Not enough time..

LegacyUser

Don't know where this is going to go as I'm just going to type what comes into my head.

Basically at the moment my life just seems so strained. It feels like there isn't enough time in the day to do everything I need to do and see everyone i need to see. I'm in my first year of college and also have a part time job. My job takes up so much of my time. I work both days every weekend and 2 or 3 nights during the week. Often averaging 25-30 hours per week. On top of this I have 17 hours of college, doesn't sound like loads but doesn't take into account any of the reading, assignments or studying I should do for it too. I live at home which is about an hour away from college and because my job is near college I don't go home afterwards, often meaning i leave my house at 7.30 in the morning and don't get home until at least after 11 (sometimes 12) at night..

Around all of this I'm trying to fit in spending time with my family, friends and boyfriend. Because I work long days both saturday and sunday I usually spend one weekday evening with my bf, which I don't think is excessive at all. Yet my dad keeps using it against me saying I only ever have time for my boyfriend?! Seeing him is the only thing that keeps me going at the moment, I do love my family but we have always argued quite alot so sometimes being at home isn't really enjoyable.

My mum has said to me that I never seem to be at home anymore. I leave early and usually go straight to bed when I go home because I'm just so tired. When I am at home for a free night I try to spend time with them but they've always got their own things going on and I usually end up in my room the whole night catching up on college work. My parents go mad at me that I don't do anything around the house at weekends but I often work between 8 and 9 1/2 hour shifts both days. I also have to travel into work so that adds on another 45 mins each way. If I'm not working til the afternoon I'll often have a rare lie in and then I get given out to for doing this (my parents are very much get up early and make the most of the day types)

I just feel so tired all of the time. I can't cut my hours at work or give up my job because I have alot of financial things to pay too but I always feel like I'm running around to different things never having a chance to enjoy anything. If I do decide to go on a night out I always have to work the next day and it's on my mind the whole time.

I get so upset that my parents don't understand where I'm coming from with this. They also put huge pressure on me to be in the top 10 in my class in college and sometimes I just feel like I can't take all this! When I tried to explain to my mum how i was feeling she just said "well it has to be done.."

I'm not really sure what I want to get out of writing this but I needed to get it down..
Sorry for such a long post, it just kept coming when I started writing!

Overheal

Could you start scheduling your time over a longer period? Instead of trying to cram quality time with everyone every week, you could start by planning yourself around a two week period, or a three week period. So for instance you might not sit down with your family every weekend but at least a couple times a month you would spend an evening with them.

On a side note it sounds kinda selfish of the parents to place financial, academic AND quality time pressure on you. I mean my parents want me to succeed too but theyre also understanding if I have to work a late shift or work on a project and rarely get to see them. "It all has to be done" yes, so they can't meet you halfway? You'll still be their daughter when the college year is finished! Most students (im sure you cant financially?) live away from home, usually, for that very reason. Either way you need to earn a bit of space off them. Even if it means a token amount of rent.

John Mason

i fel your pain OP

I have a full time job and a part-time job and i am in college 12 hours a week, and i have a ramshakle house.

the only thing that is keeping me going is the thought that there is only 2 month of college left which is also putting pressure on me to find sometime to study. i have taken a weeks holiday to study but i am not getting near as much done as i need. food shopping, ironing, cooking cleaning the toilet all still have to be done.

some of friends dont understand that i cant go out, i cant have a hangover at the weekend

i havent seen my family since january and wont be seeing them until june at this rate

the only advice i can give you, is just keeping going only two months left and then a 3 month break before it all starts again.

you can also get yourself some herbal remedies to cope with the stress and pressure. i know i am having problems sleeping, just keep having stress dreams about what i havent done.

i cant wait until may and i can get back to the gym for a while and catch up on some sleep.

i need to go now and do somemore studying


good luck

thebaldsoprano

I feel your pain as well OP, I'm pretty much in the same boat - full time job, part time degree. One thing I found to help massively with the tiredness is eat as much good stuff as possible - fish, fresh veggies and the like, this worked wonders within a couple of days after months of eating crap. With family and friends all you can really do is let them know what's going on and how busy you are and if they still give you any grief tell 'em to cop on. Anyway, there's only a couple of months left and then chill out time, ohhh yeeah!

LegacyUser

Why do you need to work so much while living with your parents? Personally, I'd have to move out under such conditions, but another option might be to spend less time working. Everyone needs money, but everyone also needs free time.

Apart from that, I'm surprised at your parents' attitude. They should be more supportive at a time when you're trying to start your own life. Also, I don't think it's really any of their business whether you're in the top 10 of your class. Even if they're paying for the course, all that should matter is that you pass.

Stheno

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

you can also get yourself some herbal remedies to cope with the stress and pressure. i know i am having problems sleeping, just keep having stress dreams about what i havent done.

good luck

I'd be the same, have had a few personal issues to deal with the past few months, I work full time (min. 50 hours per week), am hoping to start a degree part time soon, seems like the days just aren't long enough.

I am like PFB I destress through dreams, recently I told the OH (apparently) to bugger off in my sleep as I was too busy fixing pc's (not even my job )

thebaldsoprano wrote: »

I feel your pain as well OP, I'm pretty much in the same boat - full time job, part time degree. One thing I found to help massively with the tiredness is eat as much good stuff as possible - fish, fresh veggies and the like, this worked wonders within a couple of days after months of eating crap. With family and friends all you can really do is let them know what's going on and how busy you are and if they still give you any grief tell 'em to cop on. Anyway, there's only a couple of months left and then chill out time, ohhh yeeah!

Diet is vital for me, making the effort to eat can be a pain, but the benefits of decent meals when you are in a situation like this cannot be underestimated, same for exercise

Try and make sure you eat well, and get some exercise that should help

Apart from that, the very very best of luck to you

Cianos

Yeah, why do you have to work so much? If you are living at home, and are not going out much, what else do you have to spend money on? If it's commuting, college fees and basic living expenses, maybe you'd be better off getting a student loan? If you have a thing against owing money, just look at it as a way of leading a better life now when you need the money, and will allow you to have a clearer head and do better in college under less stressful situations.

Besides, when you are out of college and working, that same amount of money will only be a small fraction of your wages. Loans can be great value when you take everything in to consideration.

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, OP here.

Overheal wrote: »

Could you start scheduling your time over a longer period? Instead of trying to cram quality time with everyone every week, you could start by planning yourself around a two week period, or a three week period. So for instance you might not sit down with your family every weekend but at least a couple times a month you would spend an evening with them.

The problem is my hours in work are very irregular. They change every week so I can never promise anyone anything. I could be finished at 4 in the day or I mightn't be finished til 11 at night.. You can request days off at 3 weeks notice, but I'm currently on my trial period so I don't want to do that unless there's a genuine reason for the request because of the way jobs are at the moment. I wish i could change my hours, but it's a big company and they aren't very compassionate or understanding, they just need people to do the work..

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

i fel your pain OP

I have a full time job and a part-time job and i am in college 12 hours a week, and i have a ramshakle house.

the only thing that is keeping me going is the thought that there is only 2 month of college left which is also putting pressure on me to find sometime to study. i have taken a weeks holiday to study but i am not getting near as much done as i need. food shopping, ironing, cooking cleaning the toilet all still have to be done.

some of friends dont understand that i cant go out, i cant have a hangover at the weekend

i havent seen my family since january and wont be seeing them until june at this rate

the only advice i can give you, is just keeping going only two months left and then a 3 month break before it all starts again.

you can also get yourself some herbal remedies to cope with the stress and pressure. i know i am having problems sleeping, just keep having stress dreams about what i havent done.

i cant wait until may and i can get back to the gym for a while and catch up on some sleep.

i need to go now and do somemore studying


good luck

Wow I don't know how you manage all that.. you're right though about it only being a few more months to get through. i suppose I'm really feeling the stress at the moment because of assignments being due and exams on the horizon!
I'll definitely look into the herbal remedies and try improve my diet as another poster said.. think it would definitely help with the drained feeling I have at the moment!

Unregistered wrote: »

Why do you need to work so much while living with your parents? Personally, I'd have to move out under such conditions, but another option might be to spend less time working. Everyone needs money, but everyone also needs free time.

Apart from that, I'm surprised at your parents' attitude. They should be more supportive at a time when you're trying to start your own life. Also, I don't think it's really any of their business whether you're in the top 10 of your class. Even if they're paying for the course, all that should matter is that you pass.

I'm living with them but still need the money. I give them money every week and because I live in the countryside it's essential that I learn to drive so I have to contribute money to car insurance too. Have to pay my college registration fees next year too. I'd love to spend less time working but unfortunately there's no way I can cut my hours. I am contemplating keeping it up for the summer then (hopefully) finding another job because my grades next year will all count towards my degree and I can't afford to have them drop.

I really don't want to paint my parents in a completely bad light. They are quite supportive, they just put alot of pressure on me too. For example when I come home late after work my mum will always have kept some dinner for me and even heats it up for me when I get home. They do do little things for me which i really appreciate but i just find they don't understand sometimes. When I have tried to explain to them their only response is that I should cut out seeing my friends or boyfriend "so much" (as i've already said I see them once a week if I'm lucky!) but they don't see that's the only thing that keeps me going!

They have always been very education focused, and it's thanks to them i suppose that I''m in the course I'm in now, but they are having a hard time letting go and letting me do things myself. My dad told me at the start of the year that he wanted to see all my exam results when I get them.. it gets to me that they don't really trust me enough to do things by myself as I have never ever given them any reason to doubt me, I always do my best for them!

I havn't looked into the student loan.. I suppose it could be an option, but I would be a bit wary of owing the money I suppose. It could be an option though if this keeps up. I'll just have to see what the situation is like next year.

Anyway guys thank a million for the replies, helped me see I'm not alone! x

Overheal

Well in one sense you're right and one sense she may be right about the boyfriend. She's coming from the impartial angle that dating and relationships are a big distraction to studying or resting (especially when it becomes a drama, then a personal issue). But you're coming from the idea that your boyfriend does a lot to support you and lift your spirits.

It's a tough one, and its exactly why I rarely date.