I am a tool

LegacyUser

Im just in from a night out and I have to say I am a tool and a chicken shít.

Went the pub nice an early and I saw 3 girls leave and one of them look familiar (lets call her X) but they ended up coming back in and while they were walking up the stairs X looks back at me.

I think X looks like a girl (Y) who is friends with a girl (Z) who is going out with one of my friends from home. I was talking to Z and Y on the train on Monday and Z asked if we were both heading out on Thursday night and we both said yes.

Then later on in the night I cant seem to stop looking over at her and she looks back at me with a smile. I see her on the dance floor when there is very few people on it but I refuse to go on because I really didnt like the music.

Then I went over to the other side of the bar to meet up with the rest of my mates and her and friends follow us and sit right beside us but then straight away I leg it away to go on the dance floor because I really like a song but once I come back after that song the girls are gone from that spot.

I continue to catch her eye and I see other lads chatting her up and I get a sick feeling in my stomach but then I see her getting with another guy and I just feel like getting sick but it turns out it wasnt her.

I was outside a take away, X and her friends are sitting across the road from me and I was there talking to my friends but then X and co come over the bench right beside me but what do I do? I just walk away but I was only gone for about 2mins and X and her friends had left.

Now im not sure if X and Y are the same girl but they do look a lot a like. I am just sick with myself because I didnt even bother to go over and talk to the young girl because I didnt know what to say. Why did a I run away? I have no idea the only person who is losing out is myself because I am a massive tool.

Like my friends go off and get girls no problem but I have always seem to have a problem with getting with the op sex. Someone once told me I am afraid of success.

/Rant

Supra lover 87

Heres a bit of advice that you know yourself stop bloody walking away when girls come over.

They tryed to make contact three times and you walked away and then come back and expect them to still be there waiting.

I dont know man i think if you keep doing this you will be single all your life running away from woman

RossFixxxed

Ah we're all a tool sometimes, and it's easy to let the nerves go on a night out like that. Just chalk it up as a learning experience, you can see where you went wrong many times in the night.

Try to take at least one step further.

It's funny, I'm in a long term relationship and I now don't give a damn about talking to people when I'm out etc, but if my friends needed someone I'd be happy to approach any group of girls, guys or whatever. You lose that fear when you don't need to do anything and it does give you a little perspective. Once you know and don't care that you could be rejected (and to be fair you sounded well in there) it gets easy (or at least easier).

Take a further step next time, even plan to just say a few things and go, or get The Look that women do.... Also concentrate on having fun on the night out, a guy who's having fun, smiling etc will do far better that a desperate sleeze staring at someone!

R

LegacyUser

are you a little shy OP? you sound a bit like me. I consider myself very shy and I've also moved away from girls if they approached me in night clubs until 2 weeks ago. A girl was out and her friends knew my female friends and they kept telling me that this girl taught I was good looking so I just said screw it, went over to her started talking and ended up going home with her.

Just gotta bite the bullet, and in a situation where there approaching you first, what have you got to loose?

Poloman

I refuse to go on because I really didnt like the music.

Then I went over to the other side of the bar to meet up with the rest of my mates and her and friends follow us and sit right beside us but then straight away I leg it away to go on the dance floor because I really like a song but once I come back after that song the girls are gone from that spot.

Are you serious? It seems to me you prefer music than girls. It would be hard to get up dancing with few people on the dance floor thats not too bad but you then went dancing the second she sat near you and you got up and ran away when she sat beside you on the bench. How would you feel if she did all that to you?

Are you sure you like her and not just seeing if she is interested in you. After that performance I'm not sure she would still be interested. Only way out of this is to get your mates bird to tell her that you fancy her. Childish but thats the only way you may have a shot.

petethebrick

Yes you are a tool! - just joking^^^
Seriously though, what are complaining about - she showed interest in you and you ran away like a little girl.....every fella can get nervous with women but if you wanna score you generally have to just grow a pair and start chatting to them. I hope you do next time.Good luck

rondog

yea mate you gotta lose the fear.I learned a long time ago that id rather make a tool of myself actually trying to score the bird than sit alone in bed that night p1ssed off at myself for not even trying.

In the words of a great philosopher 'those who dare wins'......Del boy trotter

LegacyUser

I know if I was in her position I would think I would not be interested but I think I made enough eye contact to show I was.

Yes childish I know thats why im beating myself up over this, would you believe this is not the 1st time this has happened.

When it comes to women I get really shy for no reason.

Once the ice is broken im ok but that is the hardest part for me, maybe I should drink a bit more as last night I only had 2 drinks.

Im sill not sure if it was the same girl I was talking to on the train as you know the difference between a girl on a normal day and a night out.

Hopefully I will see her out again.

petethebrick

Unregistered wrote: »

I know if I was in her position I would think I would not be interested but I think I made enough eye contact to show I was.

Yes childish I know thats why im beating myself up over this, would you believe this is not the 1st time this has happened.

When it comes to women I get really shy for no reason.

Once the ice is broken im ok but that is the hardest part for me, maybe I should drink a bit more as last night I only had 2 drinks.

Im sill not sure if it was the same girl I was talking to on the train as you know the difference between a girl on a normal day and a night out.

Hopefully I will see her out again.

1) Most people communicate with actual words not eye contact - and besides it sounds like your eye contact worked - she came over right? but oh yeah - you ran off

2) Yes drink can make you more confident but it can also make you talk **** and do stupid crap - don't rely on it for chatting up girls. Do you have trouble 'breaking the ice' with female shop assistants, work colleagues etc?? - women in bars are just the same as them

3) Who cares if it was the same girl - if she was hot just go for it

Mr. Incognito

when a woman looks you in the eye and smiles at you it means

come talk to me.

The only thing you can do is hope you see her again, OR you could get in touch with Z, explain what you just said here, and ask her to pass your number and apology to X/Y

Yes, you will probably have to admit to Z that you were a shy scared tool but if X/Y is interested she'll be flattered.

Go get em Tiger!

LegacyUser

X and Y definitely not the same girl.

Anyway was out again last night and I see X out again with the same two girls who where with her the last time. This time she showed no interest what so ever and rightly so after the last time I ran away from her.

Later that night me and my friends are talking the piss on the dance floor pretending we love all these pop songs. Then her and friends end up dancing right beside us and my jacket zip get caught in one of her friends bag I get it out and I give the thumps up (seems ever so cringworthy now looking back at it) but what an opportunity to start talking to them as the dance floor wasn't that packed and the music wasn't that loud at the time.

Outside the club I see her sitting on her own as her two friends are being chatted up but what a chance that was to go over and talk to her.

I see her again sitting down on seats outside the take-away but I was preoccupied with scumbags squaring up to me because I wanted to break up a fight between my house mate and another lad. My house mate gets thrown straight into her but he didn't make much contact with her, he most fell over the seat and on to the ground. I could have gone over to see if she was okay but even if I wasn't more worried about getting my house mate out of there I know I wouldn't have.

The last I seen of her she was talking to some guy who clearly had way too much to drink.

I truly think my shot has passed and I don't think I will ever really grasp getting with women at clubs.

sardineta

Your confidence will come with age.

LegacyUser

^^ Totally agree

I was just like this... toolish behavious around women I actually liked... I spent many a night kicking myself and beating myself up over throwing away oppertunities like this. I was well into my 20's before I got the hang of it. I don't know what it is... shyness, immaturity, whatever.

make the effort to score and your day will come!

LegacyUser

your not alone kid, im 26 and have been doing this all
my life, it has'nt gotten any easier for me, ive just gotten
bitter about life. My advice would be dont let this
behavoiur get the better of you cause you'l
end up hating the world.