Going to gay bar for first time/meeting gay people

LegacyUser

OK, so I'm new to this... how do you do it properly??
Seeing as I'm new to it, advice is appreciated!

What's the etiquette to do it right.. all advice is appreciated!

L1011

I thought I replied to this last night, boards must have eaten it...

Anyway - theres no real 'ettiquete'. Lots of people I know were fairly scared the first time they went in to a gay bar; but realistically - its just a bar. That happens to be full of gay people. If you're going in as one its not going to be in any way bad.

Meeting people in bars is a bit dodgy anywhere, under any circumstances. But its the same as if it was a straight bar - you just get talking. If you just want to meet people socially (meeting people in bars is far more weighted towards sexually) you could try one of the general gay chat forums like queerid.com or gaire.com.

smileykey

I was put off the whole gay scene after my first time out on it. I think I spent my first year in gay bars drunk in order to handle it. It is, as the previous poster said, just like any other bar. I think where I went wrong was to put too much expectations into it. After years of thinking "I'll feel like I fit in more once I find other gays" I had put the gay scene on a pedestal which it should never be on. So first thing I'll say is don't do that. You'll make friends in time there, despite what people say, but it may not be instantly, just like any bar. Just try to be you and relax. There's lots of different people on the scene and you'll find where you belong eventually, or whether you belong there at all. I now love the scene and feel so much more comfortable there than in straight bars, oh how the tables have turned.

Good luck! And have fun

LegacyUser

It's the etiquette of getting a date and chatting up men that I'm not used to

LookingFor

Walk into bar
Order drink
Pay, smile, say thank you
Sit down, relax, enjoy drink

If you're going on your own, say hello to friendly-looking people if you fancy company.

Like the others said, there is no special etiquette. It's just a bar. Don't get worked up over it, or hype it up to be a big deal. It's not at all! Don't make assumptions about why others are there, not everyone is out looking for an easy lay. Make of it what you will.

Untense

Unregistered wrote: »

It's the etiquette of getting a date and chatting up men that I'm not used to

That depends on the people involved really.
There is plenty of cheesy arse-pinching and winking going on in the gay clubs, and that obviously works or people wouldn't be doing it. There are people who will come up and offer to buy you a drink, or just make conversation. There are also people who are not at all interested in meeting someone in a pub and are only out to have drinks and a laugh.

There's no such thing as 'doing it right'. Just do what feels right for you, and if that appeals to the other person, great. If it doesn't work, it's not that you did it 'wrong', they're just not interested.