Getting over my ex

cliffy300

Hi everyone, I have a problem getting over my ex, the relationship lasted 6 months but ended 2 years ago. Because I`m so terribly shy I never had a relationship with a girl before only the odd one night stand. We work together and she asked me out. For that 6 months everything was great, I was never so happy, then things went a bit stale and I started having doubts about whether or not we were right for each other. We split up and at the time I thought it was for the best but within a week I realised i had made a terrible mistake.

Working together i have to see her every day, for a while we stayed good friends but she didnt want to go back with me again. Gradually though she moved further and further away from me until the inevitable happened and she met someone else. It is incredibly hard every day to see her now and not to be able to even talk to her. She actually hates me now and from being so close to me before she knows exactly what buttons to press to put me down.

Since xmas things have gotten worse, I dont go out anymore because when I do I end up getting very depressed. I have friends who are concerned but they don`t really understand. Its all well and good saying to get over her and move on but like I said before I have to work with her and cannot leave my job in this day and age.

I have been on dates since but nobody else seems to interest me. The ex is like a dark cloud on my horizon, however happy I am I know it will eventually go back to my torment over her.

I have discussed this with my GP but i don`t think he understands either. I have talked to some counsellors about it too but nothing seems to work. Has anybody else been in a similar situation and found a way through it?

I_M

Well, i find it very difficult to talk to most people too. They seem to be on a different wavelength. Usually GP's are just so busy that they don't have time to listen to stuff like this. Counsellors just sit there and agree with whatever you say, so they are not much use either. I'd say that you just have to forget about her, as she sounds like a horrible person tbh. I understand that you were very attached to her, but you have to remember that most of that was hormonal anyway and will happen with another woman. She shouldn't try to make you feel bad, but probably by seeing that she can make you feel bad-she gets a power high. So, never let her know that she annoys you or makes you feel regret. Just smile al the time when she is around and make as if you do not know her. Maybe try talking to other women in the office and blanking her every now and again to let her know she isn't in control. (maybe like-if she says something just don't respond for a minute and say, oh hi, i didn't notice you there) If she has any feelings for you she will soon feel thats she needs your attention and come back to you. If she doesn'y, well then you are better off without her, cause you can't make anyone love someone they don't. It may be that she is trying to get back at you and sees that it is working, when she doesn't get a response from her childish behaviour, she will soon stop. so just smile and be happy! It will make you feel better too, and there are plenty of women out there, dont let her think she is any better than all of them

ellie1

When I broke up with a guy, I was very sad and down. It was a very rocky break up too and there was a lot of hurtfull comments said. I felt nobody understood me at all. I pretended to be happy for a long time then suddenly i was really happy being on my own. It took a few months. Different things work for different people. Keep busy...exercise...go out wiith friends....

It takes time to get over rejection. But you will get there. Good Luck.