Parents cold

Affable

I have so-called reasonable parents, they never hit me or pressurised me.
But then they say indifference is the killer. And that's what I get.
I'm actually seethig this evening after years of this building up inside me.
Any problem I bring to them is met with calm insouciance, a 'gloss over it' mentality from my mother, a silly affected ignorance where she pretends not to get it or that nothing's wrong. My Dad likes to prove how icy and dignified and strong he is, which he is well conscious of, which has gotten him places in his career and scares people. But he has taken it to ridiculous, subhuman and creepy levels, to the point where any problem is met with the same inscrutable, so called 'dignified' silence, just no emotion. It's just a vain power game for him, it all is. Someone that silent cannot have any humanity in them. I've got all this anger as a consequence with no outlet, it's gone inward.

I told them of my problem in yesterdays thread. I'm tired of seeing his little caluclating, self-serving, morally superior, mean, cold face, . He shows more affection for those work colleagues than he does me. Just nothing, ever. Some parents hit their kids but love them too, I just get nothing.

nyarlothothep

hey dude, I think you're going through a rough patch right now. Returning to your hometown must feel like going back to zero on the checkerboard again. I think you should move out if possible, or lay the foundations to get out eventually. Living in that situation is stifling. Also you should probably heed the advice of others in going to see a professional.

Affable

nyarlothothep wrote: »

hey dude, I think you're going through a rough patch right now. Returning to your hometown must feel like going back to zero on the checkerboard again. I think you should move out if possible, or lay the foundations to get out eventually. Living in that situation is stifling. Also you should probably heed the advice of others in going to see a professional.

That's so true. It sucks being back here, there's nothing for me here.

The worse my mood gets the more I can't escape. It is stifling, but I've no clue how to relocate, don't think the folks believe I can bu tI'd better soon.

I'm so unproductive anyway, I can't get **** done.

dudara

Are you a teenager, because this sounds like a very typical teenager thing to me.

You are probably going through all the emotions we discover in our teens, early-twenties. It's easy to deflect all this onto our parents as they are the people we can "blame" for who we are. It's a very self-indulgent thing to do. It's much harder to grow up and stop blaming your parents.

I think though that you should accept who you are, and who your parents are. Don't blame them for anything and concentrate on making your own life. If you spend ages blaming your parents then you will be wasting your own life.

Do something positive for yourself.

Affable

dudara wrote: »

Are you a teenager, because this sounds like a very typical teenager thing to me.

You are probably going through all the emotions we discover in our teens, early-twenties. It's easy to deflect all this onto our parents as they are the people we can "blame" for who we are. It's a very self-indulgent thing to do. It's much harder to grow up and stop blaming your parents.

I think though that you should accept who you are, and who your parents are. Don't blame them for anything and concentrate on making your own life. If you spend ages blaming your parents then you will be wasting your own life.

Do something positive for yourself.

No, but I'm going back to that time, as the culmination of it all.

nyarlothothep

well its not impossible to get out. What do you enjoy doing? I recall you saying you studied maths. That is a good skill to have and IME not many people are good enough at it to study it at third level. You could utilize it either through further academic study or through work or both.

Affable

nyarlothothep wrote: »

well its not impossible to get out. What do you enjoy doing? I recall you saying you studied maths. That is a good skill to have and IME not many people are good enough at it to study it at third level. You could utilize it either through further academic study or through work or both.

Thnaks but have no degree. And no work right now. I've never really lived or enjoyed uni either. I need a new life for once some pleasure. It's already too late for me in the sense I've missed a lot and have loads i want to get done, ie creatively, travel and all that so there's no way of fitting in fatherhood. I don't want to do further study, can't afford it and it takes too long.

ellie1

I think you are caught up in a world of misery maybe started by your return to your home town. Your anger and blame shifts from your peers to your parents.
Someday you have to stand up and take responsibility for your own happiness. Do you really want to look back and say I moaned , bitched and whined and never did anything about it?
Its okay to hurt and to be in pain. Its okay to be angry and upset that things didnt go the way you wanted.
People live through horrific ordeals and struggles and come through and survive.
You need to stop blaming other people. Yes, they may have wronged you and hurt you but blame and hatred towards others will not help you.
Take a positive step and get professional help. You need it.

Affable

My parents are resentful that I still have choice and am care free.
My sis has a kid, is stressed, they are bloody miserable too.

I still have options to be happy. They resent that.

Basically it's reached saturation point. We are extremely ****ed off with each other and it has to stop, so I'd better move out.

Is that over-cynical or possible in your views?

Beruthiel

Tell me Affable, who is paying for your college education right now?

Affable

Beruthiel wrote: »

Tell me Affable, who is paying for your college education right now?

I quit college

Beruthiel

In the space of a couple of weeks you have started four threads in this forum.
You would appear to not be interested in helping yourself, therefore there is no point in the rest of us trying to help you.

If you have no intention of seeing a professional for your problems, I suggest you start a blog.

Please do not start anymore threads in this forum.