Cost of dinner parties

Macha

Inspired by the €1.50 per serving thread, I was wondering how you all manage the cost of dinner parties that you have?

All the guests I know feel guilty not bringing anything and most end up bringing the same things, ie bottle red/white or chips and dips. I'm having a dinner party this Friday for 10 people and was considering asking them all to bring 1 ingredient, like a jar of pesto or a pack of 6 eggs (or bottle of wine if they want..). That way, they're still probably spending about the same amount of money or even less and they can feel they've brought something and what they're bringing will be useful and not duplicated.

Anyone else do this or something similar?

arse..biscuits

Have someone bring dessert?
Make a salsa and have someone bring chips.
Ask everyone for a whipround towards the mortgage

nervous_twitch

I like having people bring wine; you can never have too much, and I think its more about the gesture than the actual contribution. I mean, I can understand asking someone to bring a salad or dessert etc, but if someone wanted me to bring a box of eggs or a jar of pesto I'd be wondering why they offered to cook for me in the first place.

The Hill Billy

Asking your guests to buy an ingredient each sounds fairly stingy to me. If I received such an invite I'd have made my excuses & stayed at home. They are your guests - you should be at least providing the main course out of your own pocket. Suggest that maybe they bring some chips & dips, a dessert or a bottle of something if they feel like making a contribution to the evening.

Anyway, when were you planning on doing the cooking? Waiting for all 10 guests to arrive with the individual ingredients before you even started preparing & cooking the meal?

olaola

We're doing a thing between a couple of friends - 'Friday Frugal Feasts', the aim is to do a dinner for 4-6 for under a tenner. Similar to the other thread really. Guests bring wine.
I'd say trying to make sure that the 10 separate guests bring what you want might end up costing more than you thought - you'll probably have to nip down to the local Spar and pay over the odds for what you really wanted!

Macha

nervous_twitch wrote: »

I like having people bring wine; you can never have too much, and I think its more about the gesture than the actual contribution. I mean, I can understand asking someone to bring a salad or dessert etc, but if someone wanted me to bring a box of eggs or a jar of pesto I'd be wondering why they offered to cook for me in the first place.

What's the difference between bringing a dessert and a jar of pesto? It's actually cheaper for the person coming to bring the pesto and easier as well.

I would ask them to bring wine but I have loads of cheap wine from Spain and don't actually need any more.

Hill Billy wrote: »

Asking your guests to buy an ingredient each sounds fairly stingy to me. If I received such an invite I'd have made my excuses & stayed at home. They are your guests - you should be at least providing the main course out of your own pocket. Suggest that maybe they bring some chips & dips, a dessert or a bottle of something if they feel like making a contribution to the evening.

Well if I were rolling in it, I probably wouldn't ask but the fact is I'm not rolling in it. I'm working on an internship that is paid less than minimum wage and less than the dole. If people get offended by me being practical about it, I find that silly. I don't want them to bring a whole dessert - I just want them to bring the ice cream on the side instead of a bottle of wine that no one is going to drink because I already have 15 bottles! What's the point in asking them to bring something that isn't needed and them getting offended if I ask them to bring something that is actually cheaper?

It's actually for my birthday and I've specifically asked them not to buy me presents. This isn't about stinginess or greed, it's about being practical.

Hill Billy wrote: »

Anyway, when were you planning on doing the cooking? Waiting for all 10 guests to arrive with the individual ingredients before you even started preparing & cooking the meal?

They are all ingredients for the salad or the last part of the main course so things like a tub of vanilla ice cream. It only takes 20 minutes in the oven and they'll all be sitting around chatting. It won't be a problem.

Xiney

In terms of etiquette, I think asking people to bring an ingredient is tacky.

In fact, expecting your guests to bring anything is tacky. Unless they ask and you offer a suggestion, it should be entirely up to them what they bring, if anything.


Pot lucks are different, but that's a whole dish.


Part of being a host is taking care of your guests. If you can't afford to do so, don't send out the invites. (Instead ask them over for dvd night and pop some popcorn and make some nachos, much cheaper)

Macha

This is the thing: they all want to bring something but so far all of asked "will I bring some chips?". What's the point in us all sitting around with 10 bags of Doritos?

It's not an order and I haven't said it to anyone who hasn't already offered to bring something.

Anyway, thanks for the replies - I might have to reconsider!

nervous_twitch

taconnol wrote: »

What's the difference between bringing a dessert and a jar of pesto? It's actually cheaper for the person coming to bring the pesto and easier as well.

I would ask them to bring wine but I have loads of cheap wine from Spain and don't actually need any more.

as Xiney pointed out, I think its an etiquette thing; it sounds inappropriate to me. I know making a potato salad or whatever takes more time, money etc, but I would actually prefer that than being asked to turn up with a bag of flour. Ideally, though, I would rather offer than be asked for it.

It depends on your friends too. Maybe they'll see a fun sort of quirkiness to it all.

But if you already have excesses of wine, and people are bringing chips/dips, I don't really see how catering for a few people should break the bank balance. I mean, a dinner party involves cooking dinner, perhaps you should have considered that

Macha

nervous_twitch wrote: »

as Xiney pointed out, I think its an etiquette thing; it sounds inappropriate to me. I know making a potato salad or whatever takes more time, money etc, but I would actually prefer that than being asked to turn up with a bag of flour. Ideally, though, I would rather offer than be asked for it.

I agree, I haven't asked anyone who hasn't already offered to bring something. I haven't asked them to bring a bag of flour - you're kinda stretching things there.

nervous_twitch wrote: »

It depends on your friends too. Maybe they'll see a fun sort of quirkiness to it all.

True, they all seem fine with it so far. In fairness, I wouldn't do this with people I don't know that well but they're all friends from school and I've known them all for 17 years.

nervous_twitch wrote: »

But if you already have excesses of wine, and people are bringing chips/dips, I don't really see how catering for a few people should break the bank balance. I mean, a dinner party involves cooking dinner, perhaps you should have considered that

TBH, it isn't really about the money. I can afford to cook for them all. It's really the practicalities of it. I get why it seems weird, hence me starting the thread, but I think etiquette sometimes stands in the way of good sense.

Har har, yes they're all still getting a 3-course meal with wine so yes, I am cooking dinner. :pac:

The Hill Billy

taconnol wrote: »

It's actually for my birthday

Happy birthday!

Macha

Hill Billy wrote: »

Happy birthday!

thanks.

MJOR

I'd feel a bit weird personally asking people to bring something specific... many is the time though I've had to ring someone and ask them to pick up a lemon or carton of cream or whatever on their way over:D

I suppose the cost of dinner parties depends on what you're cooking really and who you're having to come... Most of them will drink at least a bottle anyway so at least you'll have some leftover to enjoy at a later date:P