I need advice - REALLY confusing!

LegacyUser

I'm 16, my boyfriend (lets say Tom) is 17. We have been together for 8 months and were best friends for about 6 months before that, but we are much more mature than many couples of our age. I have spent every weekend at his house for about the last year. I am very close to his mother (lets say Mary) and brother who is 14 (lets say Bob). The problem is his father (lets say John)...
I have heard stories of John hitting Mary and pushing her through walls and things that happened even before Tom was born. But about 10 months ago John attacked Tom because he "wasn't talking properly". The police were called and all he got was a warning,Tom now has a protection order. Tom tried to say he didn't care and not tell me everything but Bob told me the whole story, John plainly tried to kill Tom by choking him and hitting him with a window blind, hit Mary for trying to stop him.
Thibgs calmed down for a while after this...but things are getting bad again, I hate seeing Tom stop when he hears shouting and go to stand between John and Mary jus in case he trys to hit her, worse is...I saw him take out a metal thing and leave it near him, when I asked why all he said was "If he starts to hurt anyone I'll beat him to death!" I'm so so worried, I don't know what to do! And I can see the effect all this has on Bob too, he's not so vocal but he just sits there starring at the ground whispering things like "Just die...just die..." about John.

I'm scared...I'm only realising now how bad it's actually getting...please help...I didn't even realise how much of an effect it had on me til I saw how writing this is making me feel, I have noone to talk to about it cause if I talk to Tom it'll just get him angrier at John


Sorry this went on for so long, got carried away...changed names just in case...

Whynotme

You need to talk to a responsible adult about this. Have you spoken to your own parents? Any relatives of his you could go to? Has 'Tom' spoken to anyone? Maybe suggest he goes to school/college counsellor. Don't wait until its too late and he has reacted to a situation and destroys his life. I truly believe many of the domestic incidents where a parent is injured by their child stems from the scenario you have laid out. Get some serious advice now.

LegacyUser

It's a very serious situation that needs professional and careful handling. This has obviously been going on for years, so "Mary" has been living in this situation a long time and has never had the courage to get out.

If this is handled incorrectly it could make "John" worse, and leave them exposed to very serious situation.

Personally, there is nothing you can do to stop the situation, that is down to "Mary" and her children to remove themselves from it. And if they are not willing or too afraid to do it, then there's not a lot you can do.

Ring Women's Aid 1800 341 900 and ask them for advice on what you can/should/shouldn't do.

You're a good person for wanting to help, just be very careful and be aware of what your limitations are.

Aoifey!

This seems like a big problem, you should probably talk to someone who could help. You should also speak to "Tom" and "Bob" make sure he's okay, things like this can effect people very badly. Good luck with this, I hope eveything is okay...