a abusive marrage for a long time. No woman should go back to a man who does that to them thats just pure lowist of the low, persoanll experences with such storys in my famillys past my mums x huband. I think Dragan or whibbs spoke about it in PI's or maybe even in hear i cant remember, about how these men operate makeing there wife feel guilty for causeing such acts of violance, My mum has the same problem .. Maybe it has'nt been abusive before or maybe he has but Its a pretty bad thing for even the press to be publishing in away....
as moon baby said it shows men who hit there wives girlfriends that its ok...
eather way any act like that dissgust's me...

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Fighting Irish wrote: »

Or maybe the people who give a fook what other people do have problems, does anyone even know the facts of what happened?

If she had done something to warrant getting the living daylights kicked out of her, i'm sure it would have been made known to the public, so that Chris Brown's reputation may have been saved a bit

Nevyn

I don't care what she is suposed to have done there is no excuse for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f20Oz9Yr_So

Fighting Irish

Bryn wrote: »

If she had done something to warrant getting the living daylights kicked out of her, i'm sure it would have been made known to the public, so that Chris Brown's reputation may have been saved a bit

And fook up Rhiannas rep?

pikachucheeks

I'm sickened by the whole thing!

Chris Brown is only a teenager and he's beating up his girlfriend.
He must have a seriously messed up family life.

I think it's terribly sad that she took him back - Obviously, she must seriously depend on him. Or he bought her a really big diamond!

I think a lot of women will feel saddened that she took him back, despite the hideous abuse.
So much for 'Girl Power'.

Even if Chris went through months of therapy, what are the chances he'd really change?
The chances of him attacking her again are high - Once a Rihanna-beater, always a Rihanna-beater!

I have to admit I'm gobsmacked at the article quoting kids as saying she took him back because it was her fault in the first place and she must have been asking for it.
Gobsmacked.
:eek:

Fighting Irish

bluewolf wrote: »

I have to admit I'm gobsmacked at the article quoting kids as saying she took him back because it was her fault in the first place and she must have been asking for it.
Gobsmacked.
:eek:

I agree but nobody knows exactly what happened!

I'm not trying to defend CB i've never liked that guy :pac:

994

Joe the Santa wrote: »

apparently kids in Boston are (survey of 200 kids)

* 71% said arguing was a normal part of a relationship
* 44% said fighting was a normal part of a relationship
* 51% said Chris Brown was responsible for the incident
* 46% said Rihanna was responsible for the incident
* 52% said both individuals were to blame for the incident, despite knowing at the time that
Rihanna had been beaten badly enough to require hospital treatment
* 35% said the media were treating Rihanna unfairly
* 52% said the media were treating Chris Brown unfairly




source http://www.bphc.org/news/press_release_content.asp?id=473

I heard that she was insulting and slapping Chris Brown first, and he attacked in retaliation. If she had fought back in a similar manner in a fight initiated by him, she'd be hailed as a heroine.

Fighting Irish

Fighting Irish wrote: »

I agree but nobody knows exactly what happened!

I'm not trying to defend CB i've never liked that guy :pac:

Sure, we do know what happened.
She went to hospital as a result of injury, he didn't. Right?

Fighting Irish

bluewolf wrote: »

Sure, we do know what happened.
She went to hospital as a result of injury, he didn't. Right?

Yes but we don't know what she done

Fighting Irish

Fighting Irish wrote: »

Yes but we don't know what she done

What can she possibly have done to warrant that outcome?

brianthebard

bluewolf wrote: »

What can she possibly have done to warrant that outcome?

Come on now abuse works both ways, if she did hit him then she may have hit him before, maybe this time pushed him over the edge? again as pointed out several times we can't know, but let's not brush the guy as a mindless thug straight away. Nobody comes out of a relationship like the one in question in a good way.

brianthebard

brianthebard wrote: »

Come on now abuse works both ways, if she did hit him then she may have hit him before, maybe this time pushed him over the edge? again as pointed out several times we can't know, but let's not brush the guy as a mindless thug straight away. Nobody comes out of a relationship like the one in question in a good way.

I'm not painting him as a mindless thug I'm asking what could she have done that warrants her ending up in hospital and him not. I haven't defended either of them thus far.
Abuse works both ways but her level of physical strength is fractional, I would imagine, compared to his, and there are other ways of dealing with something preemptively if it was ongoing.

brianthebard

I don't think an inidividual's strength should be a qualifier in abuse cases at all, everyone is capable of damaging another, and guy's will often not defend themselves against a girl. Obviously this wasn't the case this time, but others?

Fighting Irish

bluewolf wrote: »

What can she possibly have done to warrant that outcome?

Thats the thing we don't know. I know for a fact i'd beat the fooking **** out of anyone if they did something to warrant it. If a 13 year old girl stabbed and killed a member of my family i wouldn't hold back cos shes a girl.
We don't know what happened!!!!

banshee_bones

I dont know what kind of image this is sending out by either of them tbh.

My 13 year old cousin is a huge Chris Brown fan, i imagine she probably likes Rhianna too? In her head (possibly or even younger kids than her) does this mean that violent / aggresive relationships must be ok if my "idols" are carrying on this way?

Surely they must be aware of what a young and impressionable fan base the pair of them hold? Surely Rhianna must have thought for a second how this may affect her image seen to be tolerating this kind of behaviour? And if she didnt think about it dont tell me she hasnt got a PR team advising her as to how this might be percieved?

As previously mentioned these relationships can get complicated and when they get toxic even more so but the bottom line was that he hit her and she took him back. To me that says shes leaving herself wide open to Round 2.

My 2c....

MJOR

I think it's terrible the whole situation is very messy.

Davei141

banshee_bones wrote: »

I dont know what kind of image this is sending out by either of them tbh.

My 13 year old cousin is a huge Chris Brown fan, i imagine she probably likes Rhianna too? In her head (possibly or even younger kids than her) does this mean that violent / aggresive relationships must be ok if my "idols" are carrying on this way?

Surely they must be aware of what a young and impressionable fan base the pair of them hold? Surely Rhianna must have thought for a second how this may affect her image seen to be tolerating this kind of behaviour? And if she didnt think about it dont tell me she hasnt got a PR team advising her as to how this might be percieved?

As previously mentioned these relationships can get complicated and when they get toxic even more so but the bottom line was that he hit her and she took him back. To me that says shes leaving herself wide open to Round 2.

My 2c....

Does your 13 year old cousin have parents? If your 13 year old cousin thinks that's ok its time for them to do their job. Rhianna and Chris Brown don't bring up the children.