Is this weird?

LegacyUser

Im 20, never had a girlfriend never had sex and I'm not that bothered about it while all my friends in similar circumstances seem pretty pissed off about it?
And its not like I have been trying to get a girlfriend either and been failing I just havent been arsed.
I just think lifes complicated enough and I have enough to occupy me that I see no reason to get all dressed up on a saturday night when I could stay at home and fix the car or play music and get up early the next morning and get even more stuff done rather than being hungover and all that goes with it(cringeworthy memories etc)

I do think that i maybe missed out alot on the girls side of things in secondary school, I was incredibly shy, very un-athletic, un-popular and a trouble maker so I never done any "back o' the bike shed" stuff and even this doesnt seem to bother me.
I left school early too so I never had to go to a debs are any of that stuff.

I don't know what I'm looking for by writting this

I like being on my own, not all the time, but I like my independance from having to keep contact with people etc.
I have one close friend but I cannot really communicate with people my own age apart from him.

And I still dont know why Im writting this.

Kevster

Look up Asperger's Syndrome... ...

Anyway, never - ever - try to base yourself on what the general population are doing. You don't want to be a sheep, right? Be happy in your differences.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Kevster wrote: »

Look up Asperger's Syndrome... ...

Seldom a good idea to get into self-diagnosis. The mind is both powerful and extremely suggestible.

Slutmonkey57b

And Asperger's Syndrome is the self-diagnosis of choice for practically all self-involved friendless people modern society breeds.

There's nothing inherently broken about being a different type of personality. I know people that are socially very successful but couldn't hold an adult conversation for very long. Do you find it easier to get on socially with older people?

LegacyUser

Yes I do find it a bit easier to talk to people who are older than me people whoa re about 25 for some reason?
I would be wary of diagnosing myself with something but its still makes for an interesting comparison.

Kevster

Firstly, I never once suggested self-diagnosing. Secondly, what you have said (Slutmonkey57b) is a generalisation that is probably false.

Kevin

mumhaabu

OP, you sound like you are rather unmotivated and you need to find a woman (or type) of women you are attracted to and start trying to achieve goals. Perhaps you need to change your look, hairstyle, wardrobe etc.

I lost my virginity at 20 and tbh your friends should not be worked up as you say. Going out on Saturday nights is not the end all and be all of getting a date, my first time happened in an office with a girl who I was used to having around yet like yourself wasn't half arsed. When that happened it ignited my fires and I had a real drive (unhealthy now that i look back) and over a year took 10 women to bed and infrequently dated them, this was just adding notches to my bed post yet I had no real love.

My first real GF was nice and it was so much more than sex, (passion entered my vocab) and so did tender love, sadly we parted eventually.

I can sort of draw from your experience but you need to respect yourself and love yourself first, then with confidence you can approach women and learn to communicate effectively. You need to come across as confident in yourself and I would not worry too much, over analysing these situations is terrible and you need to go with the flow and hopefully the old testosterone and urge to reproduce will help the situation. Tonnes of Alcohol and 120dB of DJ Tiesto will only add to the misery, Nightclubs and bars are really a total waste of time if you want to meet someone special, if you want to crank up one night stands by all means sample the honey pot on offer.

Believe me all good things come to those who wait, I was on the internet looking at stuff I shouldn't when sex and relationships crash-landed upon me and the office desk:rolleyes:.

seanybiker

Kevster wrote: »

Look up Asperger's Syndrome... ...

ha ha ha most pointless comment ever.
op is just shy. Your only 20 theres loads of time to get yourself a lack.

Wibbs

OK folks lets ease up and no more online diagnosis please.

estar

aspergers - please dis-regard that post op. pointless comments.


no you are not weird. we dont come out of a box all the same. enjoy the freedom of maturing at your own pace, and dont let others dictate when this should happen.

lots of people dont get intimate with others until they feel ready. be quietly confident in your own choices. you seem to know whats best for you. lots of people dont make decisions based on waht they think is normal and regret it.

as for the girls in secondary school, and missing out. you and half the irish population due to the segregatory system we have here. relax, enjoy being yourself and let your life unfold.

estar

Kevster wrote: »

Firstly, I never once suggested self-diagnosing. Secondly, what you have said (Slutmonkey57b) is a generalisation that is probably false.

Kevin

em. you kinda did really. you suggested the op look up aspergers and compare himself to what was written. thats kinda self diagnosis.

and all shy quiet people have aspergers. i could swear thats a generalisation.

i guess its probably false then, right?

Zaph

If you guys want to continue your discussion please take it to PM so that we can get back on topic here.

Thanks

Slutmonkey57b

Unregistered wrote: »

Yes I do find it a bit easier to talk to people who are older than me people whoa re about 25 for some reason?
I would be wary of diagnosing myself with something but its still makes for an interesting comparison.

Then that's something you can work with, and it's proof you're not fundamentally broken. There will be people at your age with similar personalities and interests. Trying to force yourself into a group you have little in common with just because they're your peers isn't going to benefit your social development necessarily. You don't need to cut them out of your life, but there's no reason you can't expand your circle of friends to an older crowd.

The Black Oil

Is what's going on in your life at the moment having a negative impact on your quality of life and friendships? There's a good few threads that touch upon some of the stuff you've talked about...many will say you're only a spring chicken and if you don't want to be with someone that's fair enough. However, it's no harm to put yourself out there at times, not necessarily going after girls, but something social that you wouldn't ordinarily go for or a hobby that wouldn't be top of your list to try. Maybe something involving a slightly older age group might come in here?

Xhristy

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