Oh no! What did I let myself into!

shreksaurus

I started babysitting for a neighbour a few years ago. Starting off it was only an odd saturday night. Within the past 18 months or so she started calling upon me more and more for saturday nights. At one stage she tried to book me permantatly for saturday nights. Even though she has no major plans - just the pub.

For a long time i felt I had an obligation to babysit to keep the peace as neighbours. Working full time, i decided a few months ago that it was too much and i started to say no more often. Last time I babysat was six weeks ago. And it was awful. They went out so late. Child went to bed so late @ 12.15 or thereabouts, and she and her husband came back so late. My sunday (one of my two days off) was ruined. I was exhausted.

She contacted me during the week, she sent me on a guilt trip saying that her sister has breast cancer, and asked me would I babysit (shes going to a pub by the way and not to a hospital to see a sick sister). Feeling good at the time i agreed to babysit and now i'm dreading it because i know they're going to come back so late without a care for me. Friday evening now and i'm wrecked. I get a strong feeling that she doesn't care that i've a job i love to go to every monday.

During the xmas somebody I cared about so much was very sick in hospital (which she knew about) and all she cared about was her drink and going out. Dispite going through such a distressing time she contacted me looking for a babysitter more than usual at the time because it was holidays.

Dont know what to do now. Should i cancel, or will i babysit to keep the peace.

Tails142

Seeing as how you have already said you will babysit tomorrow night I think you should go through with it.

HOWEVER, in future tell her to feck off, unless you're stuck for the money?

themacdaddy

If you really want to keep the peace I would do it this time but tell her politely it is the last time you are available to do so. You can easily make up an excuse or just be honest and say as you are working full time you need your weekends to relax. If she is any kind of a friend I am sure she will understand and if she doesnt it just really shows what kind of person she is. Sometimes you have to look out for yourself especially when some like her seems to be taking advantage all the time!

shreksaurus

I also work very long hours during the week. I work 50 to 60 hours a week. Work is very intense so I need to be awake, alert, and fresh every morning.

Kitsune9tails

Oh my god are you mad!!!! Cancel! :eek:

I dont know you but you sound like a nice person. Too nice of a person. You need your rest. Seems to me like this woman really doesn't care about your saturday nights and she's more then likely pushing it cuz she knows you'll fold.

Stand up for yourself and stuff keeping the peace, trust me you'll feel better for it and if not at lest you'll have your weekends back. Its not like theres no other babysitters in the world. She'll survive without you, but can your mental health take the stress!

themacdaddy

shreksaurus wrote: »

I also work very long hours during the week. I work 50 to 60 hours a week. Work is very intense so I need to be awake, alert, and fresh every morning.

There ya go perfect honest reason to stop. Don't let her guilt you into anything either. Just tell her you sympathise with her situation but you can't physically do it anymore!

shreksaurus

Thanks for the replies.

Tails142, I certainly do not need the money.
Themacdaddy, think i will talk to her tomorrow about keeping weekends free. I didn't know how to word it to her before but you said it in your post - need time to relax.

Thanks

I think the only way out of it is to kill the kid.






Or just grow a spine and say it to her. I wouldn't give a balls if my neighbor didn't like me if it meant having weekend nights to myself!

AnCatDubh

as you are a nice person and agreed - see it through this time but be firm that this is the last time. Explain that you aren't available any more for babysitting. Be firm, and then don't row back to helping out no matter what her sad story is. She will simply have to source a new babysitter - not that difficult and a small ad will probably yield multiple candidates in the current economic situation that people are in.

Firetrap

If you've promised to babysit tomorrow night, you would be better off doing it to keep the peace and not make an enemy of your neighbour. Tell her you can't babysit for her after tomorrow night - it will give her a week to find someone else to babysit. You don't have to explain yourself to her - you are perfectly entitled to withdraw your services.

You are not the only babysitter in the world - keep that in mind if she tries to make you feel guilty.

Alanstrainor

OP, despite what you may think. It is just as simple as saying "Sorry, but this is the last time i'll be available to babysit". You dont have to "make up" excuses, you are doing this person the favour, just say that's it, and walk away if needs be. Nothing to feel bad about, you need your rest and this person is taking you for a ride.

shreksaurus

Firetrap wrote: »

you are perfectly entitled to withdraw your services.

If I was doing this as part of a service I would charge parents for coming home late. Give them a time to be home at and for every hour that they're late I'd charge 40 euro. Wish I thought of this before - I'd be filthly rich now. I started off doing it as a favour.

Thanks for all the replies. It was interesting to read all your views on this and to find out that I'm not in the wrong for wanting time off.

mickeydevine

shreksaurus wrote: »

If I was doing this as part of a service I would charge parents for coming home late. Give them a time to be home at and for every hour that they're late I'd charge 40 euro. Wish I thought of this before - I'd be filthly rich now. I started off doing it as a favour.

Thanks for all the replies. It was interesting to read all your views on this and to find out that I'm not in the wrong for wanting time off.

Sounds like your spending your weekends in-doors. Get dressed up go out on the lash and get some lovin. Tell her to bugger off.

Toots

Tails142 wrote: »

Seeing as how you have already said you will babysit tomorrow night I think you should go through with it.

HOWEVER, in future tell her to feck off, unless you're stuck for the money?

Good advice. I think it would be a poor show on your part if you cancelled the night before you're due to baby-sit.

Next time she calls, tell her you're not available to babysit anymore due to work commitments. Don't elaborate and don't let her try to persuade you to do 'the odd night' otherwise you'll eventually end up back where you started. Am I reading this correctly that you don't actually get paid for this??? :eek: It will probably be awkward telling her you're not babysitting anymore, but you need to bite the bullet and tell her, it'll be worth the few minutes of potential unpleasantness in the long run!

Zaph

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

I think the only way out of it is to kill the kid.

Rojomcdojo, instead of cracking lame-ass jokes you'd be better off using the time to familiarise yourself with the part of the charter dealing with unhelpful posts.

smileykey

There's lots of teenagers who would kill for a few quid to get them through the weekend, point her in the direction of one, tell her you're a hard working woman who can't risk to jepordise her performance at work due to kid induced exhaustion and leave it at that. I wouldn't feel bad about it at all; You make it clear from your post that she's is using you. She doesn't deserve your guilt.

mikemac

Double your hourly rate.
That way even if you still want the odd night you'll be paid handsomely.

More likely though you won't be asked again

Daemonica

Look. There is an easy way of doing this, not by burning bridges.


I have a twin bro, this kinda thing happens to him a lot. If you are anything like him, then you are a pretty damn good person, except people take advantage of your generosity.

Arrange something for the night in question, like something with one of your friends that suddenly pops up. Some unavoidable excuse to not do it for them.

Without actually mentioning it to them, eventually they will get the message if you are always otherwise engaged or busy.

Keith186

shreksaurus wrote: »

I started babysitting for a neighbour a few years ago. Starting off it was only an odd saturday night. Within the past 18 months or so she started calling upon me more and more for saturday nights. At one stage she tried to book me permantatly for saturday nights. Even though she has no major plans - just the pub.

For a long time i felt I had an obligation to babysit to keep the peace as neighbours. Working full time, i decided a few months ago that it was too much and i started to say no more often. Last time I babysat was six weeks ago. And it was awful. They went out so late. Child went to bed so late @ 12.15 or thereabouts, and she and her husband came back so late. My sunday (one of my two days off) was ruined. I was exhausted.

She contacted me during the week, she sent me on a guilt trip saying that her sister has breast cancer, and asked me would I babysit (shes going to a pub by the way and not to a hospital to see a sick sister). Feeling good at the time i agreed to babysit and now i'm dreading it because i know they're going to come back so late without a care for me. Friday evening now and i'm wrecked. I get a strong feeling that she doesn't care that i've a job i love to go to every monday.

During the xmas somebody I cared about so much was very sick in hospital (which she knew about) and all she cared about was her drink and going out. Dispite going through such a distressing time she contacted me looking for a babysitter more than usual at the time because it was holidays.

Dont know what to do now. Should i cancel, or will i babysit to keep the peace.

WHO GIVES A ****?

greenteaicedtea

I get suckered into things like this, for me it was babysitting a relative's dogs. She'd call and ask, I thought, yes, I can do it those dates, and would agree, but after a certain point I started to say no just on principle.

Arrange something for the night in question, like something with one of your friends that suddenly pops up. Some unavoidable excuse to not do it for them.

I agree with this.

I think you have to find something to do on the weekends, even if it's popping in to see your mother or something simple, and then tell them you're busy... it's not a lie. Perhaps lying outright, "I'm busy" is the only solution, if you are like me and you say "yes" before you can think straight.

Without actually mentioning it to them, eventually they will get the message if you are always otherwise engaged or busy.

I disagree, there will be always some holiday crisis, or an emergency or something. The OP is very reliable and they remember this. Even if they find another babysitter, I think they will think of the OP as the backup, and she will still get asked

Wibbs

Keith186 wrote: »

WHO GIVES A ****?

I do. Keith186 take a week off to read the charter of this forum

Salome

They're taking advantage of your good nature. If you prefer not to babysit anymore for them, tell them. Babysit as promised but tell them after that, that you'd prefer to keep your weekends free as you work really hard during the week.

Though, really, you DON'T have to justify yourself to anyone.

carlybabe1

shreksaurus wrote: »

If I was doing this as part of a service I would charge parents for coming home late. Give them a time to be home at and for every hour that they're late I'd charge 40 euro. Wish I thought of this before - I'd be filthly rich now. I started off doing it as a favour.

Thanks for all the replies. It was interesting to read all your views on this and to find out that I'm not in the wrong for wanting time off.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: PLEASE tell me that shes paying you!!!!!!please say she is, cause if you're doin it for nothing then you need to cop on....of course she'll hound you. If I want to go out, apart from checkin the finances to see if I can afford to, I also have to make sure I have money for a babysitter
If shes not paying you then cancel, and **** the peace, shes takin the piss